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Tina P.
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
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My husband's heart has closed to new life. Since my last miscarriage, he's been "humoring my emotions" using his words. But now he can't bear it. I understand his concerns. He will be 47 this year. I've just turned 40. Both of us have younger siblings who have brain issues. I have a DS sister and he has a slow brother. He's concerned that we will have an imperfect child or that he'll be too old to play or work with a youngster before too long.
I don't see myself as being overly emotional. I *do* admit to having suffered from depression for a day or two in each of a few months after the miscarriage. Our openness to life is direct obedience to the Faith and trusting in God and in His will for us. Besides all this, we are building an army for the Lord, are we not?
I don't know who's right or wrong or, for that matter, whether either of us is. And I thought that the original goal of NFP was to propagate, not stifle birth. Am I wrong? I'm a healthy person. My husband is healthy. When my mom had my DS sister, she had hypothyroidism. My husband's mom was unhealthy all of his life.
In the past, my husband's thoughts about having more children or stopping has fluctuated. Hopefully, it will again, but we *are* both growing old for having babies. Am I being selfish or greedy for wanting more? I think I'm going to make an appointment with our priest to discuss this issue. Is that a wise thing to do? My husband already said we should ... but I know our priest will lean in my direction and *that* might turn dh's heart against the church as well. 
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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JenniferS
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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Many prayers. My dh and I are in similar places as you and your dh. I did talk to our priest. It really helped. He told me that dh and I needed to pray a novena to St. Joseph for his intercession. Father said that we needed to know what God's Will is and not my will nor dh's. We prayed the novena. Now we are waiting to see clearly what God's Will is. It's tough, but I think talking to a priest that you trust is good.
Many, many prayers for you.
Jen
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
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Prayers for wisdom and peace coming, Tina!
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 1:06pm | IP Logged
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Tina -
This is very hard for you. Do you think that part of why your husband is saying what he is saying could be his own mourning for the baby you recently lost? Just a thought that came to me ...
Peace,
Nancy
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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Tina - I know where you are - I really do.
If your husband said you should go to your priest, I think he must be open to hearing. You should go. I really believe that peace follows obedience. God may plant a seed through your priest that bears great fruit.
Time for trust. You're right at the foot of the cross - I'm praying that the Blessed Mother never leaves your, or your husband's side.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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chicken lady
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
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Tina you have my prayers!
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ladybugs
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 12:30am | IP Logged
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Praying, Tina!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 12:43am | IP Logged
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Tina, I am sorry that you two are going through this. I feel that it is so important to respect our husband's wishes whenever we can. Praying for you both.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Donna
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 5:38am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
| If your husband said you should go to your priest, I think he must be open to hearing. You should go. I really believe that peace follows obedience. |
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I agree.
Praying for you and your dh.
__________________
Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
Jacob, Sam, and Regina with God
Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
Moments Like These
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Ruth
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Tina. I'm praying for you. 
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 10:17am | IP Logged
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Ditto from me as Ruth.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Jane Ramsey
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you and your husband, Tina.
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Chari
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| Posted: May 19 2007 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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Wish I didn't relate  ........keeping your intentions with mine.
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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aussieannie
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Dear Tina, I will pray to Our Lady, it might help for dh to hear of other men out there having babies later in life ...my husband is 10 years older than your husband, he is 57, and much older than me. But he is a blessed, patient father.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Husband's heart closed to new life
