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graciefaith
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| Posted: July 07 2007 at 7:55am | IP Logged
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This pains me so much. I love my daughter fiercely. She is so smart and sweet and kind and so lovable. I feel as though i am failing her as a mother. My expectations are set too high, so she is constantly falling below my standards. I hate to think she feels she cannot satisfy me. I'm too hard on her and too strict with her. I need to let go of my anger when things happen. I need to show her my love more, kiss her and hug her more, be more affectionate and playful. I need to start seeing and treating her as a child and no more than that. I need to smile more at her, tell her i love her more, listen intently when she speaks to me and talk to her more because she loves just talking. I'm failing. I feel as though i dont do any of these things near enough as i should be. She's my oldest and still very young and i think i put too much pressure on her because of that. Please please pray that God helps me to be a better mother. I'm in such turmoil over this. I feel so awful and i dont want to go on being this kind of mother to her. I need God's help in changing my ways. I love my girls so much and i want to express that to them better. Please include me in your prayers because i so desperately need the. Thank you!
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Blessed wife and mom of 3 girls, Sept. '01, Dec. '02 and Oct. '07
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Ruth
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I will be offering up our daily Rosary for your intentions. God bless you.
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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hylabrook1
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Praying for you.
Peace,
Nancy
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Marybeth
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| Posted: July 07 2007 at 9:48am | IP Logged
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We will be praying.
My girlfriend grew up without an example of a good mothering so she struggled as a new mom. She posted little reminders all over her house to smile,hug,laugh,read aloud,cuddle,etc. She said they helped her form those habits and allowed herself a time out when she felt her stress level getting too high. She also began her day with her children praying and reading Bible stories. She thought it gave them a good foundation each morning. She told me she got very good at apologizing to her kids and getting herself to Confession helped tremendously.
I am not trying to be preachy...just wanting to share some examples of how my friend overcame her sadness at not being the parent she wanted to be for her children.
God bless,
Marybeth
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Marybeth (Mb)
http://held-together.blogspot.com
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 07 2007 at 9:50am | IP Logged
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Praying for you. Start every morning with the prayer "Dear Lord, help me to love this child as she is and that she may be able to feel this love."
God bless your family!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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SeaStar
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praying for you... how blessed you are with your daughters!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Anne
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I also struggle with mothering issues. You are not alone in how you feel. I will offer up prayers for you. Just knowing that improvement is needed shows that you are a good mother and model for your girls. They need to know how imperfect motherhood is and how difficult it can be. I hope this helps. PM me if you need to vent or just exchange week moments. Try not to beat yourself up!!! 
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Anne in TN
WIFE to Brett (91)
MOM to Rebecca(97), Catherine (99), Grace (99), Stephen (00) & 2 Angels in Heaven.
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Mackfam
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Non Nobis
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I could have written your post 2 years ago. I was so troubled by it! I prayed fervently to the Blessed Virgin "Mary, give me your heart to love this child as much as you do. Help me to be a gentle mother." She didn't fail me! It's been 2 years, and I am so encouraged by the change. I attribute it all to the generosity of our Blessed Mother.
You have my heartfelt prayers. I know right where you are!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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joann10
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Sending prayers....
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graciefaith
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Thank you ladies so much!! I told dh about what i was feeling and almost broke down in tears. I wrote those 2 short prayers down. I will say those multiple times each day. Thank you again! You have no idea how thankful i am for these prayers!
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Blessed wife and mom of 3 girls, Sept. '01, Dec. '02 and Oct. '07
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Matilda
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You have no idea how incredibly brave I think you are for admitting to a struggle that many of us keep hidden. I cannot offer any more than the excellent advice you have already received. God bless you!
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Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11 , 10, 9 & 5 ) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
Waltzing Matilda
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SuzanneG
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I am struggling with these exact feelings with my oldest daughter too (age 6). You are NOT alone. Prayers for you, Graciefaith. And, thanks for the good ideas, Marybeth
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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stefoodie
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This is something I've struggled with for a while with one of my kids. Though I've improved much over the last couple of years there are still days when I'm not the best mom I know I should be.
I will be offering up my own struggles for yours. Praying for you and your dds.
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stef
mom to five
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Jamberry77
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I have gone through this with my oldest. Three things have helped me. One, daily asking Our Lady to pray that I'll be the mother God wants me to be.
The other two were: spending more time around other people's kids, you begin to see how great your own kids are! (Sounds mean, but it makes you appreciate what you have.)
Third: this dear son suffered a moderate concussion falling off a zip-line ride thing and I saw him babbling incoherently and I had visions of permanent brain damage until I found out he was okay. So, imagining that your child really could die tonight or tomorrow helps one to be more loving.
The fact that you want to change is a good sign.
Keep praying daily!
Kelly
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Cheryl M.
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Gracie - many prayers for you. I too, could have written this post and not just about my first child but all three. My expectations have always been a bit too high and I've prayed for years for me to love and treat my kids as Jesus and Mother Mary would love and treat them....as children! I've also prayed for patience with the many messes that happen in a household with children. When the koolaid pitcher spilled...I had to stop for a couple seconds and tell myself not to yell, (yelling would be so easy), but to smile and wipe and make more with a smile on my face encouraging that child very sweetly to be more careful next time. It's hard, but can be done and should be done.
Your daughters will be grown up in a very short while...let them be little right now. Many prayers 
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Time-Really-Does-Fly
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aussieannie
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Such blessed advice here Gracie - I will be adding my prayers to your intention.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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Lillian
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Gracie,
You're in my prayers, too. I sometimes have a tendency to have high expectations, too. My confessor is ALWAYS telling me, "Lower you expectations so you won't be disappointed!! And just hug and love them." Easier said than done. But its become my mantra!! 
"I think I can lower my expectations. I think I can lower my expectations ..." I'm sometimes afraid I'll lower them too much but that hasn't happened yet! I find that praising them and looking for positive behavior helps me and helps them too.
And Kelly's advice about hanging around other people's kids is good. I've learned to see what a typical 9 yo or 7 yo acts like.
You're in my prayers, dear. It isn't easy, especially with the 1st child.
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Blessings,
Lillian
Isabelle 9, Anna 7, Sophia 5, Kolbe 4, Catherine 2
Smithflections
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DominaCaeli
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Gracie, many, many prayers to our dear Blessed Mother for you!
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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Praying for you here as well.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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nicole-amdg
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Thank you for posting this (and to everyone who answered with advice also)--because you had the courage and humility to speak, many others with the same struggle, including me, will be able to benefit from your encouragement and wisdom and example.
Graciefaith, I will keep you in my prayers today.
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Nicole
Wife to
Mom to     
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: For me to be a better mother
