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juststartn
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I'll be having twins (boys), sometime in May or June. I am already trying to get things in order around here, as DH is going to be going out of state for more than a month, leaving the 23d of this month, thru the end of March. Then he deploys the end of May, for a year in Iraq. So I *HAVE* to get things in order, pronto.
I've already got clothes, thank goodness (altho it surprised me, as I had thought I only had a few things in the "just in case the u/s was wrong" box I had built up thru my last three pregnancies (all dds). I have drawers full--not a problem, thank goodness!
We've already priced the equipment we'll need, so that is no problem...
But what I need is survival tips and advice. My dds will turn 7 (March), 5 (May), and 3 (April) before the babies get here. They are already trained to help, which is a lifesaver. But there are still all of those "little things" I won't think of til I am in the thick of it, unless someone tells me beforehand.
I am open to any and all advice. Suggestions....recommendations....prayers...lol
Help! I'm already 21 plus weeks, and we just found out this past Monday at my u/s. They'd not heard two heartbeats, and while I was measuring a little ahead, it wasn't massively so. The midwives never even mentioned the possibility...lol. So seeing two heads...four feet....four hands....lol....it was a little surprising (almost as much as seeing both sets of "boy parts" after three dds! LOL).
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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Erica Sanchez
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Congratulations, Rachel!!! 
I don't really have advice as I've never had twins, but I wanted to bump this up so others could chime in. Anyone?
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Chari
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Good job, Erica!
I am so excited for you, Rachel........and slightly jealous 
I have no advice or suggestions, not being a twin mom.........but, prayers I CAN provide!
Keep us updated!
Oh, yes, I have some advice: Take Saint Joseph as your dh's replacement while he is gone! What amazing timing! 
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Erica Sanchez
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Looks like your questions were answered over at your Fireside post, Rachel, or not....??? It's late here and I've been reading through the threads in order, saw this one, then that one...
Now, as I re-read, I think you may be actually asking a different question here.....
As I have no advice for you anyway, I'll stop typing and let others get to it! 
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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juststartn
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This is sort of a different question. LOL. I've already got three, two of whom will be hsing this next year (not that they ALL aren't "homeschooling"...but one will be K age, and the other a 2d grader)....not to mention dealing with the then 3 yr old, and the two newborns who will likely be in the 3-4 mos range when we start school up in early Sept. Having DH gone will be a further complication, somewhat.
Its more a "how on earth do you do it? It seems like most of the books out there deal with how to have twins FIRST..or after one other child (who is usually young still). Now, admittedly, my dds are pretty good helpers, for being only 6.5 and 4.5, at this point, but still....I'm going to be operating on low sleep, likely, not to mention just the day to day minutiae of running a household.
SIGH
I can use advice. Big time. What products work well? is there something I ought to avoid completely? Good recipes that appeal to little people who may or may not be picky (it seems strange, but sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren't...makes meal time REALLLY enjoyable).
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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Chari
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Rachel......I have not BEEN THERE.....but, without your husband present, you NEED help, live-in, if you can get it. Or, you will go bonkers being EVERYTHING to everyone ALL of the time....keeping in mind, that God never gives us more than we can handle Do you have a relative you can stand to be around for a bit?
Can you hire a older, maybe 20ish homeschool graduate, to live with you for awhile?
How about making a list of all the people in your world who could help you.....and then making a schedule where they all fit.....fours hours a week from 12-4 on fridays.......2-6 on Thurs..........etc.
Even if $$$$ is short, I think it may be $$ well-spent just for your sanity.
Have you found a message board or email list or website for moms of multiples? You can keep a twin support thread going under the MORE THE MERRIER forum. I would read books, keep asking questions, and SIMPLIFY your life. Can you get rid of all clutter in your house...........and even non-necessary stuff for awhile? It will make less to keep neat if it is not even there. You are a military family, so you may already be decluttered.
Think of everything you can do to streamline for the last month or two BEFORE babies are born.......and a few months after. Who will do your grocery shopping? Can you freeze lots of dinners..........how about the prepared costco food for a few months? paper plates
How about providing a closet of "things to do" educational or otherwise for your other kids, that only comes out at certain times......like when you are nursing two
Shawna should chime in here and explain how she did this with her non-bio twins, with kids almost the same age...
oh, I do not know what I am talkng about.......just imagining your situation
gotta go teach someone something 
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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juststartn
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Well, I am going to be seriously decluttering. That was already in the plan. I had planned the paper plates and cups, etc, since we have no dishwasher other than me.
There is no place to put anyone to live in. Three bedrooms, 1100 sq ft. One room for the dc (yes, all of them), one room for the homeschooling, sewing and dressers (two doubles already in place), and then one for DH and I. I'd planned the frozen dinner pre-prep stuff (done it before and it worked really well). I'm going to be able to get some help....just not sure exactly how consistent, etc. DHs family....mine will be able to do some, but with 9 SILs, I can get more help from his side (he's one of 13, I'm one of 3...). I'd planned on seeing if the teenager next door would be willing to come over and play with the dds for a couple of hours a day, at least during non-school months. They all take naps still, which is wonderful--a good hour or two a day...yes, even the 6.5 yr old. My housekeeping standards are already pretty "relaxed" and I do have REALLY good help, from the dc. They are used to helping doing things like vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, etc. I do still do dishes, some of the laundry, and cleaning the bathrooms, but honestly, they "get" most of the rest of the work done. Thank goodness. I'm definitely paying for the yard work to be done (August, in NC? Uh, no). I've got most of the hsing stuff figured out for next year--I just need to make sure I don't need to buy anything--I want to go ahead and get my purchases made this spring, so that I am prepared well in advance...We don't start school til Labor Day, so I will have some breathing room in there.
But I am working really hard to get things done soon--just in case bedrest becomes necessary. I've dilated to 2-3 with my last two dc a couple of months in advance, altho no preterm labor, just dilation. But with twins, who knows what that might mean?
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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ElizLeone
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Just some random advice that may or may not be helpful...
When I was six, my brother was five, and our next younger brother was 12 months(!), my mom gave birth to twin boys.
Knowing that she was going to have her hands full to say the least (three children ages 12 months and younger, three in diapers!), she assigned my oldest brother and I "our own twin." I was responsible for Mark. My five year old brother was responsible for Tom. All that meant, practically speaking, was that when the little things needed doing, grabbing a diaper, making silly faces at the baby so that mom could cook dinner, rocking the baby in the bouncy chair while mom tended to the 1-year-old, we each did it for "our twin." My mom offered that important role to us with such enthusiasm, that my brother and I were thrilled from the outset, and I think it helped create a very special bond for us with our little siblings. It also helped my mom in many little ways and kept us occupied being helpful.
In looking at your children's ages, it appears they may be old enough to do something like this. It's helpful for Mom and, if presented appropriately, can be really special and exciting for the older siblings.
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Elizabeth in Wisconsin
7 kids, 1 little saint
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BrendaPeter
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Hi Rachel,
Congratulations!
We had twins when our oldest 2 were 5 & 3. It was crazy for about the 1st 3 weeks - with feeding them - but that was it! The twins played so well together that in ways it was much easier than with 1!
Feel free to pm me with any questions!
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Brenda (mom to 6)
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juststartn
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Oh yeah. Definitely planning on something like that already. LOL. They are so excited about it--they had been praying for a new baby even before DH returned from Afghanistan last March, so to find out God had answered their prayers, and THEN that He gave us "the bonus plan" (lol), wellllll, it's very exciting.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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MichelleW
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Funny, I can't hardly remember that stage...
I LOVE Elizabeth's suggestion. I heard a mom of 10 describe a method much like that while in a waiting room once. The kids that were with her seemed to be very enthusiastic about it.
Don't just plan ahead for dinners. Keep cubed cheese in the frig, muffins in the freezer, fruit and veggies on hand. That way, even if you get busy there is always something nutritious to just grab. If you designate the deli drawer for the kids, then they can help themselves to anything in the deli drawer when it is time for breakfast, snack or lunch, and you can check on them when you have a minute.
I did everything in three's. When I fed one, they all got fed (within reason). When I changed one they all got changed. When I bathed one they all got a bath (at the same time). Dh used to call me Sergeant Mom. I always lined them up and they got used to waiting their turn. They knew they would all have shoes tied, coats zipped, etc. eventually. This helped so much. No one whined about needing something so I didn't get distracted from making sure we were totally set.
Keep your diaper bag stocked and ready to go at all times. Don't try to repack just before going somewhere. Keep a basket near the door of things you want to remember to take on your next trip (like library books that don't fit into a diaper bag).
In addition to bibs, I kept those little clips that hold nametags onto clothes in my bag. That way, if we ran through our bibs, I still could turn any napkin into a bib.
Keep a tub of wipes in the car, another in your bag. Do not sabotage these. Keep another in the bedroom.
Getting into and out of the car was hard. I taught my kids to stand on the white line beside the car in the parking lot (toes on the line and FREEZE) while I struggled with belts and buckles. Obedience in the parking lot is essential.
One thing (I know this is going to sound really random) that helped my piece of mind (even though dh thought I was crazy). I dressed my kids all alike whenever we went out. People would always notice us right away. The odd time or two (actually three--I can't believe I'm admitting this) that I lost a child, the child was immediatley found by people who recognized the clothing as part of our "pack." It just made me feel more comfortable that I was enlisting extra eyes by coordinating our clothes.
I know you mentioned family, but I couldn't tell if they were close by? You might find out if your church has a grandparents group. Our church has a group of grandparents who "stand in" for families whose natural grandparents are far away. A friend of mine has her "grandparent" come every Wednesday morning at 8AM while she goes grocery shopping, etc. If she's had a bad night, she just stays in bed and the "grandma" does her usual Wednsday morning kid routine.
Laundry!! If you can, in the summer, keep them in diapers without other clothing. Either way, make a laundry plan NOW.
Plan to spend time with your older girls individually or with just the older two away from babies. (You probably knew that already...)
My brain is so fuzzy from that time. I really can't remember much...
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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MichelleW
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Oh, and I can't believe I didn't mention this first Pray together. I can't tell you how much this helps.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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juststartn
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Thanks Michelle!
I've got some good recipes for healthy muffins that work well from the freezer, so I was planning on loads of those. The oldest is also able to serve up cereal as needed (my first trimester was a real lu-lu).
Family is scattered--most of DHs is in KS and parts west. Mine is in SC and GA (I'm in NC). But my family won't be able to do much--one sister is getting married in Oct, and won't be taking any time off before then, since she's had to take time off for medical issues in the not-too-distant past. My other sister is a single parent via divorce. My parents both work, and my mom won't be able to take off more than a week without serious backlog repercussions (and she can't hand her work off to any one else--she has a case load of almost 2000 cases--she does child support collection in my home county, dealing with out-of-state non-custodial parents--two court systems, etc. It's ugly).
I have a few friends locally, but most of them are in similar shape. One (the main one) is having her fifth via a csec in March...and her DH is deployed already, and will be gone for a year, like mine will be once he goes. We'll have ten dc ages 7 and under between the two of us. So her help will be extremely limited. I'm contacting the parish ladies council, and have already gotten some contacts with the Legion of Mary (some of whom are here in town--I go to a parish in a town 45 min away from home). I've missed Mass the last two weeks--once cause I was sick--a chest cold, and that was before the u/s anyway, and this last week, as a massively nasty stomach flu is raging in the area, and I'm trying to avoid it at all possible. I don't know how long I want to miss Mass for that reason, since the hsing keeps me from hearing alot of the 'sickness grapevine' from the public schools, lol. But I don't want to go back and catch it...one pregnant woman has already ended up in the hospital for two days....Something I definitely don't need....
I'm already praying hard. My rosary novena is going well, but I've been trying to say an extra rosary a day so that I can also ask for OL's intercession on behalf of my dc--all of them.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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ElizLeone
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I just love all of Michelle's advice. I'm going to take it to heart, and I don't have twins!
Regarding the bucket of wipes in the van, another in the bedroom, etc.... Around here, we get out the big black Sharpie marker and label each tub of wipes. One is "upstairs," one is "downstairs," one is "van." It sounds so silly, but when you have multiple kids and multiple people changing diapers, it's amazing how fast things can disappear and how you can come up short at the most inconvenient times.
That's not twin advice per se, but just one of those big family tips that works for us.
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Elizabeth in Wisconsin
7 kids, 1 little saint
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Our Adoption
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MichelleW
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Rachel,
I'm sure you are praying hard LOL. What I meant was to pray WITH your kids because (and you probably already know this) when they hear your requests I think it makes it easier for them to be supportive. I also parented (though not as many as you) while dh was gone, and some days I just needed to sit down and pray WITH them and it fostered the feeling of "we are all in this together."
Something I thought of when I read your post, one of my dearest friends also had her dh gone at the same time. We ended up getting together for dinner almost every night. We swapped houses. It helped so much. I'm not sure exactly why it helped. We were still just two women with seven kids between us, but knowing that I was getting together with another adult almost every evening, and that I was only responsible for dinner every other night...well, it made a huge difference. When I got to her house she would have dinner on the table and my kids would sit down. She'd feed all the kids and I would clean up her kitchen or start her laundry, or just roam the house looking for ways to bless her. Then we would send the kids to play and she and I would sit down and eat and talk. We would clean up together, I'd pack up the kids and go home. The next day, I'd throw something in the crockpot and we'd do it here. If one of needed to go to the grocery store one would go after dinner while the kids were playing. We just helped each other and loved each other. We became close to each other's kids as well.
God bless you. What a grand adventure!
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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juststartn
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ElizLeone wrote:
I just love all of Michelle's advice. I'm going to take it to heart, and I don't have twins!
Regarding the bucket of wipes in the van, another in the bedroom, etc.... Around here, we get out the big black Sharpie marker and label each tub of wipes. One is "upstairs," one is "downstairs," one is "van." It sounds so silly, but when you have multiple kids and multiple people changing diapers, it's amazing how fast things can disappear and how you can come up short at the most inconvenient times.
That's not twin advice per se, but just one of those big family tips that works for us. |
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Oh yes. Already have the van, bag, house containers of wipes, lol. Of course, I think I am going to have to upgrade the size of the packaging, lol. Going from one dc to two needing them, welllll....lol.
and I know what you ladies mean about praying with the dc....and making sure that they hear ME praying for my needs--if only so that they keep aware that mommy has needs as well...and that Mommy doesn't just say "turn to God", she also DOES it.
Of course, these two are hearing the rosary two-three times a day...maybe some of that will soak in in vitro, lol.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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juststartn
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Oh, my friend lives a good 35-40 minutes away, so just packing up and moving isn't like going around the corner. LOL. It'd actually take something more...not to mention just having space for everyone...lol
But it is certainly something we have joked about, from time to time.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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alicegunther
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What fabulous news, Rachel! I am so happy for you!
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Love, Alice
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Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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ShawnaB
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Rachel,
I just have to say that I got a good chuckle when I read your announcement of twin coming on the heels of your post "when dh says no more children..."! My dh said "no more" after the birth of dd#3, and within one week, we were asked to adopt ds#4! Then, God showed him SO clearly that we were to say yes to the adoption, it was seriously like writing on the wall. Anyway, God certainly must have a sense of humor!
Just a few suggestions from my recent experience...
The most valuable help for me was at night. Hopefully your "real" twins will quickly develop a compatible nighttime waking and feeding pattern. Since my babies were 10 weeks apart, they never did wake at the same times in the night. Without night help, I would have been up all night long.
A daily feeding/changing/sleeping schedule had never been more important than with 2 babies.
I kept a list of household chores to be done in a week, and a brief how-to. I posted my list at the beginning of the week, so if "help" arrived, they could refer to the list and check things off as they went.
And most importantly, (and I am STILL learning this!) when God gives you multiples, you must be open to seeing His new plan for your family. It is extremely important to totally accept the limitations that come along with these blessings, and not dwell on they way school could be, or the house could be, or the yard could be. There will be time for all of that much, much, later.
I had planned to start kindergarten with a bang for ds5 on September 6th, the day after labor day. I had planned, all my duckies were in a row, and I had a VISION of how school would look in our home.
Ds was born September 5th, Labor Day. That vision has never been realized. That vision was not God's vision. And His vision for our family has been more beautiful than I every could have imagined.
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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BrendaPeter
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Hi Rachel,
I dug up this old thread from when Mary Ellen was expecting her twins.
Hope it helps!
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Topic: Advice for having twins after other dc?
