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Jen L.
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| Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 5:37am | IP Logged
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I just received this email from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (dh's brother and wife). I am shocked to see that she is talking about "terminating". They are Catholic (2nd marriage, both annuled and remarried in church. They were separated after about 14 months of marriage when they found out they were pregnant. They are, I believe, back together now.
I have only met her once (I'm in Virginia, they are in California) and I also would love to know what to say to her! Please pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my words today as I compose an email response and give me any advice/words you have.
Thank you so much,
Jen
_________________________________________
We went to the Specialist to see the MRI results. The doctor is concurring with the abnormal heart shaped uterus in which the baby is on the smaller side with a large septum that grew in the middle of the uterus. He believes that when the uterus was formed inside me somehow the two halves of my uterus never merged completely and formed a septum. The left side of my uterus is larger, and the boys were on the left side of my uterus, because the septum would just push against my uterus wall as the baby grows and there would be no complications. This baby was planted on my right side, the smaller side, where there isn't enough room and due to the pressure of the baby the septum broke at the top. So there is a small space that "communicates" with the other side of my uterus. Somehow, part of umbilical cord and part of the placenta got through the top of the hole and is planted on the larger side of the uterus, which means the baby is getting the nutrients it needs. With the communication, this also allows the amniotic fluid to pass through to the other side of the uterus. So, the bay is getting the fluid as well, but he isn't sure if it is enough to be healthy. His arm and hand also are on the larger side. Right now, the baby looks very squished and appears to be healthy. The doctor is concerned about the ventricle on the brain that appears to be large, but not abnormal. He will do an amniocentesis on Friday to make sure there isn't any genetic abnormalities. He will take the fluid from the larger side of the uterus because it wouldn't bother the baby.
He said it takes 7-10 days to get the results. After that, we will go over our options again.
If the baby is abnormal, and due to my high risk health, he'd like to terminate the baby.
If the baby is normal and healthy, he'd like me to go on disability and keep me at close watch with weekly checks. He thinks if I keep it easy, the baby has a good chance of making it full term, because the uterus, even being small, will expand. The baby would probably be born with club feet and club hands and possibly a squished face, but all these things can be corrected in a short amount of time with some physical therapy and casts of the feet and hands to correct the bone structure.
Only time will tell. Please keep us in your prayers.
____________________________________________
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Lisbet
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OH my Jen. Storming heaven. I have a good friend with a bicornate uterus and she is pg with her 5th lovely child, granted she's suffered many losses. Please keep us updated.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Anne
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Jen,
I will be praying that you find the right words to encourage your SIL. Praying also for this special blessing that doesn't seem to want to give up! Stay strong little one.
Blessings
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Anne in TN
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KC in TX
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Praying, Jen.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
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guitarnan
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Praying. Wow. 
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Paula in MN
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This is so sad, Jen. I'm praying here.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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ladycarobe
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Oh, what a difficult situation.
Jen, I'm praying for your husband's brother and his wife, and for the baby!!!
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best wishes,
Ladycarobe.
mom to dd6  , dd4  and dd2  and pregnant.
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mama251ders
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Praying!
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Ruth
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Dear Jen, I will be storming heaven for this precious little baby.
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Ruth
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Mackfam
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Oh, Jen - this is so difficult! I'm praying for your words and especially for this mom and precious wee one! Come Holy Spirit!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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hylabrook1
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Praying for this difficult situation.
Peace,
Nancy
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Taffy
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I'll definitely be praying!
Just a quick thought to add - don't take the doctor's pronouncement of the baby being abnormal as solid truth. I can't begin to count the times when doctors have been wrong on this - baby is said to have problems and be born perfectly healthy.
Also, having a special needs baby, while challenging, isn't the end of the world. I am so grateful that I didn't know that my oldest would have all the difficulties he does (autism) before he was born. Raising him is challenging and frustrating but I wouldn't have wanted to miss the opportunity to be his mom.
Again, praying...
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Susan
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nissag
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Praying Jen. It sounds to me like she wants the baby, and that she's just relaying what the doctor has said. I think I would offer encouragement to keep thinking positively, and emphasize what a miracle this little one is already.
My parents' friend also had a bicornuate uterus and didn't find out until their fourth babe. All healthy and beautiful.
I'll be praying that she has the strength and courage to continue carrying this babe, and for her health as well. St. Gianna, pray for us!
Blessings,
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Nissa
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ladybugs
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Praying here, too!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
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LisaR
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looking at it from a mothers health standpoint only, if it is such a high risk, I would advise that she get second and third opinions (preferrably with a pro-life doc, check one more soul directory, or the tepeyac center in VA, for example) .
Sometimes in these situations, even the "best" of Catholics can get sucked up into the "mother's health" issues, and it might diffuse some of the doom and gloom that this Dr seems to be presenting if she can get a different game plan/view of the situation from another...
Praying for her. I too, know of a few moms with that type of uterus and they have had losses, but 4 and 5 babies!!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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many little saints in heaven!
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stefoodie
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Wow. Praying here.
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stef
mom to five
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KerryK
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Praying!
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Kerry
Mom to
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folklaur
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praying!
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joann10
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praying...
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Michaela
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If the results come back abnormal, encourage her to talk to another doctor. To me, the way the letter ends shares a bit her heart...she seems willing to have a special needs child.
Jen, praying you will find the words.
I'll keep your BIL, SIL, and this precious baby in my prayers.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Please storm heaven - Update
