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msclavel
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 10:28am | IP Logged
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I lost a baby at about 5 weeks 2 years ago. It was my first miscarriage. I know I'm thinking about that little soul more because it happened this month. Still, I find I think about that baby at least once a day, every day. Mind you, I had a beautiful baby girl in September that I am madly in love with. Is this normal? It is not any kind of morbid or depressing thoughts; that is, I don't feel bad when I think about it, but the thought is there at least once a day (sometimes more). And there is a longing and perhaps a little sadness/impatience that I have to wait to meet him/her. I ramble...I guess I thought after 2 years I would think about this baby less, not more.
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Maryan
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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Maria,
I've lost two babies -- we pray for them every night and I think of them often. I've never seen their face and I long to do that too! I think it's a normal Mom thing. And I agree -- it's not depressing, I just think of them.
I named them after the angels (female version to make up for the lack of pink in my house!): Angela and Gabriella. I miscarried Angela in February three years ago.
And I love that my boys pray for our "angel babies" in the rosary!
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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JennGM
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 10:58am | IP Logged
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Maria, I've lost two babies, too. And it crosses my mind often. It's been especially hard this time of year...I had them both in March and April, and the rejoicing and positive pregnancy tests were in the winter months, the cold of February.
Some days it's sadness, other days it's just a longing to see my babies, and ask them to pray for me. Regardless, I do think it's normal.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Chari
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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Today is the feast day of my one miscarried baby. I named him Valentine  ......both my dh and I were sure he was a boy.
I had a real labor before he was birthed, and funny, but I went into labor exactly one year later with our next child.......who would not be here, of course, if I had not miscarried. For some reason, this dd seems to have a special attachment to our little Valentine.......maybe because she would not exist had he not gone first.
When you think about your wee babe, just consider it a prayer..........he can be such a great intercessor for your family. A baby gone ahead for the family is a gift for that family......so, I can say today, Saint Valentine, pray for us. 
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Sarah in SC
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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((Maria)) ((((and all))))
We've lost nine little souls, and I not only think about them every day, but I made a bracelet--not expensive jewelry, mind you--but I have a charm bracelet with nine little angel charms--each with the birthstone of the month he/she was lost. I wear it when I "need" to.
I think of them as being part of the Holy Innocents--and I ask for their intercession many, many times, especially when I pray for other mothers who have lost babies.
The Church of the Holy Innocents in NYC has a website where you can enter your baby's name in the Book of Life, and prayers and masses are said for these babies every day. If you'd like, I can find the link and send it to you. It was very helpful for me to grieve to be able to enshrine my babies there.
All of you are in my prayers today.
__________________
Happy wife to Tom and mama to Mac, 12, Hannah, 8, Rosemary, 6, Luke, now 1! and the 9 little angels that Mary is rocking.....
"What good shall we then do with today?" --Benjamin Franklin
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Maryan
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 11:53am | IP Logged
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Oh Sarah!! 
And thank you for remembering the name of the Church in NYC. A friend had given me the website, and I did the same with my little ones, but I couldn't remember the name of the Church... and I saved the link on our old computer.
And I completely agree with the help that it gives in grieving.
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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benedicta
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 11:54am | IP Logged
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I lost a baby boy at 13 weeks in December 2002. I named him "Adam" and I pray for him every day. Even though I have had children since (DS Luke in 2005, DS due April 2007), I think of Adam very, very often.
I think this is all part of being a Mommy.
May God bless you.
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Maryan
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Here's the link that Sarah mentioned (I looked it up to add to my new computer's "favorites")...
Book of Life at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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Lisbet
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I've had 6 miscarriages now, the last being in this pregnancy, a twin. Each one varied in how I deal/remember him/her, but I think of them all often. I think too, of the children that wouldn't be here if I didn't miscarry. This last one though is really hard for me to figure out just how I feel.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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momtomany
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I have had three losses, one at 6 weeks, a little girl at 13 weeks and our sweet Joseph at nine days old. They were all 7-8 years ago, but I still think of them everyday. And I especially remember them at Mass and feel close to them. At least I know that those three are behaving.
I'll remember you in our family rosary tonight.
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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mom2mpr
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Funny you should mention this. I lost a little one(in fact we called him/her Little One) at 13 weeks on 2/11-5 years ago. This Sunday(2/11) I wore a necklace(and lately I am never wearing jewelry) with a heart with three diamond chips for my 3 little souls--for some reason I wanted too. I was getting out the envelope for dd(who was born 3 months after this baby was due  and saw the date was 2/11. I started crying and tears streamed down my face the entire Mass. I could not stop. Of course, I had no tissues, people around me were starting to wonder about me and dh, at the end of the row kept mouthing "are you alright?" It was hard because I seem to be the only one who remembers the baby. Dh had no idea what was going on and when I told him in the car after Mass he said, "Oh." Sometimes this stuff hurts--a lot. It still affects me daily too and I am glad to have someone up there looking out for me.
Prayers for you. I understand.
Anne
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kristina
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 11:38pm | IP Logged
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msclavel wrote:
| I lost a baby at about 5 weeks 2 years ago. |
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Maria, I am so sorry for your loss. Even though much time has passed, I don't think it is strange that you think of your baby on daily basis. The loss of a baby is something that is just so "unfinished" in our lives. We never had the chance to hold our babies, see them grow. It leaves us with such a longing only to be fulfilled at the end of our earthly lives.
Chari wrote:
I had a real labor before he was birthed, and funny, but I went into labor exactly one year later with our next child.......who would not be here, of course, if I had not miscarried. For some reason, this dd seems to have a special attachment to our little Valentine.......maybe because she would not exist had he not gone first.
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Our second son, who was conceived just five days after my first miscarriage, has an attachment to our first miscarried baby. Since he was very young, he has said "Baby Morgan went back to heaven so I could have a chance to be born."
Chari wrote:
When you think about your wee babe, just consider it a prayer..........he can be such a great intercessor for your family. A baby gone ahead for the family is a gift for that family......so, I can say today, Saint Valentine, pray for us. |
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Amen!
momtomany wrote:
| At least I know that those three are behaving. |
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This gave me a smile tonight! I never thought of that.
mom2mpr wrote:
| I started crying and tears streamed down my face the entire Mass. I could not stop. |
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Anne - I am so sorry. I know that rush of emotion when you recognize the date and just find it so overwhelming. Whenever I speak of my losses outloud, I am overcome with grief. Somehow saying the words just brings the pain right back up to the surface.
You are all in my prayers tonight. As mentioned before, we have many very special intercessors praying for us, too!
Blessings,
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kristina
yesterthoughts
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Chari
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 12:48am | IP Logged
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You know, I think about my wee fella, just occasionally.....but for some reason, I have been thinking about his upcoming birthday (today) more in the last few weeks. I guess it is 15 years, now. wow.
I knew my husband would not even remember, he was not with me when I miscarried. I was visiting my dad.
Last night, I was able to quiz him and he did not remember, but we were able to share the anniversary of the experience..........and I even was able to grieve a bit. Never needed to before, really.
So, last night, I thought I would mention on the boards, about Valentine today........and, here was this post by Maria. Just the place to share. I hope you do not mind me sharing your thread with you, Maria. Looks like we have good company.
I wonder why, if in the past, I did not think about my baby a lot, why I suddenly have him on the mind a lot more now..........think maybe he wants us to use him more, as an intercessor?? Take my own advice, eh? 
We COULD really use some heavenly help.
I will keep all of you in my prayers. You are really special.
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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msclavel
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 7:24am | IP Logged
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Ladies, thank you so much. I wish I could hug all of you. Sharing your own sadness and memories means so much to me. I was very hesitant to post because I didn't want to open painful wounds for anyone. So again thank you
I think part of what I've been dealing with is that I don't think my husband gives a thought to the baby this time of year. I don't fault him for it. We are just very different with how we dealt with it. And I see now that as much I am as mother to my children here, always concerned with their needs, why would I not have my baby always in mind as well. And there is great comfort in knowing how perfectly Our Lord cares for my child. And ladies, then I move on to consider if I, a creature, cankeep this baby always in mind, how awesome then is the thought of our Creator always holding each of us in His mind and loving us perfectly.
And I wanted to share that I named my baby Isaac because the due date was the feast of the North American martyrs. The kids think this is a little funny because they wonder if they have sister named Isaac in heaven. But they pray for him always and they are the ones that remind me of the great honor to have a little saint in heaven. My son in particular can't wait to meet his "brother" one day.
I will pray for all you dear women and our little army of intercessors.
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4 lads mom
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I am with all of you....miscarried at 8 weeks and 18 weeks. We had a burial for our little 18 week boy, and I often think of that day. It was so painful, and I still have grief that wells to the surface at different, unexpectant times. One thing I take great comfort in is that I did my job with those two littles ones. We were open to life, we gave them life, and now they are exactly where we want all of our kids to be some day, in the presence of God.
I do not think it strange at all to think of these wee ones. I have looked in the back of the van sometimes, counting heads, and have a "strange" feeling that someone is missing....
Thanks for sharing, Maria, and everyone else...
4 Lads' Mom with baby due in Sept.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Coping with miscarriage
