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doris
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 4:46pm | IP Logged
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I hate to raise a topic which is always dragged up by people objecting to home ed, but here goes. Sorry for the length and waffle.
There are plenty of groups and activities for home educated children in London. We go to a couple of groups that meet fortnightly, and occasionally go along to trips out as well. The children go to some local 'after school' activities, but haven't really made friends through them (and I've felt like a pariah as soon as I've told them other mothers that we're home educating).
The problem is that these groups are very secular, and I find the behaviour of some if not most of the children to be very difficult. The parents don't believe in any sort of discipline or direction *at all* so certain of the children run around fighting or playfighting all the time, and woe betide anyone who gets in their way. So the other day in a soft play area, one of these kids piled on top of eldest dd. I immediately called out 'No! Don't be rough to her!' and the boy's mother told me off for 'labelling' him and not being specific...
There have been other incidents which I won't bore you with, but I'm left with the feeling that I don't want my children to be spending time with these other children and picking up their values or lack of them. On the other hand, there are no Christian groups that I know of -- or at least, the only one I've heard of wouldn't consider that we were Christians 
We have met a few Catholic families since we moved 6 months ago, but not loads. I don't want to subject the children to complete isolation, but I also don't want to hang out with these children who are, ironically, completely unsocialised.
What to do? I am vaguely considering setting up my own Catholic home ed group (I know of a total of four potential families, so I'm hesitant!) but that's probably a whole other thread... What do you do, and is it 'enough'?
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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Jeanna
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
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You know, I was just discussing this with a friend via e-mail the other day. I personally think socialization is over rated. I think the best and most natural way to socialize a child is in the family environment. Here's part of my e-mail:
I completely agree that schools breed negative socialization just from my experiences growing up. That was the biggest reason I wanted to homeschool. Marie Bellet said she homeschooled her son for a year and she felt like she got her son back. You know, one homeschooling book pointed out that it is completely unnatural and artificial to put your child in a room full of 20 peers. I have been thinking about that and wonder if that (along with putting the elderly in nursing homes) is what has lead to the relatively recent phenomenon of the generation gap. Children are not learning how to relate with people outside of their own peer groups. Except for with their parents who they see as the enemy for not letting them wear skimpy clothes and date at age 10.
I'm not advocating being a family of hermits or anything like that, although I too do not want my children spending time with secular or out of control children. I'm not sure where, but I know somewhere in the Bible St. Paul (or was it St. Peter?....mmm, I'm pretty sure it was St. Paul) says something to the effect of "Bad company ruins good morals." I would say go for trying to start your own Catholic home ed group. All you need is one other family, and you have potentially four.
Also, don't know if you're interested, but we live just over an hour north of London right by the Norfolk/Suffolk border. Maybe we could do something together. Our children seem to be around the same ages.
Also, I found a British Catholic Homeschool yahoo group a few months ago. I didn't join it and now I can't find it for the life of me. I am pretty sure I found it throughthis site though. They don't look like they are listing international homeschool groups though.
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In Christ,
Jeanna
Mommy of 7 arrows.....
 dd11; dd9; ds7; dd6; dd6; dd4; ds3
"There is only one tragedy in the end, not to have been a saint."
- Leon Bloy
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I totally understand your position. One homeschool group we visited was so full of permissive parents I spent the entire time just in awe of how rotten kids can be! Needless to say, we left that group quickly. There are no homeschool groups where we live now.
My kids have each other. My ds has his one good buddy that he has had since kindergarten, and he goes to karate class twice a week. Dd goes to CCD. That is enough socialization for them. They are happy, well adjusted kids.
I think having a small intimate group of just a few families would actually be preferable to a larger group. It is easier to develop relationships in a small group setting and I think that is more valuable to our dc (and ourselves) than having lots of aquaintences and calling them "friends."
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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juststartn
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 9:12pm | IP Logged
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Mercy, I am not alone (and I am not in the UK, sorry).
I am really picky about the kind of folks we spend time with, esp since my oldest dc is a very sociable, peer-oriented girl. She's been lovingly known as "the Mayor" since she was an infant. LOL. Never met a stranger. But I can easily see her "following the crowd", iykwim.
Add in the fact that my own outlook is becoming much more conservative, much more "insular" as far as protecting my family from the less than desirable influences to be found in the world in general.
The oldest two girls are in a once-a-week dance class...an hour a week. We go to Mass, we run errands, etc....it's just...well, DH is one of those "they need to be around other children more often"...esp as my oldest is always VERY excited to be around other children close to her age....
Its frustrating for me..but I am holding the line these days...
Its just rough. Sorry I can't be helpful as far as advice.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
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Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 6:17am | IP Logged
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juststartn wrote:
DH is one of those "they need to be around other children more often"...esp as my oldest is always VERY excited to be around other children close to her age....
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My dh is the same. But dd is the opposite, she won't talk to people--painfully shy unless she really knows the person. She is overwhelmed when we go to events with lot's of people. What is worse is she clings to me when with large groups of kids. It is so hard. I attribute a lot of it to our move 2 years ago--it rocked her(and my) world. She was just so different in VA. But our life was so different!
Anne
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Feb 09 2007 at 7:14am | IP Logged
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My dd7 goes to CCD one night a week. We go to Mass. We attend 4H meetings monthly. We visit and volunteer at our small town library weekly. We help deliver meals to elderly citizens every other month. The kids see their grandparents weekly. And they see their cousins twice a month when we head to the Twin Cities.
EVERYONE is so concerned all the time that they aren't getting enough "socialization", but I would love to know the statistics on how many kids in a public school do all the things my kids do -- which involve inter-acting with all different ages!
Sorry, but this subject gets me hot!
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: The dreaded socialisation
