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amyable Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 5:04pm | IP Logged
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I am coming to you humbled and completely embarrassed. But I know how fruitful are the prayers of you wonderful women, and I need your help.
I wrote a blog post the other day that kind of alludes to what is going on, but honestly, it hardly even hints at how bad I have started to feel.
I do know some of you understand. A day goes along fine, until something even a tiny bit stressful happens, like a child peeing all over the bathroom floor and not telling me so that I find it later by my wet socks telling me so! Or the toddler, well, being a headstrong toddler. Or any of the other million things ... Then, I'm either crying, or yelling, or both. I get snarky and critical and obnoxious... and it feels like my world is spiralling out of control. And with my particular family, something stressful is bound to happen by 8 AM ... and by the end of the day, I can't even make decisions about what dh should bring home for dinner (as evidenced by a phone call I just had ).
Like I said in my post, "luckily" I have been through this before ... like in every pregnancy and postpartum! So I know I shouldn't do anything stupid, and I don't get depressed about it anymore, because I know what it is (I think my PPDs were caused by me not understanding what was going on with this). The moments I feel good, I'm FINE, and sometimes a whole 1/2 day or so will go along that way. Then 30 seconds later, it's as if the good part never happened.
But still...I can't put my family through this anymore! It's coming to the point where I keep begging dh allow us to stop having babies because I feel so bad, and I know that is wrong.
I don't even know what to say here. I want you to know what is going on so your prayers can be specific, but my words aren't painting a good picture. I need help. I want a miracle! I want this to lift forever, so I can partake in my vocation again. I don't even expect joy, althought that would be wonderful. I just want to *function*.
Thank you to all you dear, kind ladies. I don't know what I would do without you!!
(oh, it is so hard to push *post*!)
__________________ Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Elizabeth Founder
Real Learning
Joined: Jan 20 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
Stop everything right now and go back and read the PPD thread in Loving the Little Ones. I'm going to link it for you but I wanted to post this response first. There is so much great advice there. I will pray, pray, pray for you. Katie is screaming for me from downstairs. I'll be back. You go read. Praying Hard!
ETA Here's the thread.
__________________ Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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MaryM Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005 Location: Colorado
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
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Amy, know that we are holding you up in prayer and asking that this struggle be lifted from you. Elizabeth has a good recommendation - there was much wisdom in that thread of ways to find relief.
__________________ Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Ruth Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 04 2006 Location: Virginia
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
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Amy, I will pray for you. I won't go into it, but I know the feeling of not being able to function. I will pray fervently for this to be lifted from you. I almost posted last night for this to go away. I will be praying very hard for you tonight. I'm so sorry
God bless you.
__________________ Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006 Location: Idaho
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
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Ruth wrote:
I know the feeling of not being able to function. |
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Me too, Amy. So much of what you wrote is how I feel/am during a pregnancy. My heart and prayers go out to you, dear one. Many
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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stefoodie Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 17 2005 Location: Ohio
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 6:08pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you, dear Amy.
And I don't know if it helps, but I have days like you describe, and I'm not even pregnant and can't claim PPD. Hang in there, lots and lots of prayers headed your way.
__________________ stef
mom to five
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Cindy Mac Forum All-Star
Joined: April 21 2005 Location: Florida
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 6:37pm | IP Logged
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Amy -
I am SOO with you - except for the pregnant part . Know that I will be praying for you.
__________________ Cindy - wife to Chris, mommy to my 4 sons!
Kellys Klassroom Korner
St. Anne's Academy
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Angel Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you, Amy. My house seems to be self-destructing right now, but I'll pm you when things calm down a bit.
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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SeaStar Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 16 2006
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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Praying here, too. You are doing an important job, plus being pregnant- you deserve a medal!
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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MarieC Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 19 2005 Location: Ohio
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
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Prayers for you, Amy.....and
__________________ Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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cathhomeschool Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry, Amy! I get emotional and blow up or cry over anything when I'm severely sleep deprived. I remember the last time... I had been praying for weeks for rest but was still so low. One day standing at the stove I cried out to God for mercy and begged Padre Pio for his intercession. And He heard as He always does, and He answered. I am praying for you and hope that God will grant you rest from this cross.
__________________ Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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JennGM Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 8:53pm | IP Logged
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Amy, I'm praying for you. So much is aggravated by sleep deprivation, and tying with another question you posted, for your family's sake you should probably wean the night feeding...just a humble suggestion.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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teachingmyown Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
I know what you are going through! I will pray for you.
__________________ In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Jen L. Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 18 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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I'm so glad that you pushed POST, Amy. I am praying for you.
__________________ Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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KC in TX Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
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Jen L. wrote:
I'm so glad that you pushed POST, Amy. I am praying for you. |
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Me too. I've been thinking of you since your blog post. Please take care of yourself.
__________________ KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Theresa Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 27 2006 Location: Minnesota
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
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Praying peace and balance to come to your system.
__________________ Theresa
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MaryMary Forum All-Star
Joined: July 04 2006 Location: Canada
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
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Praying and offering my work for you, Amy.
__________________ Mary
Wife 2 1
Mum 2 four blessings on earth and two in heaven!
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Cay Gibson Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005 Location: Louisiana
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Posted: March 30 2007 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
Praying for you, dear one.
Here's a hug...
__________________ Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Donna Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: March 31 2007 at 5:24am | IP Logged
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Praying for you dear Amy .
__________________ Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
Jacob, Sam, and Regina with God
Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
Moments Like These
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amyable Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline Posts: 3798
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Posted: March 31 2007 at 5:27am | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone! I am inspired by your outpouring of love.
Elizabeth, thank you for linking to that PPD thread. Something struck me as I read it - my moods started the spiraling crash right after my progesterone supplimentation ended(suppositories prescribed by dr.). I have a feeling that is implicated somehow. Not sure yet what I can DO with that information, but it is a start. I may look into getting more magnesium too. Doesn't chocolate have magnesium?
Thank you again everyone. Today has been good so far...because it is only 6:30 AM and dh is watching the kids so I could go rest. I couldn't sleep.
I'm off to find some novenas - getting out the big guns. I will include all of you in my prayers!
__________________ Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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