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folklaur
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| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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wow, sorry to be pushy and ask for more prayers.
but, ladies....
...i need help. i have fallen away from the Church in my heart. there are a few issues that i am having the hardest time reconciling. sometimes, i think i would fit better theologically in the EOC - if i am able to hold onto my faith at all.
i feel like i have been wandering, lost, and alone. i struggle daily. my anxiety - and inability to attend church right now - only compounds the problem.
i have been battling against feeling like i am verging on agnosticism or atheism. and i do not want to feel this way.
please pray for me. and if you have any advice to share, i would be more than happy to hear it.
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aussieannie
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| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 6:52pm | IP Logged
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Laura, you have my prayers!  Remember that even saints struggled with trials that were similar to what you are experiencing, while everyone's situation is unique, there IS a saint for everyone to pray to knowing that they would have particular empathy.
I've just posted a novena to St Therese over in WPTTL, if you start tomorrow, it would finish in time for her feast. She is a very special saint to pray to, she was tempted to think that there was no after life and yet with her will, she put those strong feelings of the heart aside.
I know what it feels like to have your heart dictate something that you don't want to feel, it is a true cross and trial..I will remember your intentions as well in my St Therese novena.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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amyable
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Laura.
Many prayers coming your way too. As someone who struggles with anxiety and feeling like God has walked away from me (sometimes wondering if He exists at all) - all I can say is I think it is a function of the anxiety. I'm having trouble saying what I mean here, but because I cycle between anxiety and being OK, I can see the other side. The anxiety is a FEELING and a chemical or hormonal thing going on in your body. You cannot trust your feelings on things like God when you are obsessing/panicking/anxious. (ETA: I mean the general time of your life - even if you are thinking about it in a calm moment of the day, but were having trouble earlier in the week, that's still "anxiety ridden" time to me) Please don't step away from God at this time -- you ever heard the saying don't make major decisions when you are pregnant or PMSing? It's like that.  You just have to hang on and wait. (I've been "waiting" for years but do get glimpses of God's love/peace)
As to being more suited to the EOC, that I can't answer, but I know in the past when I have had doubts about certain RC teachings, lots of study has helped clear them up.
More and please feel free to email/PM if you want to talk privately.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 7:02pm | IP Logged
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Even our most famous saints have been challenged in their faith. I will certainly pray for you!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MarilynW
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Dear Laura - lots of prayers coming your way. I echo what everyone else is saying - all the saints had doubts and challenges to their faith. I always think of Mother Teresa and her "darkness" - yet how she was able to hang on.
Hugs
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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joann10
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sending prayers....
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trish
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Praying!
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~ Trish ~
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Mimip
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Adding my prayers for you, Laura
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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teachingmyown
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Praying for you now, Laura.
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Booksnbabes
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Praying, Laura.
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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Willa
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Is there any way you could receive communion through a Eucharistic minister? I think missing out on the sacraments is really a cross. That's all I can think of, but I am praying, Laura!
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Willa
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stacykay
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Nothing to say to help, except I am praying for you!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Mackfam
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I'm praying, Laura. Like Willa, I think the lack of the Sacraments would be such a huge cross. I wondered if you could ask someone to come to your home for spiritual direction as well as to offer you the Sacraments?
Many prayers for you!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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Angie Mc
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Goodness, Laura ...my heart breaks for you and the suffering you are being asked to accept. Hang on, friend, hang on. I'm off to bed but will ponder your needs in my heart and check in again tomorrow.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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MaryM
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Praying, Laura.
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Mary M. in Denver
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Chari
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I am praying for you, Laura.....hear Amy.
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Carole N.
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Praying for you, Laura! All the ladies have offered such good advice. Just persevere and know that God is with you at this time.
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Carole ... in Wales
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hylabrook1
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Praying for you, Laura.
Peace,
Nancy
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stellamaris
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Dearest Laura,  . I am weeping for you and with you over this very heavy cross. There is no greater sorrow than to feel that God has abandoned us, that we are losing our faith, that the spiritual place we are in is so very dark that we believe we have lost our way altogether. Our Lord experienced this very same darkness as He hung upon His cross, and you can unite your suffering with His as you meditate on that moment when He cried, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" Many saints indeed, as the ladies have said, suffered through such dark nights, and St. John of the Cross explains that such an experience is even necessary for us if we are to be wholly united to Christ.
Your questions about the faith can be answered through study and I'm sure many of the ladies could help you with these specifics. I'd be happy to help if you want to pm me. But the emotional dryness, doubts, and anxieties you are undergoing can only be resolved by choosing through an act of will to trust in God, confiding all you fears to Him, and remaining as close to the Sacraments as is possible in your situation. If you are unable to make an actual Communion, make a spiritual Communion. If you feel unworthy to do even that, remember that our Lord commands us to "do this in memory of" Him and that we all are unworthy. If you have stumbled into mortal sin or are struggling with an area of mortal sin, get to Confession even if you have to drive miles and take all the children.
Your problem is of a spiritual nature, and going to another church will not solve it in the long run. Persevering in the Faith, finding answers to your questions, and choosing to love God and follow Him even when you are in the driest of emotional desserts will bring you home to Jesus and restore the joy of your salvation. Praying for you.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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jdostalik
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Dear Laura,
Know that I am holding you close in prayer. I will offer my day for you and am lighting a candle for you. Hugs!
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: more prayers for me?
