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angiesherm
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 7:44am | IP Logged
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Hi ladies.I haven't posted much lately as things have been so extremely hectic around here. But, I am in need of advice and prayer right now. I have a neighbor, who is Baptist, trying to tell me that my grandfather who passed away is in hell because he was Catholic...here's the story....I was telling her how I was so happy that he had two priests praying over him as he slipped away and it was so comforting to him and our family and she just WENT OFF...very extremely hurtful. She has tried to push her religion several other times and I am just at witts end trying to deal w/her. I just don't know what to say....HELP!
This is what she wrote in an email to me yesterday after I wrote her telling her to please not make comments so hurtful to me...
"I grew up Catholic and my parents
are Catholic. It's not religion that is separating us, though. It is 18
inches. It's a heart issue and not a head issue is that getting me to
heaven. My good works aren't getting me to heaven. My church or religion
isn't getting me to heaven. I could still be Catholic and have accepted all
that Jesus did for me on the cross. But I saw through God's Word, the
Bible, what I needed to get to heaven and that was salvation (a time and a
place that I confessed my sins and asked Jesus to save me: December 11,
1989). It is all in the Bible. Even Jesus said on the cross "It is
finished".
That's just a small portion of what she said.
She is telling me that since he wasn't "SAVED" he's in hell.
Please help me figure out how to respond to this. I'm so emotional right now that I can't even think straight.
Thanks ladies,
Angela
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Angela in KS.,
wife to Dave, Mom to Brett (10)Ryan (8),Hallie (3)and Emily (born 6-19-08)
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Maryan
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I'm not good at this, but what is necessary in her eyes to be "saved" (should be "redeemed"). Is it accepting Jesus Christ as Our Lord and Savior?
We do this every year at Easter when we renew our baptismal vows? We are so grateful for His Grace that we vow this every year.
And prayers that someone would be this vengeful at such a time.
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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Martha in VA
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Angela,
I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this. As a convert to Catholocism, one thing I've learned is that I need to be prudent about how much time to invest explaining my faith to folks who are hostile. Although scripture tells us we're to be ready to give an answer for our faith at anytime, it also tells us not to throw pearls to swine. All this to say, if this woman is hostile and looking for an argument rather than sincerely listening to your answers, I would end the conversation for now. It may just not be the right time if she is going to continue to be so hurtful. Folks like this often aren't looking for an explanation from you, instead they are looking for an opportunity to prove you wrong. At least that's what my experience has been.
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littlemenmom
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 9:13am | IP Logged
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How very terrible. I was raised Baptist and when my Baptist friends ask me why my children havn't asked Jesus into their hearts to be their personal Lord and Saviour, I reply "he never left". I say this knowing they don't agree with infant Baptism, but without a full understanding of Catholic theology and usually no time to go into great detail, this little statement stops much more scrutiny of my Catholic faith in its tracks. If someone is in "I want to know and understand mode" then I'm very willing to share. When someone is in "attack" mode, I keep things brief.
I hopet his helps, and I'm praying for you...it must be awful while you grieve!
Kathryn
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crusermom
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Praying for you.
Mary
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Mary
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 9:59am | IP Logged
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Praying.
There is no "winning" this argument. She cannot see beyond what she choses to see. Pray for her. Treat her with kindness even in the face of these attacks. Carry a rosary in your pocket and grip it when the attacks come on. Recite it silently. Let our Mother comfort you in the midst of this pain. Don't read her e-mails anymore. Poor woman--if she would just take a moment to think about what she is saying and how much it is hurting you!--what unidentified longing there must be for the Eucharist in her heart, as I find it difficult to believe someone at peace could attack like this.
Take heart in the truth, and take this difficulty to our Lord in the tabernacle and to our Lady--her heart knows your sorrow! She knows the pain of these attacks!!!
If you feel you must respond, perhaps a short note to the effect that she please respect your time of grief, that God is judge and you have confidence in His mercy for your grandfather, and that you wish no further discussion on the subject?
I will pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you in this difficulty. 
Oh, and what a wonderful grace that your grandfather was able to have two priests with him at the time of passing! How very comforting indeed!
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Angie Mc
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I'm praying for you and your neighbor, Angela. I'm going to restate what others have already said much better than me...
Common courtesy dictates that we don't speak ill of the dead or attack someone who is grieving. Protect yourself from her. Say a prayer to St. Michael for protection. Do not engage. Do not allow her to behave poorly (even though her intentions may be good or she may be hurting or...)
Common courtesy also dictates that we don't give advice unless we are asked for it. You haven't asked for her advice on religious matters. You also don't want to give advice to her that she hasn't asked for. This is a more respectful and mutual approach to such sensitive matters.
Angela, God knows that you are willing to share your faith in words if necessary and under proper conditions. Perhaps you don't know what to say because you aren't to say anything. I am reassured by this paraphrase of St. Francis of Assisi, "Evangelize always. When necessary, use words." My example IS my evangelization. I *watch* my example (which is very hard work) and really try to be joyful, truthful, caring, etc. I also know that when the time and circumstances are right, God will provide the words for me to share with others.
Big hug to you!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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LucyP
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Oh prayers for you Angela - and I said a prayer for your grandfather's soul.
I agree that you need to set a seal on your heart where this lady is concerned. When I converted, a friend who I loved so much turned on me, she and her husband and family and church. Day after day I receieved awful abusive emails, telling me how much I was loved, but that I was going to hell, that I was damning my children, that the Pope is a slave of the devil etc. And eventually I just had to walk away and stop engaging with all that. If my friend wants to act as a friend again, I am happy with all my heart, but if not then so be it.
Some people are so blinded, and hating the Church is so much a part of their faith - so it was with my friend, to hate the Church is part of what shows you are a "true Christian" - that all you can do is be ready to be a friend, but not let them hurt you.
God bless you.
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ladybugs
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Angela,
I haven't read through all of the responses but I would think this woman is defensive about her own faith and views your conversation as a threat to her's so she attacks....
I would just pray for her...love her - maybe make some cookies as a kind gesture....
Just a thought but wanted to share....
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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angiesherm
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Thanks so much for your replies. I have told her that if she wants to be friends then she must not discuss religion w/me. I just can't take it anymore. This has gone on for several years...it's just too much anymore. I've been praying about this all day and I just don't know why they think the way they do about us. I really don't understand.
Thanks ladies.
God Bless,
Angela
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Angela in KS.,
wife to Dave, Mom to Brett (10)Ryan (8),Hallie (3)and Emily (born 6-19-08)
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Ruth
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Praying here.
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Ruth
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Carole N.
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Angela, I have had simular situations happen to me. I find that like you, I have had to limit those friendships. It is so hard to have to go through life that way. I will pray that you find peace. 
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mariB
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Dear Angela, praying and understanding what you are going through (being a catholic..then protestant..and then Catholic now for 13 years and NOT leaving!) I'm sure her intentions were good but I will pray for your protection from this kind of behavior! This type of situation is what actually got me really studying the catholic faith in detail 13 years ago!
Praying hard for you now...
Blessings,
Marianne
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Mackfam
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Angela, I think you have received beautiful advice here. I will pray for your peace as well as for your neighbor. Keep your focus on the Truth. I pray you draw great peace from that, the Peace that surpasses all understanding!
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Jen Mackintosh
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RenB
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Praying for you here. There really are no winners in this, rather utmost charity and forgiveness instead. I can sense how distraught you must feel emotionally, kind of drained in more ways than one for sure, but know that we are all covering you with a hedge of prayer to keep you covered. Hugs to you!
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Maddie
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What a beautiful and holy death your grandfather had! Don't let her ugliness take away the joy you have knowing his soul was receiving what we all hope and pray for at the end. Two priests! Wow.
I would eliminate contact with her, she is too blinded with pride to hear the truth right now.
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~Maddie~
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JodieLyn
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they (whoever they are) "win" because they issue simple challenges that have complex answers.. if you can't answer in one or maybe two sentences.. you don't know what you're talking about.. most often you sit there speechless because there's so much to say that there's no way to say it simply.
In this case.. perhaps directing her back to her bible about not judging others could be a simple defense.
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aussieannie
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Angela, I am so saddened by what you have been through. Everyone has responded with grace and wisdom and I particularly liked Angie's words..praying for your grandfather, yourself and your neighbour.
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: I need help,prayers.....
