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Barb.b
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 12:20am | IP Logged
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Months ago I posted that a neighbor boy was being mean to my child - some teasing and also excluding him from the group (telling him "not now" when a group of kids were playing in the front of this neighbors house.)
It is worse - now other kids join in. I don't want to take the space to tell you all they say - but they are really cruel! It used to be, you could let 9 year olds play at a neighbors house in the back or front - not any more. The second no one is around - the verbal bullying starts. And I am the only mother around that when my kids this age are out playing I WILL BE OUT TOO! No one else supervises their kids - ever. And the other day - 4 others were around - and 3 began teasing. The 4rth sticks around to laugh. I tell my kid all the right things - but really it is sad - I can only let him play with any of the kids around us if it is in my yard or maybe the house right next door to mine and only in their driveway as our driveways are side by side.
My son asked my yesterday why no one in the neighborhood liked him!
Oh - I tried to approach one parent, very non accusingly like - well that backfired!
Before this happened our house was up for sale (now over a year on the market) I pray it sells - we really need to get out of this neighborhood.
My ds's dad and I divorced last year - now this. . . I need help praying ladies! please pray my house sells - we all need a fresh start here - and a fresh group of neighbors. (me included - cause i know how some neighbor ladies talk behind my back!) I have no new word for my poor ds! I cry at night for him! I worry! My poor son needs a new neighborhood! I think he is a target cause these kids moms talk about my divorce, and because my ds is adopted from Guatemala, and he is a nice kid, and we are catholic.
I live in an all white neighborhood with high end/ expensive houses (thus why I can't sell my house!). They are really spoiled, bullying and prejudice.
Really - my ds tried to stop 2 kids when they were making fun of some hispanic house painters who were speaking spanish. He just nicely said they should stop. When they didn't he said - "you know I'm Mexican!" - they said he was Guatemalan and ds says "Well, it is almost the same thing and making fun of people isn't nice!"
Barb
Added - I can't sleep - I wish God had a web site or blog!
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SeaStar
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 6:23am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Barb. What a hard situation for your family.
I will pray for you and your sweet da.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I'm praying. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, but it's very hard to get mean kids to be kind.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 9:39am | IP Logged
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Oh, Barb.....I'm so sorry. 
This sounds like such a tough, tough situation. I will be praying for you, your son, and for your house to sell.
Sending  across the miles.
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kristinannie
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you. You should just move to my neighborhood where none of the kids come out of their houses.  I hope that all of your intentions get worked out for you. God bless.
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wifemommy
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 11:59am | IP Logged
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Praying how hard for both of you-Annie
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Grateful in VA
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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That is a tough situation. Our kids get into frequent spats with our neighbors kids. I usually let them sort it out themselves. Sometimes it gets really ugly(throwing rocks and swinging sticks). Sometimes I have to reprimand the other kids and/or mine. The other mom is never outside. If the other kids are at fault and don't back down I call their mom. Thankfully she and I are on good terms and she has always gotten her kids in line when I can't.
For the most part the kids get along really well. Every once in a while they are all feeling cranky on the same day.
I can't imagine dealing with mean kids when the parents are mean too.
Maybe you could find a scout pack or sports team or some group run by the church(junior legion of Mary? chior?) your son could join and make some friends that he could invite over so he wouldn't have to hang out with bullies.
I'll be keeping both of you in my prayers.
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: April 26 2012 at 6:08pm | IP Logged
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Oh many prayers!
We too are trying to move. We are in an apartment with no yard and extremely limited space for growing plants (started with the balcony, then just against the window, now I can't have anything outside at all (except the neighbors can have hanging plants???? huh????)).
But for my son - to have time/space to be outside and not worry about the neighbors (we want land too - not much, just enough for some privacy and LOTS of running space).
The neighbor boys here get corrupted quickly, so I can't allow him to even be on our balcony if certain boys are around and I don't want to teach him to snub everyone he sees either! It's so hard to just let kids be kids....
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mariB
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| Posted: April 27 2012 at 6:21am | IP Logged
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Oh, dear, praying for this very difficult situation. Praise your son for his compassion for others. God will use him in the future. Kindness is incredibly overlooked in our society as something everyone assumes kids have...this is not the case. I have witnessed incredibly cruelty from kids in our community. Praying your son and for you...
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: April 27 2012 at 7:19am | IP Logged
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Praying for this difficult situation! Praying also for your house to sell.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: April 27 2012 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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Praying for your family, Barb .
Looking at the bright side...
When faced with bullying behavior, it is a way to teach real life skills. Like Jesus, we all have enemies. In our family we define an enemy as "someone who doesn't want your good." Then we teach different ways to deal with our enemies and their behaviors. We take responsibility for our interactions and reactions to them. This helps us to not feel like, or become, victims. Surely, our enemies win battles at our expense, and we suffer at their hands, but we and joyful in our hope to win the ultimate reward...heaven!
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Barb.b
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| Posted: April 28 2012 at 5:35pm | IP Logged
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Angie, That was beautiful! Thank you!
Barb
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: April 30 2012 at 6:16am | IP Logged
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I'll say a pray for you Barb. That must be very difficult. We live on a street where there is only one other boy my son's age. His parents aren't too thrilled about them playing together (maybe because we homeschool?) so my son, now 8yo, has prayed for a friend for years. It is a lonely time for him. Still, I think it must be more lonely when there ARE kids your age that are bullies! This is a difficult situation. I will also pray that your house sells.
(Incidently, there are a couple of nice houses for sale on our street ...  )
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Barb.b
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| Posted: May 10 2012 at 8:06am | IP Logged
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NOW - when ever my son goes outside all the neighbor kids go INSIDE whoverer's house they are playing at. I am trying to be Christian about this, but the parents of all these kids are all so clueless because they don't take the time to be around to hear when these things happen! I mean any one of our children have the potential to be mean - but the ones that end up kind do so because PARENTS decide to actually parent! I cry to God to get me out of this neighborhood (see house offer post). Not only for this but because owning a house with my ex husband is not walk in the park - plus this house is HUGE ( not my decision to buy this monster) and I am tired of taking care of it!
OH - sorry to babble but this is an update on 2 different prayer requests in one!
Thanks!
Barb
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mommy4ever
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| Posted: May 10 2012 at 8:58am | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you and ds.
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: May 10 2012 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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 Praying for your situation.
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Booksnbabes
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Praying, Barb.
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Pilgrim
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Praying for you! How difficult to go through all you have and are, but even more so to watch our children suffer is so hard.
Our Lady of Good Remedy, please pray for us!
St. Joseph, please pray for us!
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: my ds being verbally bullied UPDATE
