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ChristinaK
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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Can we talk about housecleaning/decluttering etc for those of us who are challenged in this area?
WARNING: This is going to be a long post!
I have always been domestically challenged. My mother tried to teach me but I was strongwilled and stubborn and refused to learn. When I got married I couldn't cook except for Hamburger Helper and a few things like that and had only a very basic idea of how to clean. Over the years, I've improved somewhat. I can cook ok now although I still would like to improve a lot in that area. I make my bed every day, wash dishes daily and keep up with the laundry now. BUT I really need to step things up in this area. My housekeeping deficiencies are contributing to marital problems and I've noticed that my 8 year old is very much like me. He never puts anything up when he's done with it, his room looks like a bomb exploded in there, and he seems be unable to remember to complete basic chores like feeding and watering his dog every day and putting his dirty clothes up. So I need to retrain myself and him.
Here's what I see as the problem:
1) My attitude - I know part of this is a heart/attitude issue for me. I just don't like doing housework. It's boring, icky, and just has to be done all over again. I don't like doing things that have to be continually redone and I find it very frustrating. Also, I am still very strongwilled and stubborn and I don't like to do anything that I don't want to do. So I think I need to work on this.
2) Clutter - I have too much stuff and my house is too small for the stuff I have. I know I need to get rid of some stuff and I also need to figure out what to do with the stuff that I'm not getting rid of. I have a lot of trouble trying to figure out what to do with things.
3) Knowledge - To a certain extent, I really don't know how to clean. People that I know that are neat will mention that they did some cleaning chore. I don't say anything but I'm secretly thinking, "Wow, it never would have occurred to me to do that!"
4) My Floors are driving me Crazy - We have laminate flooring and ceramic tile. I sweep and swiffer almost every day. I have been trying to mop the tile at least once a week plus wiping up any dirty spots as I notice them. 30 minutes after I sweep and swiffer it looks like I didn't even touch the floors. We have a miniature rat terrier. She has short hair but sheds like crazy. There is dog hair everywhere and it seems like I am constantly cleaning it. Dog hair is not the only thing on the floor though. On the mopping, I swear I could mop everyday and the floor would still not be clean. I will mop and then the next day notice spots. When I start wiping it with the rag, the floor is obviously dirty. But there's just no way I can mop daily. It takes too long to dry and I have to do the kitchen/dining room in two parts so I can move the furniture around.
5) I'm a piler - I have piles on my desk, piles on my dresser, piles on my nightstand, etc. I don't know what to do with stuff so it gets stuck in a pile. I can almost always find things but it doesn't look very neat.
6) My son needs training in this area - It's pretty hard to train someone when you don't know what you're doing yourself. We've tried chore charts but after a day or two the novelty would wear off and he forgot to check it. I have to remind him almost every day to feed the dog, pick up his clothes, hang up his towels in the bathroom, or to put his toys up. I have no clue how to get him to do these things without me nagging/pestering/reminding him to do them. I don't want to let it slide though. That's what my Mom eventually did and she told me when I was grown that she thought it was the primary mistake she made with me and my brother.
7) Time Management - I definitely spend too much time online. I also spend too much time planning fun things to do with the boys, etc. I bought a timer yesterday and I think I am going to set time limits on my Internet usuage but I am sure there are other things I need to do in this area.
I go to other people's houses and they're so neat and clean and don't even really look like people live there and I can't figure out how they do it. I've tried Flylady. Thanks to her I make my bed, do my dishes, and keep up with my laundry. But not much else has managed to stick.
I checked out Home Comforts from the library but only read about 40 pages. I knew there was no way I could ever do the kind of stuff she was talking about and the book made me feel like I was going to hyperventilate just reading about what all she did.
I have the Martha Stewart Homekeeping Handbook. This I like because she does tell you how to do things which I have found helpful. But it is large and she covers a lot of stuff. It gets back to the it never occurred to me to do that. I have never vacuumed the coils of my refrigerator and I didn't know that people do that until I read Martha's book.
I think I need to work on doing more with Flylady but I don't think that it will be enough to deal with all the issues I have going on in this area.
Suggestions, thoughts, ideas, commiseration, swift kicks in the rear are all welcome!
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Anne McD
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 2:32pm | IP Logged
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Hi Christina!
You're in good company!  My husband and I have had several conversations over the years about what we expect from each other, and I've gathered that he doesn't want the house to look like a bomb went off 30 minutes before he walks in the door!
I've likened housecleaning to climbing a big pile of sand. You have to keep climbing, never getting to the top, and if you stop to take a rest, you fall. The house falls apart. Earlier today, I picked up the living room and vacuumed the downstairs-- now I'm looking at two pairs of slippers, parts to a train set, a little chair adn a lego tree, all strewn on the floor. If I don't pick it up now, it will get worse. Blah.
My other complaint is that my kids have no respect for my things. The oldest, esp. He'll go into any room and help himself to something that isn't his, take it apart, spill it, make a web out of it (if its yarn, string or tape-- this takes up several rooms and he's quick about it!) and walk away to his next thing.
One big thing I want/need to do is declutter the house. I'm talking cutthroat, here! I figure the fewer things I have, the fewer things I have to pick up. One of the best books I've ever read is Organizing from the Inside out by Julie Morgenstern. Instead of it being a bunch of tips, she starts with helping you understand why you are disorganized, and then shows you how to organize anything.
As for right now, the little one is asleep, the boys are plopped in front of the tv, and I really should go back upstairs and finish picking up. I hate finishing jobs, too.
Sorry this was so long, but just wanted to empathize! 
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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JenniferS
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
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I cannot give advice, but I can commiserate. I, however, never really had a roel model to learn from. I grew up in a rather messy house, and we had other family problems that cused housekeeping to be one of the lowest things on our list. We did clean, just not very well. I was honest with my husbadn before we married. I told him that I was not a good housecleanser, and I also told him that I wasn't a very good cook. With only two of us at first, I was able to keep up on at least surface things so that the house wasn't so bad, but with each child, things have gotten prgressively worse. I would have to say that clutter is our biggest obstacle. Te kids and I do clena up every day, but by th tiem dh gets home, he can't tell. It is a sore point in our marriage, and I have tried many times to stay on top of things, but that sand analogy is a good one. I do have to say that having dh home for several months, recovering from surgery helped him to see that we really do work on the house throughout the day, but now that he is back at work, he has forgotten, and I know we don't do enough.
Jen
Jen
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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I'm not super organized but I've tried to study how to clean properly.
In my humble opinion swiffers leave a film and that film actually attracts dirt. As a former swiffer user I must say that after switching my floors are much cleaner. Home Comforts has some good advice about floor cleaning. I've switched to Murphy's Oil Soap and always rinse with water and dry the floor. The kids help with bathtowels that are now rags.
My method is to use Murphy's and scrub either on hands and knees or with a Sh-mop, then with clean sh-mop(s) I rinse with just water and dry immediately while the floor is still wet. This also creates a shine(buffing). You would not believe how much dirt lands on each rag clear up to the drying stage. I am convinced that going over it with just Swiffer juice or those "no rinse" type things is basically just smearing dirt with a cleaning solution.
The Home Comforts lady also has a good point about mopping with just water or vinegar.
Sorry to sound kind of uptight here, but floors are my biggest focus here (cleaning-wise  ).
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Philothea
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
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Swiffers leave a film? How is that possible? There aren't any chemicals in them that I know of. I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm really interested to know if my Swiffer is indeed contributing to the mess around here. Want to clarify?
I could have written the original post, so I don't have much else to say other than the book that has helped me the most is Cleaning Plain and Simple by Donna Smallin. It's an excellent resource.
Other than that, I'm just checking in so i can come back later and see what tidy people have to say.
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Erin
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 3:10am | IP Logged
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ChristinaK wrote:
| Can we talk about housecleaning/decluttering etc for those of us who are challenged in this area? |
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Well I qualify here. I have just spent a large part of the afternoon de-cluttering two end spots on shelves in my kitchen. Yep it took me that long because there was that much junk.
ChristinaK wrote:
Here's what I see as the problem:
1) My attitude - I know part of this is a heart/attitude issue for me. I just don't like doing housework. It's boring, icky, and just has to be done all over again. I don't like doing things that have to be continually redone and I find it very frustrating. Also, I am still very strongwilled and stubborn and I don't like to do anything that I don't want to do. So I think I need to work on this. |
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Sometimes when I really don't want to do something I think of Our Blessed Mother and try to model on her. Try is the word.
Othertimes I will set myself a goal. ie. when I finish cleaning out the fridge I will 'reward' myself with a mars bar (chocolate) or when I have cleaned the kitchen I will sit down with a good book.
Most often though we just have to bite the bullet and do it. It is hard though for those of us who didn't have the best role models and weren't taught self-discipline. Then again as you say you don't want to role model this for you ds and that is the best incentive. At least I know it is for me.
ChristinaK wrote:
| 2) Clutter - I have too much stuff and my house is too small for the stuff I have. I know I need to get rid of some stuff and I also need to figure out what to do with the stuff that I'm not getting rid of. I have a lot of trouble trying to figure out what to do with things. |
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How about you pick a room, cupboard or surface right now!! Go and throw, sort etc and then report back here  What exactly are you having trouble deciding about?
ChristinaK wrote:
| 3) Knowledge - To a certain extent, I really don't know how to clean. People that I know that are neat will mention that they did some cleaning chore. I don't say anything but I'm secretly thinking, "Wow, it never would have occurred to me to do that!" |
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You know maybe we could start a thread on this type of thing. Just 'how to' do certain things. We have talked about cleaning a few times. I know I was wondering the other day how exactly to get cooking stains off the stainless steel oven and wasn't sure how.
ChristinaK wrote:
| 4) My Floors are driving me Crazy - We have laminate flooring and ceramic tile. I sweep and swiffer almost every day. I have been trying to mop the tile at least once a week plus wiping up any dirty spots as I notice them. 30 minutes after I sweep and swiffer it looks like I didn't even touch the floors. We have a miniature rat terrier. She has short hair but sheds like crazy. There is dog hair everywhere and it seems like I am constantly cleaning it. Dog hair is not the only thing on the floor though. On the mopping, I swear I could mop everyday and the floor would still not be clean. I will mop and then the next day notice spots. When I start wiping it with the rag, the floor is obviously dirty. But there's just no way I can mop daily. It takes too long to dry and I have to do the kitchen/dining room in two parts so I can move the furniture around. |
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Can the dog stay outside? Can you mop around the furniture. Just a quick mop. Floors are continual, like the washing, they just never let up
ChristinaK wrote:
| 5) I'm a piler - I have piles on my desk, piles on my dresser, piles on my nightstand, etc. I don't know what to do with stuff so it gets stuck in a pile. I can almost always find things but it doesn't look very neat. |
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This is me, my dh says of me, 'have surface will cover'. See I always pick up the floor first and then I just dump.  I am trying to work on that by de-cluttering general clutter daily.
ChristinaK wrote:
| 6) My son needs training in this area - It's pretty hard to train someone when you don't know what you're doing yourself. We've tried chore charts but after a day or two the novelty would wear off and he forgot to check it. I have to remind him almost every day to feed the dog, pick up his clothes, hang up his towels in the bathroom, or to put his toys up. I have no clue how to get him to do these things without me nagging/pestering/reminding him to do them. I don't want to let it slide though. That's what my Mom eventually did and she told me when I was grown that she thought it was the primary mistake she made with me and my brother. |
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Please don't give up! For all of us it is continual training our dc it is a never ending job and we all get tired of it. But then the day when you look out the window and see your ds taking the washing of the line unasked you know it is finally starting to come together.
The best thing I have done regards chores with my dc is give the stewardship of it over to their father. Dh sits down with them monthly and assigns the chores, now it sounds so simple but for some reason it has made a big difference. Sure I still have to remind them to look at the chart to see their jobs, but it is like the dc feel that they are accountable to dh and not me and it makes them less whiny to me. When they complain about their jobs aI just remind them that dad set it and I hear now more, except wishes that the end of the month hurries up.
But the biggest thing is your self discipline and boy I can relate, this was me a few years back. Pray and when you feel yourself weakening ask for graces to get you up and going.
ChristinaK wrote:
| 7) Time Management - I definitely spend too much time online. I also spend too much time planning fun things to do with the boys, etc. I bought a timer yesterday and I think I am going to set time limits on my Internet usuage but I am sure there are other things I need to do in this area. |
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Guilty here though I have set myself an hour a day all up, the dc don't like it if I spend too much time online. And I always think about that examination where you are asked did you spend your time well
Gee I never even heard about vacumning your fridge coils, why would you do it? I found Flylady too exhausting. Sinks on Fridays?
Christina
Are you a list maker? My mil introduces me to the joys of listmaking.
Start a list of the big and little things that need doing. Then you feel a real sense of achievment when you can cross off something. I'd tackle the little things first so you can feel like you've done lots Oh and you should probably do the things that annoy you the most (or dh) so you feel better.
All the best from one semi-reformed disorganised mum.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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Angel
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 7:08am | IP Logged
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Sarah wrote:
I'm not super organized but I've tried to study how to clean properly.
My method is to use Murphy's and scrub either on hands and knees or with a Sh-mop, then with clean sh-mop(s) I rinse with just water and dry immediately while the floor is still wet. This also creates a shine(buffing). You would not believe how much dirt lands on each rag clear up to the drying stage. I am convinced that going over it with just Swiffer juice or those "no rinse" type things is basically just smearing dirt with a cleaning solution.
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We've been using the Swiffer WetJet because it doesn't leave the floors completely wet while you're using it. But you're right; it does not get them as clean as Murphy's Soap. (We have wood floors, btw.)
I'm just wondering how you get the little ones to stay out of the wet floors (and the bucket) while you're mopping? We can't gate off all our floors that need mopped, and my 17 mo. old twins are *always* around... they go to sleep late, get up early, and, being pregnant right now, I really *need* that afternoon nap!
I think one of the things (of the many) that most stands in my way is my inability to set up a real routine for the week, and then stick to it. Granted that with a lot of little ones running around, I do have to be flexible, but still. If we could just get the house clean and then *maintain* it, doing the deep cleaning would be so much easier. Plus, the jobs wouldn't be so huge every day.
But I have a feeling we'd have to give away half our books then, because we do pick up the front room every day, and it still looks like a disaster 10 minutes later. The babies like to unload the bookcase.
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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alicegunther
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 7:57am | IP Logged
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The most important thing is the clutter. Clutter is what makes cleaning and keeping house difficult, and it is magnified for homeschoolers.
I would say if you could look at your house and decide, what are the barest, barest essentials, and discard everything else, the problem would be minimized to a huge extent.
This being said, I haven't yet taken my own advice! : )
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 9:00am | IP Logged
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alicegunther wrote:
The most important thing is the clutter. Clutter is what makes cleaning and keeping house difficult, and it is magnified for homeschoolers.
I would say if you could look at your house and decide, what are the barest, barest essentials, and discard everything else, the problem would be minimized to a huge extent.
This being said, I haven't yet taken my own advice! : ) |
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I wholeheartedly agree. Clutter is what makes everything else so difficult to keep on top of (how can I mop the floors regularly if I have to move a ton of stuff to do it).
I got very good at getting rid of things pretty early on in our marriage. Dh was in the military and frequent moves (with weight limits!) meant we could only have so much "stuff". We have more now than we have ever had but we also have quite a few people living here.
Still, we are doing a major throw away giveaway this weekend. One of my sons has become a bit of a pack rat and today he is learning the freedom of letting it go. . .whether he likes it or not!
Back to work!!
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Michele Quigley
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 10:04am | IP Logged
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I just stumbled upon this from Large Family Logistics if anyone feels like getting whacked over the head . Seriously, there are some good points here, even if the situation is extreme.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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momtomany
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 10:56am | IP Logged
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Molly Smith wrote:
| I just stumbled upon this from Large Family Logistics if anyone feels like getting whacked over the head . Seriously, there are some good points here, even if the situation is extreme. |
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Wow, that post is powerful. But probably needs to be said. I'm thinking of several rooms in my home that need some serious attention!
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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Marybeth
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 11:31am | IP Logged
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I have used Flylady on and off since 1999. Somedays you would never know it by the state of things in my house. I knew nothing about keeping a home when I got married. Oh,my poor dh! My mil is a perfect housewife. I tell him his growing up years were the glory years!
I think the timer will help you...use it daily.
Declutter in small amounts so you don't create more mess and get overwhelmed.
Focus on all surfaces first and then do the drawers,etc.
Have the boys help...you schedule fun with them and now schedule small cleaning and decluttering times with them.
Menu plan...it really does help to know what is for dinner and have a crockpot. It helps me to have my dinner cooking at 9 am...huge sense of accomplishment!
Why not reward yourself with computer time? If so, you don't feel guilty being on-line and you will have gotten some cleaning/decluttering accomplished.
I take the parts of Flylady which work for my family and leave what I don't need or don't like. It goes against her philosophy,but it helps me and that is most important.
I have a long way to go since we are pack rats at heart!
Marybeth
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Maryan
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 11:41am | IP Logged
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Sarah wrote:
| In my humble opinion swiffers leave a film and that film actually attracts dirt. |
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I haven't liked swiffer -- thanks for the Murphy's Oil Soap recommendation Sarah! Sounds like a good plan to me.
And here's my 2 cents on when to mop: while my dh puts the kids to bed, I sweep and clean the kitchen and IF I'm going to mop -- I recommend this time. And it stays clean for a whole TEN HOURS!!
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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martinas6
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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>>>>>>>>>We've been using the Swiffer WetJet because it doesn't leave the floors completely wet while you're using it. But you're right; it does not get them as clean as Murphy's Soap. (We have wood floors, btw.) >>
Hi, we had our hardwood floors refinished about a year ago and we were advised to use a large spray bottle filled with diluted windex,it works great! we just spray and use a cleaning rag on our floors to wipe it down.....I have a bin of old rags and when it is time to clean all the floors,each child grabs a rag and it is done in no time!
Martina in IL
Sylvia 12
Evan 11
Olivia 8
Dominic 6
Julia 4
Gianna 2
Cecilia 4 months
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Martina DeRose in IL
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insegnante
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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I can offer mostly commiseration, not in every little point but a whole lot of it. Right now, my 2-year-old is napping, DH and 5yo are out prepping the vegetable garden I hope we finally plant this year, and I'm at my laptop. Oh yes, I just remembered what I was supposedly going to do after I sat down to "collect my thoughts" or whatever -- pick up all the kids' books that are on the floor. This is one of my least favorite tasks because it is soooo much a "just going to end up the way it was again very soon" thing. And a lot of times I let them sit for a good long while unless they're a hazard for someone to trip over. One son is 5 though, so there's no reason I can't be more consistent about expecting him at least to put books away when he is done with them -- except that I'm not very consistent about putting things away myself. Not everything even has a place for "away." So, yeah, a lot of commiseration here.
I find that I have to set a specific goal but take a moderate approach to fulfilling it -- not giving up at just about any excuse of unexpected difficulty or obstacles, and not wasting time fussing over the perfect finishing touches when moving on to another task or even just considering my work done for the time would really be the better thing.
Theresa
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 2:21pm | IP Logged
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what you use on wood floors depends on the finish you have.. we use plain water on ours.. and occationally a "mild soap" basically dawn dish soap well diluted.
Soap left WILL attract dirt.. if you have any carpet.. try cleaning it with just water or a bit of vinegar in the water.. it stays clean MUCH longer.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Genevieve
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MicheleQ wrote:
alicegunther wrote:
The most important thing is the clutter. Clutter is what makes cleaning and keeping house difficult, and it is magnified for homeschoolers.
I would say if you could look at your house and decide, what are the barest, barest essentials, and discard everything else, the problem would be minimized to a huge extent.
This being said, I haven't yet taken my own advice! : ) |
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I wholeheartedly agree. Clutter is what makes everything else so difficult to keep on top of (how can I mop the floors regularly if I have to move a ton of stuff to do it).
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You know, I thought I was a good cleaner & de-clutterer. However, when we were finished with the move, the old house was horrid! I couldn't believe how many dust balls there were all over the place. And I have hard floors! Horrors to think what it would be like in our new home with carpet. It's bigger but I'm purging as I unpack. Perhaps it would have been wiser to have done it before we move. Oh well..
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
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Sarah -
I love your reference to "swiffer juice" -- that's the same name we use for it
I am in complete agreement - it leaves a film that attracts other dirt. I still use the Swiffer, but just for its mopping capabilities. I spray the floor with plain water and then go over it with the Swiffer. That gets it close enough to dry that I don't dry it any more, just don't walk on it for about 5 minutes.
I think Jodie is right that what you do to your hardwood floors depends on the finish that's on them. I've had hardwood floors in past houses that I would have dried almost as fast as I wiped them. The ones we have now look great with the Swiffered sprayed water.
Anyway, tell me what a Schmop is, please.
The clutter making things too difficult is a biggie too. As far as kids' toys all over the place, when I had littles the rule of thumb was, if you can't get the whole deal cleaned up in 15 minutes, then you have too much, because nobody should need to devote more than 15 minutes to toy cleanup (this was my motivator for getting the kids to clear up their toys at the end of the day). Sometimes this would lead to my bagging up the excess and keeping it out of their way for a period of time. If they asked for something specific that was in my bag, they traded for it with something they already had out but weren't wanting to use just then.
Just a couple of thoughts that I hope might help.
Peacer,
Nancy
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Elizabeth
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Real Learning
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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Here's a thread on floor cleaning and here's a schmop.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
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The price on the schmop is very attractive, and I like the fact that it had washable covers. But, do you just wet the cover once and then clean your whole floor? It doesn't seem like there's a way to rinse the cloth while you're using it? I'm pretty sure I'm missing something...Can someone explain how it works?
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Housecleaning/Decluttering/Organizing?
