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Chari
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| Posted: Oct 20 2007 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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We do not have much relationship because of mental health issues and other choices that have been made in the past.......
....she called today.
I do not know what to do with the situation......especially when my father and my husband try to protect me. They are very angry. I just want a normal mom. I do not know what God wants from me in this situation.......I have been asking him for years.
She is so alone in this world.....
Could you please pray for her that she does not become homeless? And, that she is able to pull herself up by her bootstraps..........and that she can heal the rifts with my sisters? And, esp, that her mother will finally come through and take more interest in helping my mom.
Oh, and for me, as I will now need to be discussing the situation with my father (her ex-husband for 33 yrs) and my grandmother. I do so wish it could all just be made perfect.
I am not sure if I am coherent.....I am feeling pretty sick today, and hormonal on top of it.
I know from over the years, many of you have moms that can be difficult to deal with....but, you still have some relationship with her.........who else is somewhat estranged from their moms? How many of us feel the void?
Praying for all of us, all of you. It is so sad, isn't it?
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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MaryM
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Praying for you, Chari and for your mom.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Oct 20 2007 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
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Chari, I'm sorry you're going through this. I've had similar situations with family, and it's hard to keep a healthy perspective. The relationships are so close!
I'll certainly pray for you and your mom.
__________________
Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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wamegomom
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| Posted: Oct 20 2007 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
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Chari, I also have a difficult relationship with my mom. Because we disagreed strongly about a decision she recently made (about her living situation) she has not answered my emails and I'm reluctant to call her. Long story.
Because being a very intentional mother is so, so important to who I am, it is even harder. I think I do understand a lot of what you are going through. I hate this.
This is probably the most painful relationship in my life and I simply don't know what to do about it. I feel guilty about not having the relationship with Our Blessed Mother that so many moms on this forum have, but it has always been hard for me. It's almost like I'm afraid to be close to her, and yet one of my favorite prayers is the Memorare.
I know my mother loves me, and I love her, but the tension in the relationship is palpable.
Right now, I'm reading a wonderful book called "The Mom Walk" by one of my favorites, Sally Clarkson. But oh, Chari, the tears I shed with each chapter. I want to be close to my children for the rest of my life, and I never want them to experience this. It was lovely today when my oldest ds (Andrew--you met him when you came) came by for a visit with his wonderful girlfriend, Jess. Even though Andrew is living about 2 hours away and Jess about 90 minutes away, they have been coming to visit on Saturdays, and I love that! I adore BEING a mom, but sometimes I just want to HAVE one.
Do you still have my phone number from this summer? Please feel free to call me if you'd like. And because I think I understand, I PROMISE to be praying.
Much love,
Mary Alice in Kansas
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 20 2007 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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Chari, I will pray for you and your mom. Be persistent. Ask God to help your mom find healing and a competent medical person to help her. (I know you do this already, but maybe this is a sign that you, and we, need to storm Heaven for your mom.)
I have a loving relationship with my mom, but I know the pain of mental health issues and of deception about them (my parents think I don't notice my mom's health cycles, but I can hear them in her voice).
It took me a long time to accept the fact that "normal" mom was gone forever, and that I was going to have to learn to love the "now" mom, regardless of her behavior. Fortunately she has found some really, really great doctors and they have made a huge difference.
I know you don't want your mom to be homeless. I know, too, that older adults don't always make good financial choices. There are times that I really feel like I'm the mom and have to step in and order people around. It is uncomfortable at best.
My dh has been very supportive (and I try to be the same when he has to confront his own mom about bad decisions). My mom has a strong moral compass and immense faith, which helps, because she can truly bring her problems to Mary's feet and she finds comfort and help in that way.
None of us should need to bear the financial and emotional burdens of others' decisions, but we all hit that "but it's family" wall, and we have to make prayerful choices when those times come. It's very, very hard.
We can't fix your mom's problems, but we can certainly pray for you both and for your extended family, and we can help you shoulder this heavy cross. I will pray very, very hard for you...I know the pain of realizing that you are now really and truly grown up, because your mom isn't able to look after herself.
Hugs from the East coast...
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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esperanza
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Chari,
You are in my prayers for peace and strength.
My relationship with my mother has changed quite a bit this past year. I feel for you..I don't have the great challeges you face, though.
God Bless all your efforts.
__________________
In His Peace,
Tammy Gonzalez in VA
dh-Johnny
mom to Tara-'85, Noelle-'88, Jeremy-'91, Elizabeth-'93, Emma-'96, Dominic-'99, Gabriel-'01, Elijah-03
and Jacinta-06
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joann10
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| Posted: Oct 20 2007 at 9:23pm | IP Logged
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Sending prayers....
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Oct 21 2007 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
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I am sorry, Chari! You and your mom, *her* mom and your dad -- you are all in my prayers. May the Holy Spirit guide you and guide your conversations and really lead your mother to His Will through all of this. Praying, praying!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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mariB
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I have had to deal with someone close to me in my life with this issue. It can be discouraging and sad at times. I will pray to St. Dymphna for your mother and also your peace of mind and confidence that the Good God will take care of it for you.
Blessings,
__________________
marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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DominaCaeli
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Praying for you all in this difficult situation, Chari, and for your mom as well.
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Taffy
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Praying for you and your mom, Chari. I know what it's like dealing with difficult family members - praying for God to give you strength.
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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stefoodie
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Praying for all of you, dear Chari. I'm not in this kind of situation with my mom but know many who do, including my dh. It is very difficult. Sending hugs!
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stef
mom to five
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ladybugs
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Praying here!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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1floridamom
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Oh Chari, you are most definitely in my prayers. You are such a sweet person and have given so much to the online communities that you are a part of; even though I'm not a big writer, you have been inspiration to me plenty.  My dh hasn't spoken to his mother in over two years now, in large part for similar reasons and her current husband. My dh is very philosophical about it, and, even though she has always been unkind to me, I feel the void of her absence. It is extremely difficult as we've taken care of her parents and said goodbye to her father when she couldn't make the time. It is very lonely and deeply saddening. We have a real opportunity, though, not only to pray for them (our parents) but to learn from them. This is not the relationship that I want to have with my children when they are grown.
Blessings,
__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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Chari
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I have been planning to come back here and update...and thank every one of you for your prayers. Some things worked out.....and I wanted to tell you so........but, today, serious problems have surfaced (re-??) and we must figure a way to deal with it. It is so hard when you cannot tell truth from fiction.
Please keep praying......thank you. Maybe beg Our Lady of Guadalupe to help my mom?
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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I am so sorry, Chari. We've been there -- wondering what's true and what's not. Never on anything important with someone close, though. Praying that Our Lady guides you all and helps your mother.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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trish
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Praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for your mother.
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~ Trish ~
Wife to Les
Mom to 8 Wonderful Kids
+AMDG+
Saintly Soaps
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ladybugs
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Praying!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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chicken lady
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Praying and begging for you.
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hylabrook1
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Chari -
Praying for Our Lady of Guadalupe's intercession. This is a very painful situation for you, I'm sure.
Sending hugs along with the prayers.
Peace,
Nancy
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: prayers for my mom, please
