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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 26 2006 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
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Please pray for peace and kindess in my little parish. Once again, today we had a parishioner reduce someone else to tears. It's always the same thing...a mommy with more than one child, and the youngest a baby or vocal toddler, ends up crying because, after a stressful Mass, she is told she didn't take her loud child to the "nursery" fast enough, not that the nursery room is really a nursery. There is a TV in there; we just acquired a camera system so you can watch Mass on TV if you're stuck back there. However, there are no adult sized chairs to sit on. The room is really a classroom/library/supply room, so there are lots of ways for a toddler to get into trouble. Compounding the problem is that the mom who was criticized today has two other sons; they're 6 and 8, and she wants them to be in Mass, not back in the nursery. Dad's helpful when he's there, of course, but he wasn't able to come to Mass today.
I get upset when people leave Mass crying because someone spoke critically to them. This mom DID take her son out. But...she came back in during the final blessing (undoubtedly so she could collect her other two sons!) and her toddler was very loud. Our church building is small. There's nowhere to hide.
Please, please pray that people are kind and helpful to this mom (only Catholic for a few years, too, so she's always worrying about doing things "right") and to all the other moms and dads with young children. Mass isn't only for the people who want to pray in quiet. Sometimes the struggling mommies really need to be there, too (and this mom is working hard to keep her family coming to Mass and CCD every single week). We have only one Mass per Sunday, by the way, so families can't split up and take turns watching the littles at home.
I know it's hard to pray and pay attention when small children are loud. We need a peaceful and kind way to resolve this ongoing issue. Your prayers are greatly appreciated and will really help, I know. (They'll help me, for sure!)
Thanks.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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alicegunther
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| Posted: March 26 2006 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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It is sad that anyone would do this to a woman who is struggling with a child. Don't her critics remember Jesus saying, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these"? My guess is that the children surrounding Our Lord were crying and acting up too, but Jesus wanted to call them to Himself, just as He continues to do today.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 26 2006 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
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That is so sad. I'm struggling so hard with my toddler at Mass. I have just one, and at the end of Mass I'm just a limp rag. I wish people could feel how hard it is to be the parent of these young ones before they start making it even harder on them!
Will pray, Nancy.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: March 26 2006 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
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Nancy,
Please pass this column on to that dear Mom and let her know she's in my prayers.
Oh, how I can empathize!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 27 2006 at 7:44am | IP Logged
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Ladies,
Thanks so much for your prayers and understanding. Elizabeth, I gave your article to my friend last night. It turns out that she spoke with another mom at church after I left and they decided that all the moms with young kids ought to sit together - that way we can all help each other. I've spoken with our pastor about this before (the last time this happened) and he is very comfortable with that idea. He doesn't mind active little children at all.
My friend (Lisa) was surprised to hear that I asked for prayers about this situation, but she was happy to know that you're remembering this intention.
Thanks again. As always, your prayers and good thoughts are such a comfort.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: March 27 2006 at 8:45am | IP Logged
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Oh Nancy...we will pray here...such an act of courage to go where you know you will have problems..but I know Our LORD wants all the little ones there, even if some of them make some louder joyful noises than others...lol...or not so joyful, but I know to God, it has to sound great because moms with little ones are obviously there for GOD and not themselves. We will pray...
God Love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc
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MarieC
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| Posted: March 28 2006 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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Prayers for your parish. A priest told me that a wise priest once told him to always welcome the noise of children because it shows there is a future in the church!
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Marie
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 28 2006 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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Such a hard issue. We used to have an older German lady who would yell at mothers and kids (after Mass) and purposely sit behind mothers and scare them. She reduced me to tears once. . .
She's moved on to another parish, but we still have a few lurking around.
Praying. . .
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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saintanneshs
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Praying for your friend, Nancy. How upsetting for her to be singled out...makes you wonder how some people's memories of their own struggles with their children at mass can be so short? What a blessing she has to have you and other friends to sit with her at mass and unite! 
Prayers for her strength!
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Kristine
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mathmama
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| Posted: March 28 2006 at 5:19pm | IP Logged
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I will pray for this intention. I have a VERY active and vocal 17 month old. I am very blessed to have a parish full of wonderful people and led by a wonderful priest that encourage my dd's chattering during liturgy. It is the days that she acts up the most that they are the most happy. I don't know how I would react to such criticism. God bless that mother for taking her children to church even though it is a challenge.
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: March 28 2006 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
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MarieC wrote:
| Prayers for your parish. A priest told me that a wise priest once told him to always welcome the noise of children because it shows there is a future in the church! |
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Here's another column that shares how my current pastor handles noisy, fussy children. Works every time!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 28 2006 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the good wishes and prayers, everyone. One of the other moms in the parish telephoned last night and we had a long talk about why it's so hard to take young children out (there's nowhere friendly to go). We're hoping that getting all the small children into the same part of church will help. (Remember, we have only 45 families; it's a very, very small space.)
Our pastor came by this evening and I talked with him. He had been very frustrated by the noise during Mass (he said Mass while suffering from the flu, because there's no such thing as a substitute priest around here...in fact, he then drove an hour over to the next county to say their Spanish Mass). At any rate, I mentioned to him that my friend had been very upset because of the way she was spoken to (how's that for bad grammar!). He said he had wondered why she tried to contain her son's physical activity (he was in a sling for part of the time), and I mentioned that this particular toddler is vocal (really vocal!) all the time, contained or not, and that's why my friend is working so hard to show him that screaming doesn't get results.
Anyway, I also mentioned the lack of chairs, the papers and books, etc. Although our pastor wouldn't care if things were disarranged, I pointed out that a nursing mom couldn't sit on any of the chairs in that room to feed her child. He said that there were chairs in the next room that someone could bring in...!!! I offered the alternative that they could be brought in as part of pre-Mass setup, so a frustrated mommy with a cranky child didn't have to leave said child alone and haul chairs.
As you can see, I didn't get as far as I'd hoped to, but he did say, several times, that he'd bring it up at tomorrow's staff meeting. This probably means my suggestions will go nowhere, fast, because there's only one kid-friendly staff member, as far as I know.
So, we certainly need prayers, as well as guardian angels, to help with this problem. The parish staff meets at 10:00 tomorrow morning. Please pray that our pastor remembers to bring up this topic and that some positive action is taken.
Thanks again. You're really sustaining me this week!
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: For kindness in my little parish
