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Martha
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
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Today, for the first time ever, one of my children changed a diaper. My oldest child. He's been nagging me, literally, for about a decade now to change a baby sibling's diaper. Well he just turned 12 and asked for gameboy games, k'nex, and to change one of the babies' diapers. At first, I gave the same answer I've been using. "No, that's what parents do. Maybe when you're older."
He had his argument ready today. "Mom, I'm a year older. I think I need to help you more. And I love T. and B., so I'd be real careful not to break them. And Dad says real men take care of their families and I'm working real hard to be a good man some day. I'll do it exactly like you say to do it. I promise. Can I pleeeasssse change the diaper for you???"
*sigh* So we put T. down in front of me and B. down in front of him. And my son changed a diaper. It's official. My first baby is not a baby anymore. *sniffle - sniff*
Now, all the others feel left out. They are very upset. It's not fair that D. gets to do everything first and they have to wait YEARS for their turn.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 9:50pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
| He had his argument ready today. "Mom, I'm a year older. I think I need to help you more. And I love T. and B., so I'd be real careful not to break them. And Dad says real men take care of their families and I'm working real hard to be a good man some day. I'll do it exactly like you say to do it. I promise. Can I pleeeasssse change the diaper for you???" |
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What a wonderful young man! I can only pray that my ds4 will think and feel like that someday! You are blessed.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Michaela
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| Posted: Feb 02 2007 at 1:22am | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
He had his argument ready today. "Mom, I'm a year older. I think I need to help you more. And I love T. and B., so I'd be real careful not to break them. And Dad says real men take care of their families and I'm working real hard to be a good man some day. I'll do it exactly like you say to do it. I promise. Can I pleeeasssse change the diaper for you???" |
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That is so sweet, Martha! You and your husband are raising a fine young man!
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Feb 02 2007 at 5:48am | IP Logged
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Wow, I'm amazed. My ds (13) runs if I look at him like I'm going to ask him to change a diaper! My dd on the other hand, though much younger, is quite good at it!
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Feb 02 2007 at 6:33am | IP Logged
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Martha!! What a fine young man you and Rob are raising! My oldest son, soon to be 12, I can't imagine him asking to change a diaper, but my oldest daughter, very soon to be 10, changes Molly all the time. She's even bathed her before, because she wants too! She says "Mom, I've never needed to play with dolls, the real things are so much better!"
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Bridget
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Good job Martha! You have crossed over to the land of real help!
My oldest son changes my youngest son, my oldest daughter changes my youngest daughter. They even offer to when I'm busy sometimes!
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Martha
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| Posted: Feb 02 2007 at 8:00am | IP Logged
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None of my children had ever changed a diaper before this. I feel so guilty. Like I'm sloughing off on my parental duty or something. I know I'm not, but it still feels that way.
He's so proud of himself though. Says he feels like he's grown up a little now.  
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Bridget
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Older children WANT to be doing real work. They WANT to make real contributions to their family. They don't want to be an artificial leisure class.
Changing diapers is part of the real workload in a family with little ones.
There is no way YOU could be considered sloughing off!
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Angela F
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Bridget wrote:
| Older children WANT to be doing real work. They WANT to make real contributions to their family. They don't want to be an artificial leisure class. |
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I totally agree with Bridget! My two oldest are girls, 13 and 11 and they do soooo much for our family. And I tell them that and really thank them for their service to our family. I think that really helps them - to be thanked! And now that my back is tweaking, they are a godsend!  And I can't forget to mention that the rest of them really help Mommy too.
God bless,
Angela
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Mom to 7 blessings - welcome to Hanna Clare 1/19/10
"‘Great’ holiness consists in carrying out the ‘little’ duties of each moment."
St. Josemaria Escriva
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ladybugs
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Martha,
So beautiful!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Nina Murphy
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Wow----I've been enlisting them for so long, I can't even remember that day.
It is an amazing wonder when you have your first baby with an "old enough" child to help hold the baby for little breaks. All of a sudden your world completely changes. I remember THAT time when Mary (#4) was born and Kate was just old enough with just-long enough arms to carry her (safely for a short distance) at 7 3/4 years old. Then, I remember when Maggie was born (#5) and Kate was 10 years old...and could get her to sleep and rock her and wow---give me a break for a few moments.
It seems so hard now...that I forget how hard (different) it was to have a few YOUNG ones at once with no help. It gives me sympathy all over again for the just starting moms with only 2 or 3 or 4!
Thanks for sharing! :)
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Jeanna
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Wow Martha, that's wonderful! I just love your son's response. I hope that my ds will be thinking along those lines in 10 years. I would definately not feel guilty about letting him change diapers. I think one of the great things about homeschooling is that you get to teach your children all sorts of things from book smarts to how to efficiently run a home. In the schools they send their students home with a battery operated doll that cries for food and diaper changes. Your son gets to learn with a real baby!
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In Christ,
Jeanna
Mommy of 7 arrows.....
 dd11; dd9; ds7; dd6; dd6; dd4; ds3
"There is only one tragedy in the end, not to have been a saint."
- Leon Bloy
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Martha
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| Posted: Feb 04 2007 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
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We sorta purposely decided long ago to not let them do certain things which we consider parent exclusives.
I say "sorta" because our oldest was only 6 when the 5th baby came, so we never developed that habit to begin with. There's only so much I would feel safe letting a just turned 6 yr old do for a baby.
We also have a very strong aversion to a philosophy of "built-in babysitters" and "second mothers". I'm NOT saying any of YOU are like that. I'm saying MY expereince has given me a desire to avoid that for my children.
All of the kids have plenty of chores and they do get to help in other ways. But feeding, baths, dressing, diapers - those have always been limited to parents. Or as my children say, "All the fun stuff." We pray they still look at it that way when they have children of their own. 
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Martha
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Zeliemum
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My dc's all help with the littler brothers and sisters, it varies from day to day who helps who. My 7yo ds loves his 2 1/2 year old sister and always wants to help her, brush her hair etc. My eldest four dc’s, which came one year after the other all help with the 4 & 2 year olds.
The girls(11,8 1/2) help their sister to get ready for Mass or going to town and change nappies not always but sometimes even when I haven't asked them. They love to dress her up.
The boys(10,7) also help their little brother get shoes on, help him brush his teeth etc, and my older boy has changed a few nappies with many giggles and playfulness. Although I do change 95% of them on a busy day they pitch in and help with it - to my gratitude.
We had to specially pull together a couple of years ago as I was away from the family for 4 1/2 months with a sick child in hospital and so they really learnt to work together to help Dad and to make life easier for all. So I see it as a great experience in unity and strength and most of all they realize that to do it out of love is a gift from one to the other and ultimately a gift to God.
Chem
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Mother to seven with five in heaven...Spiritualmotherhood for Priests
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
| None of my children had ever changed a diaper before this. I feel so guilty. Like I'm sloughing off on my parental duty or something. I know I'm not, but it still feels that way. |
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Your post made ME feel guilty! My kids chabneg diapers ALL the time!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: a parenting first for me
