Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login
We Pray to the Lord
 4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Subject Topic: First Confession update :-( Post ReplyPost New Topic
Author
Message << Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
kingvozzo
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Maine
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2653
Posted: June 17 2011 at 10:01am | IP Logged Quote kingvozzo

My 7 year old is having his first confession heard this afternoon, in anticipation of receiving his First Communion on June 26-the Feast of Corpus Christi! If you could please pray that all goes well today, I would so appreciate it!
I don't post on here much anymore, but I visit often and offer many prayers along with you all. This is an amazing group!


update:
Well, it was a disaster
Fr. said he wasn't prepared, didn't do anything and "didn't even read the act of contrition." "it was like a 5 y/o's confession" "It was the worst confession heard in 25 years."
I have been preparing him for this, he's the 3rd child I've done this for. Fr. had heard my daughter's 1st confession 2 years ago, using the same simplified act of contrition, and there were no problems.
"O God, I am sorry for all my sins with my whole heart. Please help me to avoid sin in the future." Fr. says this is an inadequate prayer and he has to use the one they use.
My son is a bit distracted and immature, but I had spoken to our Associate Pastor about it and he said it wouldn't be a problem. Our pastor (who heard his "confession" this afternoon) had met with us earlier in the month and had assured us both that he would help my John through the process.
I'm stunned and really upset. I'm not even sure what to do next. I would never have presented my John to Fr. if I didn't think he were adequately prepared. FHC has to be postponed now as well. And, I'm also reeling because I think Fr.'s words were very harsh...he's not generally a warm, approachable person, but I've never had any problem with him. I'm just not sure what to do. I keep thinking that I would like to discuss this with our other priest, but I don't want it to appear that I'm trying to bypass our Pastor.
I'm so upset...I've just been weeping for the last hour...


__________________
Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
Back to Top View kingvozzo's Profile Search for other posts by kingvozzo
 
joann10
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Feb 10 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3493
Posted: June 17 2011 at 10:38am | IP Logged Quote joann10

Sending prayers.....
Back to Top View joann10's Profile Search for other posts by joann10
 
kristinannie
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Jan 27 2011
Location: West Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1363
Posted: June 17 2011 at 11:06am | IP Logged Quote kristinannie

Praying!

__________________
John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
Back to Top View kristinannie's Profile Search for other posts by kristinannie
 
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
Posted: June 17 2011 at 11:09am | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Joining you in prayer!

__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
Back to Top View guitarnan's Profile Search for other posts by guitarnan Visit guitarnan's Homepage
 
Grace&Chaos
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1261
Posted: June 17 2011 at 12:03pm | IP Logged Quote Grace&Chaos

Praying for him

__________________
Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
Back to Top View Grace&Chaos's Profile Search for other posts by Grace&Chaos Visit Grace&Chaos's Homepage
 
MaryM
Board Moderator
Board Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 13104
Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:35pm | IP Logged Quote MaryM

Oh Noreen, I'm so sorry... To me the words seem harsh too - Once you have some time to pray and settle the emotions it would be good to talk to one or both priests again. I think you can talk to the associate in a way that wouldn't be like going around the pastor - rather a "Fr. what should I do now? What are our options?" kind of talk and sharing your feelings.

__________________
Mary M. in Denver

Our Domestic Church
Back to Top View MaryM's Profile Search for other posts by MaryM Visit MaryM's Homepage
 
stefoodie
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 8457
Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:48pm | IP Logged Quote stefoodie

Noreen, I'm so sorry to read this.       Praying for you and your child. And for your pastor too -- was he maybe having a horrible day or dealing with something difficult that made him act this way? I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but those words do sound harsh and uncalled for, and if you say you've never had a problem with him....

__________________
stef

mom to five
Back to Top View stefoodie's Profile Search for other posts by stefoodie Visit stefoodie's Homepage
 
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:53pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Oh Noreen, I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you. I wonder if Father took nerves into account?

Now, if your pastor is saying he doesn't seem to be at the age of reason, that seems to make sense. But there should be much leeway on how the confession can be done. The necessary elements: Tell the priest your sins, ask for forgiveness, and do the penance -- give a lot of leeway. For the Catechesis formation, each child spoke their act of contrition from the heart .

And if there is a lot of pressure on your son, it could be like a test-taking brain freeze!

Anyway, praying.

__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
Back to Top View JennGM's Profile Search for other posts by JennGM Visit JennGM's Homepage
 
wifemommy
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star


Joined: July 10 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 732
Posted: June 17 2011 at 2:54pm | IP Logged Quote wifemommy

Um I think that is totally unacceptable on the priest part. Confession is hard for a child (even for a grown up) The priest has taken what should be a beautiful cleansing time and turned it into something to be dreaded. Under no circumstances would I allow a child to go back to this priest. As for the Act of Contrition the only thing that matters is the sorrow and sesire not to sin again. Yes I would go straight to the associate. Praying....Annie
Back to Top View wifemommy's Profile Search for other posts by wifemommy
 
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Board Moderator
Avatar
Non Nobis

Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
Posted: June 17 2011 at 3:05pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Oh Noreen...

I'm praying you and your son especially...but also the priest involved! Praying that with a little space, you can gather your thoughts, talk to your son, and hopefully the priest as well. It was very harsh what he said, very harsh indeed.



__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
Back to Top View Mackfam's Profile Search for other posts by Mackfam Visit Mackfam's Homepage
 
hylabrook1
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator


Joined: July 09 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5980
Posted: June 17 2011 at 3:30pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Oh, no, Noreen! If your son is sorry and wants to amend his life, how can that not be okay? If we had to worry whether our sincere confession is "good enough", would we ever feel worthy to confess (and yes, I know that the idea of being "worthy to confess" is something that doesn't make sense). I am so sorry. Praying that you can work things out and that your son isn't completely put off the idea of confession.

Peace,
Nancy
Back to Top View hylabrook1's Profile Search for other posts by hylabrook1
 
DominaCaeli
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star


Joined: April 24 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3711
Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:06pm | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

I'm so sorry, Noreen. I pray you're able to work this out with the priests at your parish. Praying for you and your son.   

__________________
Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons

Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
Back to Top View DominaCaeli's Profile Search for other posts by DominaCaeli
 
Erin
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:49pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

Oh Noreen

__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
Back to Top View Erin's Profile Search for other posts by Erin Visit Erin's Homepage
 
Grateful in VA
Forum Pro
Forum Pro


Joined: Oct 22 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 277
Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:57pm | IP Logged Quote Grateful in VA

Just seeing this now. I'm sorry it didn't go well. My son had his first confession in May. We had drilled him for months. His first confession went well. So on to FHC. His second confession was the disaster. I figured he knew what he was doing since his first one went well so i didn't prep him the second time around. He went in and come out after only a few seconds. From my pew I could hear father holler at him to come back. He went back in and stayed in for a couple of minutes that time. When I asked him what happened he said he went in said his sins and left.    Thankfully it wasn't a face-to-face confession. Father has no idea who it was and boy do I know I need to go over the whole process some more.
I feel for you
You and your son are in my prayers tonight.
Back to Top View Grateful in VA's Profile Search for other posts by Grateful in VA
 
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
Posted: June 17 2011 at 4:58pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Praying for you. I think the ladies here have given you good advice.

__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
Back to Top View guitarnan's Profile Search for other posts by guitarnan Visit guitarnan's Homepage
 
jawgee
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star


Joined: May 02 2011
Location: New Hampshire
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1415
Posted: June 17 2011 at 5:45pm | IP Logged Quote jawgee



Prayers...

__________________
Monica

C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
Back to Top View jawgee's Profile Search for other posts by jawgee
 
Grace&Chaos
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1261
Posted: June 17 2011 at 6:09pm | IP Logged Quote Grace&Chaos

Just seeing your update.

Praying for your son

__________________
Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
Back to Top View Grace&Chaos's Profile Search for other posts by Grace&Chaos Visit Grace&Chaos's Homepage
 
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star


Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
Posted: June 17 2011 at 7:13pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

I'm so sorry
Back to Top View folklaur's Profile Search for other posts by folklaur
 
kristinannie
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Jan 27 2011
Location: West Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1363
Posted: June 17 2011 at 9:35pm | IP Logged Quote kristinannie

I am so sorry to hear about this. I think those words were very harsh, especially since you have discussed this with him already. I know your heart is aching. I will send some prayers your way! God bless.

__________________
John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
Back to Top View kristinannie's Profile Search for other posts by kristinannie
 
mariB
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Dec 20 2006
Location: Vermont
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3815
Posted: June 18 2011 at 4:59am | IP Logged Quote mariB

Noreen, I am so sorry. Our family has had experiences like this before in the past. I like MaryM's advice of talking with both priest later on when your emotions have settled.

I am praying for you, your son, and for the priest involved.

__________________
marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years

Back to Top View mariB's Profile Search for other posts by mariB Visit mariB's Homepage
 

Page of 2 Next >>
  [Add this topic to My Favorites] Post ReplyPost New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You can vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com