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kingvozzo Forum All-Star


Joined: March 28 2005 Location: Maine
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 10:01am | IP Logged
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My 7 year old is having his first confession heard this afternoon, in anticipation of receiving his First Communion on June 26-the Feast of Corpus Christi! If you could please pray that all goes well today, I would so appreciate it!
I don't post on here much anymore, but I visit often and offer many prayers along with you all. This is an amazing group!
update:
Well, it was a disaster
Fr. said he wasn't prepared, didn't do anything and "didn't even read the act of contrition." "it was like a 5 y/o's confession" "It was the worst confession heard in 25 years."
I have been preparing him for this, he's the 3rd child I've done this for. Fr. had heard my daughter's 1st confession 2 years ago, using the same simplified act of contrition, and there were no problems.
"O God, I am sorry for all my sins with my whole heart. Please help me to avoid sin in the future." Fr. says this is an inadequate prayer and he has to use the one they use.
My son is a bit distracted and immature, but I had spoken to our Associate Pastor about it and he said it wouldn't be a problem. Our pastor (who heard his "confession" this afternoon) had met with us earlier in the month and had assured us both that he would help my John through the process.
I'm stunned and really upset. I'm not even sure what to do next. I would never have presented my John to Fr. if I didn't think he were adequately prepared. FHC has to be postponed now as well. And, I'm also reeling because I think Fr.'s words were very harsh...he's not generally a warm, approachable person, but I've never had any problem with him. I'm just not sure what to do. I keep thinking that I would like to discuss this with our other priest, but I don't want it to appear that I'm trying to bypass our Pastor.
I'm so upset...I've just been weeping for the last hour...
__________________ Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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joann10 Forum All-Star


Joined: Feb 10 2007
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 10:38am | IP Logged
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Sending prayers.....
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kristinannie Forum All-Star


Joined: Jan 27 2011 Location: West Virginia
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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Praying!
__________________ John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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guitarnan Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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Joining you in prayer!
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Grace&Chaos Forum All-Star


Joined: June 07 2010 Location: California
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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Praying for him 
__________________ Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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MaryM Board Moderator


Joined: Feb 11 2005 Location: Colorado
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
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Oh Noreen, I'm so sorry... To me the words seem harsh too - Once you have some time to pray and settle the emotions it would be good to talk to one or both priests again. I think you can talk to the associate in a way that wouldn't be like going around the pastor - rather a "Fr. what should I do now? What are our options?" kind of talk and sharing your feelings.
__________________ Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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stefoodie Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 17 2005 Location: Ohio
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
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Noreen, I'm so sorry to read this. Praying for you and your child. And for your pastor too -- was he maybe having a horrible day or dealing with something difficult that made him act this way? I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but those words do sound harsh and uncalled for, and if you say you've never had a problem with him....
__________________ stef
mom to five
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JennGM Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Virginia
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
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Oh Noreen, I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you. I wonder if Father took nerves into account?
Now, if your pastor is saying he doesn't seem to be at the age of reason, that seems to make sense. But there should be much leeway on how the confession can be done. The necessary elements: Tell the priest your sins, ask for forgiveness, and do the penance -- give a lot of leeway. For the Catechesis formation, each child spoke their act of contrition from the heart .
And if there is a lot of pressure on your son, it could be like a test-taking brain freeze!
Anyway, praying.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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wifemommy Forum All-Star

Joined: July 10 2006
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
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Um I think that is totally unacceptable on the priest part. Confession is hard for a child (even for a grown up) The priest has taken what should be a beautiful cleansing time and turned it into something to be dreaded. Under no circumstances would I allow a child to go back to this priest. As for the Act of Contrition the only thing that matters is the sorrow and sesire not to sin again. Yes I would go straight to the associate. Praying....Annie
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Mackfam Board Moderator

Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006 Location: Alabama
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 3:05pm | IP Logged
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Oh Noreen...
I'm praying you and your son especially...but also the priest involved! Praying that with a little space, you can gather your thoughts, talk to your son, and hopefully the priest as well. It was very harsh what he said, very harsh indeed.
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16 , ds 11 , dd 8 , and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator

Joined: July 09 2006
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
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Oh, no, Noreen! If your son is sorry and wants to amend his life, how can that not be okay? If we had to worry whether our sincere confession is "good enough", would we ever feel worthy to confess (and yes, I know that the idea of being "worthy to confess" is something that doesn't make sense). I am so sorry. Praying that you can work things out and that your son isn't completely put off the idea of confession.
Peace,
Nancy
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DominaCaeli Forum All-Star

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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Noreen. I pray you're able to work this out with the priests at your parish. Praying for you and your son.
__________________ Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Erin Forum Moderator

Joined: Feb 23 2005 Location: Australia
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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Oh Noreen
__________________ Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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Grateful in VA Forum Pro

Joined: Oct 22 2010
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
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Just seeing this now. I'm sorry it didn't go well. My son had his first confession in May. We had drilled him for months. His first confession went well. So on to FHC. His second confession was the disaster. I figured he knew what he was doing since his first one went well so i didn't prep him the second time around. He went in and come out after only a few seconds. From my pew I could hear father holler at him to come back. He went back in and stayed in for a couple of minutes that time. When I asked him what happened he said he went in said his sins and left. Thankfully it wasn't a face-to-face confession. Father has no idea who it was and boy do I know I need to go over the whole process some more.
I feel for you
You and your son are in my prayers tonight.
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guitarnan Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you. I think the ladies here have given you good advice.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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jawgee Forum All-Star

Joined: May 02 2011 Location: New Hampshire
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
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Prayers...
__________________ Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
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Grace&Chaos Forum All-Star


Joined: June 07 2010 Location: California
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
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Just seeing your update.
Praying for your son 
__________________ Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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folklaur Forum All-Star

Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry
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kristinannie Forum All-Star


Joined: Jan 27 2011 Location: West Virginia
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| Posted: June 17 2011 at 9:35pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry to hear about this. I think those words were very harsh, especially since you have discussed this with him already. I know your heart is aching. I will send some prayers your way! God bless.
__________________ John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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mariB Forum All-Star


Joined: Dec 20 2006 Location: Vermont
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| Posted: June 18 2011 at 4:59am | IP Logged
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Noreen, I am so sorry. Our family has had experiences like this before in the past. I like MaryM's advice of talking with both priest later on when your emotions have settled.
I am praying for you, your son, and for the priest involved.
__________________ marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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