4Real Forums: Dealing with Frustration Tantrums

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Dealing with Frustration Tantrums

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JennGM
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 17702

Posted: June 01 2005 at 10:55am \| IP Logged

My son is 20 months old, and already displaying frustration and a temper. He doesn't get mad with other children. Surprisingly he is okay so far if toys are taken away or lack of turns. But he gets mad when he tries to do something and it doesn't work right. So far it's things that he knows he can do, but for some reason it didn't work quite right. So he screams and throws the things and lies on the floor. I know this is a reaction, but how would you approach this situation? I don't think ignoring is always the best solution, especially when flying objects are coming at my head. So far I try to calm him down and walk through the steps again and say that's inappropriate behavior, but then I'm wondering if I call attention or respond am I doing negative reinforcement?

It's just little things, like his Leap Frog Refrigerator magnets -- they don't fit in quite right sometimes, so he gets frustrated. He also likes to do buckles, but each one is different, so he gets mad when it doesn't work after a few tries. The latest was I took the changing pad off the table onto the floor. He lies on there and plays with the buckle. After the diaper change, he played with it some more...but was having some difficulty, so he threw the whole pad across the room.

When I asked my sisters, they laughed because they wished that was their only big problem of their children....

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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to

& ds1

'03 & ds2

'07
Family in Feast and Feria

Mare
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Joined: Feb 08 2005
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Posts: 357

Posted: June 01 2005 at 12:57pm \| IP Logged

Hi Jenn,

I can relate to this.

Here's what worked for me.

After having problems with a puzzle piece, I'd say to my dd, "Oh, that is tricky, isn't it? I can see why you are so frustrated. Here, let me help you." I'd show the correct way to put the puzzle in. Then I'd say, "Now you give it a try." Then I'd say "Let's do another one together."

Actually, I still do this but now it's with shoes and socks. My 3yo girls also love hearing stories of how I use to have a hard time with shoes and socks when I was a little girl.

HTH,

Mare

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Courtney
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Texas
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Posts: 796

Posted: June 01 2005 at 1:49pm \| IP Logged

One thing that really seemed to help mine when they were that age was to label how they were feeling. Like Mare said, I would say to them,"I can tell you are frustrated!" And then I would work with them to figure out the problem. My dd started using the word frustrated very early on! I think it also teaches them to verbally express their feelings rather than throwing a fit. I'm still having to say quite a lot to my 5 yr old ds, "Use your words!"

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Courtney in Texas
Wife to Mike since 3/94

Mom to Candace 10/97

,Christopher 4/00

and Connor 11/11

JennGM
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702

Posted: June 02 2005 at 12:30pm \| IP Logged

Thanks so much! This definitely helps.

__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to

& ds1

'03 & ds2

'07
Family in Feast and Feria

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