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MrsKey
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 9:43am | IP Logged
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Obesity has become so prevalent in our society that I wonder if people who call my daughter "skinny" or "really thin" don't have a skewed perception of what a healthy weight is.
I struggle with morbid obesity and I am currently working on my weight (I've lost 55 pounds so far). So I am, in some ways sensitive to perceptions of body weight.
Seeing many people here describe their children as "skinny" and hearing that others have been concerned over their children's weight ... it made me wonder.
Are our children really "too skinny" or even skinny at all? Or are they a healthy weight but perceived as "skinny" because our society has come to accept a certain standard as being "healthy" and "normal" even if that standard is skewed?
For instance my dd is 4'9.5" and weighs 80 pounds. She is very leanly muscled - but when you see her stomach she has 6 pack abs (from her normal activities). but she looks "skinny." So I calculated her BMI on a site that calculates them for children and teens and her BMI is 17.0 and is in the 44th percentile for female children of her age. Perfectly healthy.
Yet others say, "She's so skinny." Admittedly these are mostly people whose children are heavier (or even obese). So I wonder if part of this is the perception of our society that they don't understand what a healthy weight looks like because they're confused by the conflicting images of the waif-look and anorexic models and stars on the one hand and the rising number of overweight and obese "real" people on the other.
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Carole
Wife to Tom since '94 and mom to Bree since '96
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Betsy
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 10:02am | IP Logged
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+JMJ+
I think perception and jealousy has a lot to do with it. I have a lot of personal experience to feel this way.
I have a cousin who has always been very thin and she is 5'9"! Her weight is purely genetic. My Mother, her Mother, my brother are all built the same way. HOWEVER, people are ALWAYS making comments about her being anorexic, and such. She is very healthy and eats well and is just thin (even after three children!).
Also, I have two boys 19 months apart. The oldest is thin (taking after my family) and average height. My other boy is huge....off the growth charts! He is not fat, but just a very tall, solid boy. People MUST make a comment when they see them together. And whether it is verbally spoken or just implied, you know they "approve" of the big boy and think my oldest is sub par. These comments seemed to happen even when they were just babies!
In conclusion, I do think there is a bias against "skinny people". Not that vanity should be our concern, but being a healthy weight should. But, people today don't really know what this is. I really got an appreciation for this when I tried to find some vintage patterns from the 50's to make. My current waist size wasn't produce (at least very readily) and most of my peers would say I look fine (but, honestly, I should be down about 20lbs.!)
Well that's my 2 cents....
Betsy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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We're quick to let our children know that they're healthy, that they're eating the right amount.. but some of them are very tiny (skinny). My oldest girl is approx. 4'4" and weighs between 55 and 60 pounds. She'll be 10 in about a month and that puts her between the 5th and 10th percentiles for both height and weight.. which is pretty small. We have one other child build like that as well.. the others are on the small side of average.. and all of my child go through growth spurts so that you can see them getting a bit chubby and then thinning out as they get taller. So at any point they may be a bit more filled out or more skinny.. even to looking a bit boney.
I have talked about what's *normal* with my oldest.. pointing out people we know.. things like pointing out that a good healthy thin but built more roundly teen we know isn't fat.. but it would be bad if she was thin like another girl we know who's whole family is small and very slender. And she quickly picked up the idea "but her mom is ________" yep exactly, people are supposed to be in different sizes and shapes but they should also be healthy and active. (which these girls all were)
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Bridget
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
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All my babies, except one, have had rolls on their rolls while nursing. Then they get to be tall and thin. Either way I have gotten criticism from well-meaning old ladies in grocery stores. 
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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PDyer
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 4:02pm | IP Logged
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My son is about 4'10" and 72/73 pounds. Probably about 75%ile in height and 30-40 in weight, if memory serves from his last physical six months ago. He is very thin. I buy him slim pants with adjustable waist and sometimes those are balloon-ish on him. I can't tell you how many people have approached me saying there's something wrong with him, why is he so thin, don't you feed that boy, etc. I really don't like it when these comments are made right in front of him. 
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stacykay
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 4:34pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
| All my babies, except one, have had rolls on their rolls while nursing. Then they get to be tall and thin. Either way I have gotten criticism from well-meaning old ladies in grocery stores. |
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My 16yods was 31 lbs. at a year. CHUBBY! And, I too, got much criticism about his weight. Even though he looked chubby, his height and weight on the "growth charts" have always matched perfectly. He is now 6'5" and weighs 185 lbs. Not exactly chubby anymore (I just loved squeezing those chubby little thighs!)
I wondered the same thing (our perceptions of weight,) when another mom had posted about the neighbor and her thin children and protective services.
Congratulations on your weight loss, btw. I, too, am struggling, and know how incredibly hard the pounds are to lose, once they have been gained!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Martha
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 5:24pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
| All my babies, except one, have had rolls on their rolls while nursing. Then they get to be tall and thin. Either way I have gotten criticism from well-meaning old ladies in grocery stores. |
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That's precisely what all of mine, except our 2nd born, have been like. Nice chunky theighs and no necks until they start walking (do they ever walk? seems like they skip that and go straight to running!). Combined with the growth spurt they all seem to get at about that time and they seem to suddenly thin out.
I do think americans have a very warped sense of what healthy is. Everything is compared to what the "average" or majority is, which is silly because average/majority does not make something healthy, natural, or normal. If you visit an assylum does that make YOU the crazy person because you are not like the majority of those around you? Does it make those inhabitants normal, natural, or healthy?  
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Martha
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: "Skinny" kids ... I wonder
