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Bridget
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So this can be a big issue with adoptive children. Can anyone explain the clinical symptoms and the spectrum of RAD? And what are recommendations for how to help the child?
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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mavmama
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Not enough time now, but I wanted to say that I will answer with our experience later. Maybe tonight, if I can.
One website that is very helpful is Nancythomasparenting.com
She is sort of the RAD guru, and has had many children through her home who were healed by her love and therapy. Our present therapist has trained under Nancy and is very good, too. At Nancy' site, there is a place to search for therapists in each state. It's where we found ours, and the previous one, too, before we moved here.
Anyone who is living with this, feel free to pm me, it helps to have a friend who understands, I know.
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Liz
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dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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Carole N.
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I wish I had known when we adopted our son a bit more about RAD. I am not saying that we would not have adopted him, but we probably would have done things a bit differently had we known more.
Nancy Thomas is wonderful. Her book When Love is Not Enough is a wonderful place to start. We have given away many copies of this book to other RAD parents. She also has a tape set Healing Trust. She has been featured on Dr. Dobson as well.
I also highly recommend finding a RAD therapist. We have been through so many therapists and it is quite frustrating for both the child and the parents.
Just remember, no matter how much they frustrate you, they really do want to be loved. Support from other parents is a key issue in dealing with this. We have not had anyone we could talk to about our child until recently.
So mnay of our ds teachers have classified him as ADHD. Many of the symptoms are the same. Some of the classic symptoms are ridiculous lying, stealing, hyperactivity, short attention span, inability to focus, cruelity to animals, developmental delays.
Another writer, Conrad Barr, wrote several books about RAD children only he has a different name for the condition. I think it was emotional depravation, but I would have to ask my husband. His books go into a lot of detail about how the children are arrested at a certain state in life and may not be able to heal until that state is fulfilled. For my ds, I think that it is taking baths. He still plays in the tub for hours if we let him (and he is 12 years old).
This is a good thread for me. I hope to gain more insight from other moms who have RAD children. It is not an easy life--we have had our son for seven years, and although there has been improvement, there is still a lot of healing to be done. 
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Carole ... in Wales
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Diane
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Just want to make sure all of you see Helen's beautiful post about parenting a child who suffers from RAD. She presents a new way of looking at it, which has helped me tremendously.
 Thank you, Helen. 
May we all find strength and encouragement from each other through this new adoption forum. It helps so much to have such kindred spirits as travelers with me on this journey.
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Diane
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Helen
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Diane wrote:
Just want to make sure all of you see Helen's beautiful post about parenting a child who suffers from RAD. She presents a new way of looking at it, which has helped me tremendously.
Thank you, Helen.
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Thank you Diane.
I've been putting off writing these posts for awhile. It is a difficult subject to talk about. I appreciate that you took the time to say that the post was helpful.
I just posted
Rad and the other children
I'm planning on working on these posts this week.
Nancy Thomas and the other specialists have excellent strategies. I'm writing more about the spiritual life and RAD.
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Ave Maria!
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Diane
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Helen wrote:
I just posted
Rad and the other children
I'm planning on working on these posts this week.
Nancy Thomas and the other specialists have excellent strategies. I'm writing more about the spiritual life and RAD. |
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And I'm so thankful that you are. The spiritual dimension in this journey is sorely lacking in the RAD sources I've found, and I believe that it is the most important piece to the puzzle.
I look forward to learning more from you this week. Thank you so much for taking the time to write these posts, Helen. I know that they are not easy for you, but they will help so many, especially me.
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Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince
The Journey of a Mother's Heart
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Carole N.
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I also want to thank you Helen! We have worked hard to include the spiritual side in our healing, but it is not always easy. These posts will help others so much. I truly appreciate your willingness to share your own experiences. You are wonderful!
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Wendi DeGrandpr
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I am very grateful to have found this thread. We are just realizing RAD has entered our home. I have been searching the internet for information and have ordered some books: Nancy Thomas' When Love is Not Enough and a couple of others. I read about RAD before we brought our children home but I honestly didn't think we would be dealing with it based on the environment our children were coming from. Six weeks after our dd came home our youngest bio dd was diagnosed w/ type I diabetes and while I am trying to meet all our children's needs this has been on the forefront of every day. I couldn't figure out the behavior I was seeing at all - I couldn't figure out what I have been doing wrong. After much prayer and desperation I found what I needed online two nights ago - and now I am here.
Helen your posts have given me much to think about and so much to focus on.
Thank you. I am so grateful for this list .... once again. 
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Wendi
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"We can do no great things - only small things with great love." Blessed Mother Teresa
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Helen
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Wendi DeGrandpr wrote:
| Six weeks after our dd came home our youngest bio dd was diagnosed w/ type I diabetes and while I am trying to meet all our children's needs this has been on the forefront of every day. |
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Dear Wendi,
I will pray for you today. The Lord trusts you with a heavy Cross. He will also reward you generously for faithfully carrying it!
Love, Helen
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Ave Maria!
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Margaret
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Wendi,
I read your post last night and you have been on my heart since. I have prayed for you frequently throughout my day. I too have a daughter that suffers from RAD. It is so truly very sad. I highly recommend the book:
Building the Bonds of Attachment by Daniel Hughes
I have read so many books/websites and even worked with some of the more well known attachment therapists out there. This book seems to be making a difference where other things did not. Hope this helps.
Love,
Margaret
In the Shade of the Old Oaks
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Wendi DeGrandpr
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Thank you for the suggestions and especially for the prayers - I truly feel them. I have hope and cannot tell you how relieved I feel to know there is a "reason" for all of this behavior. I am still waiting for the books I ordered (always seems like amazon is slow when I am in a hurry .... one more reason to work on patience  ). I will look into the book you mentioned as well Margaret, thank you very much.
We just keep moving forward and praying.
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God Bless,
Wendi
Mom to four blessings
"We can do no great things - only small things with great love." Blessed Mother Teresa
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: RAD
