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kbfsc
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| Posted: Oct 06 2010 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
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I'm so grateful for your willingness to pray! Where to begin... My husband is injured and not working, and he's deeply stressed by our financial situation and the general feeling of inadequacy that he's battling. I think I've been trying to do everything and be everyone - and it's not working. We had a terrible argument this evening and I'm just sad and feeling hopeless about it.  I so want to be who God is calling me to be for my husband and children... but just can't see clearly right now or gather the energy I need to do it. It feels like a real crisis point!!
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Kiera
happy mama of ds '02, dd '03, ds '06, dd '09 and little ones in heaven
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Nique
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| Posted: Oct 06 2010 at 10:43pm | IP Logged
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Oh Keira, I am so sorry you are going through this. Count on my prayers. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight and things look alittle better in the morning. It's too hard when you are trying to be everything to everyone.
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 07 2010 at 12:05am | IP Logged
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Kiera, it is very hard to be both a military wife and mom and a homeschooling parent (guess how I know!). It's also very hard form an active duty servicemember to cope with injury/therapy. (Yes, my husband could commiserate with yours.)
You are in my prayers, right now and over the next few weeks as the two of you work to cope with your situation.
When my (Navy) husband was recovering from knee surgery, I really tried to show him through my actions that I wanted his recovery as much as he did (driving to PT, helping him with flexibility exercises, etc.). I also tried to honor his head-of-family role and make decisions with him, not on my own. He found it so frustrating to work with the doctors and therapists - making sure he had the same participation in family life decisions became very important.
It's also helpful to remember that our active duty military members are used to solving problems through action, teamwork and established procedure. Injuries don't work that way and (IMHO) doctors tend to dish out best-case scenarios instead of talk about average-patient expectations. (This is true in civilian life, too...just FYI.) Your husband may be feeling discouraged because his medical outcomes don't fall into the top 5 - 10 percentile of great recoveries. That is not bad, it is normal!
Please hang in there. Encourage your dh to talk to his doctor often (as well as to his physical therapists, pharmacists, etc.). Seek medical help if symptoms of depression begin to emerge (VERY important!).
You can work together on the budget, too, and use the Commissary to help save money on groceries. (PM me for some ideas...)
It's very hard for a man who's used to providing for his family to look at finding less-empowering ways to do so. Please consider seeking out a FFSC counselor who could help you talk through these issues on neutral ground. I know my own FFSC experiences have been very, very positive.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: Oct 07 2010 at 2:40am | IP Logged
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oh Kiera, I don't have good advice like Nancy (wow, she's awesome!) but I can offer my prayers for you and your family. and I will continue them. hang in there! 
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 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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mariB
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| Posted: Oct 07 2010 at 6:10am | IP Logged
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Dear Kiera, praying for you, your husband, and family right now!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Angel
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I can relate. Sending my prayers...
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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SeaStar
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Praying
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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stefoodie
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Praying, Kiera.
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stef
mom to five
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Christine
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Keira, I am praying for you and for a friend who is in a very similar situation to yours.
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Christine
Mommy to 4 girls, 5 boys, & 2 in God's care
Memories of a Catholic Wife and Mother
Pretty Lilla Rose
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hylabrook1
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Praying for you and your husband, Kiera. This sounds like a very touchy situation, and I'm sorry for your difficulties.
Peace,
Nancy
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robinhigh
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May Our Lady of the Rosary see about your crisis and bring peace, joy, and understanding in your family. May she show you what to do and say to lift up your husband and children and comfort them. Amen.
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joann10
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sending many prayers....
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Chari
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Kiera, I will keep you in our daily prayers, esp with the Memorare!
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Marybeth
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Praying...
We had an argument recently too. Maybe something is in the air...maybe there is more being stirred up around these special feast days in the church...I try to remember how much the devil LOVES when we are discouraged. He can certainly use it to bring us down further.
When I am feeling low lighting my holy candle brings such peace as I visually see a reminder of Christ's love for us.
God bless,
Mb
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Marybeth (Mb)
http://held-together.blogspot.com
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DominaCaeli
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Praying, Kiera.
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Carole N.
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Praying for you, your husband, and your family, Kiera.
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Carole ... in Wales
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Booksnbabes
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Praying for you and your husband! Our Lady of Victory, pray for us!
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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kbfsc
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| Posted: Oct 19 2010 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all so much for praying!! What an extraordinary thing to have sympathetic, holy women around the world praying for me and my family!
An update - Things are much improved and I attribute it in large part to your prayers! My husband and I had some good, honest conversation last weekend and moments of connection that have made all the difference. Our circumstances have changed very little, but I am marveling at how unity in marriage can really overcome so many difficulties. I am reminded that hope in the Lord and perspective are everything.
Marybeth, your advice to guard against discouragement is right on the money. The truth is that we have the Lord and we have each other. We can trust God with the rest of the details, and just rest in His love and provision. Oh, for my heart to remain in that place!!
And, Nancy, such wonderful advice from another Navy wife! Thank you! My husband is a reservist, so our circumstances aren't exactly the same as would be for an active duty type - but I'm grateful for your insight into the unique world of the military. I am, indeed, proud of my Seabee. 
With gratitude and prayers for each of you that have interceded for me and my family,
Kiera
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Kiera
happy mama of ds '02, dd '03, ds '06, dd '09 and little ones in heaven
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Booksnbabes
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Happy to read this update. Will continue to keep your marriage in prayer.
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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mariB
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Continuing to pray for you and your family and glad to this update!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: my family is in crisis, I'm afraid!
