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Anne McD
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Okay, okay, after four conceptions, I think I've got it figured out  . However, ds5 is starting to as more questions. Originally, our answer to "how does the baby get in your tummy?" was, "Well, God decided it was time for Mommy and Daddy to have another baby, so He put a very tiny baby in Mommy's tummy, and when its finished growing, Mommy will go to the hospital and the doctor will help Mommy get the baby out."
Now he wants details. I'm not ready to give details, but I'm not lying through my teeth, either. How have you all dealt with this question with your children whom you weren't ready to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Sometimes, I wish we lived on a farm. Something tells me that once he witnessed a couple of cows giving birth, he wouldn't bring it up again. 
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Bridget
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With information I don't think they are old enough for, I tell them that it is something very special and beautiful from God that I will tell them about when they're older.
Or conversely, an ugly situation is something very sad and sinful that I don't want them to know about till they are much older.
Mine have been trusting and accepting of this response.
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aussieannie
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That is so true Bridget - when these sort of questions come up, I try to do my own mix on Corrie Ten Boom father's wise words:
Oftentimes I would use the trip home to bring up things that were troubling me, since anything I asked at home was promptly answered by the aunts. Once -- I must have been ten or eleven -- I asked Father about a poem we had read at school the winter before. One line described "a young man whose face was not shadowed by s@xsin." I had been far too shy to ask the teacher what it meant, and Mama had blushed scarlet when I consulted her. In those days just after the turn of the century s#x was never discussed, even at home.
So the line had stuck in my head. "S&x," I was pretty sure, meant whether you were a boy or a girl, and "sin" made her aunt, Tante Jans very angry, but what the two together meant I could not imagine. And so, seated next to Father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is s$xsin?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
"It's too heavy," I said.
"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."
(The Hiding Place (Bantam, Reissue Edition, 1984) 26-27)
"For now you must trust me to carry it for you."
What beautiful words.
My experience is that they are satisfied to wait and that they know that is witheld because they are loved - they walk away happy with that.
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Anne McD
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What a beautiful response-- I would never have thougtht of that! Thank you-- this is the whole truth. At his age, he doesn't need to know any more.
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Jenny
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Anne McD wrote:
| Sometimes, I wish we lived on a farm. Something tells me that once he witnessed a couple of cows giving birth, he wouldn't bring it up again. |
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We do live on an alpaca farm and during my 4th pregnancy my second oldest wanted to know where babies come from. I was telling my OB this and he told me since I lived on a farm I could just tell the girls it was like when the alpacas had a baby. Umm, no. I did not want my children picturing me on all fours dropping a baby out my backend  So, trying to out-smart them I told them the baby comes out the birth canal. So, can you guess? They wanted to know where the birth canal was located Then I told them we would talk about this when they were older and could understand what I was telling them. We have not talked yet and it has been 3 years. My oldest girls are 8, 6, and 5.
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mary
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here's another thread discussing the same issue.
i suppose i have the opposing view that kids should know a bit more, especially when menstruation is just around the corner. perhaps that's my view because i grew up on a farm and yet my own mom didn't explain anything and so i was left to figure it out on my own. just another perspective. 
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Maryan
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I can remember my mom having a great book with pictures on the baby's development in utero. We always asked questions and she always answered them in big scientific terms - but that seemed to satisfy us. I still had no real idea about how the whole thing started beyond her scientific terms. Also, we were an all girl family, so I don't think she was worried about tempting us with too much information (my only brother was the last and probably never got to see the book because he was last!)
Ironically enough, when my ds 5 asked about my newborn this September, I resorted to distraction!
He asked: How did Luke come out?
I said: Quickly
which was true.
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Anne McD
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"Ironically enough, when my ds 5 asked about my newborn this September, I resorted to distraction!
He asked: How did Luke come out?
I said: Quickly
which was true."
Last time ds5 asked me a really pointed question I diverted with a cookie. Seemed to work . . .
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Lisbet
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Okay, the question I keep getting is "if the baby is in your body mom, then how can it be dad's too?" So far the answer has been "Because we are married." BUT, unfortunetly, a few have realized that not everyone that has a baby is married, so I'm not sure how much longer that answer will hold out.
My dd, almost 10, is showing obvious signs of entering puberty, so I spoke with her about menstration a few months ago, it was really a very simple conversation, she didn't even blush. I think it has helped that she has been with me for the birth of her last two siblings.
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Kristi
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Lisbet wrote:
| Okay, the question I keep getting is "if the baby is in your body mom, then how can it be dad's too?" So far the answer has been "Because we are married." BUT, unfortunetly, a few have realized that not everyone that has a baby is married, so I'm not sure how much longer that answer will hold out. |
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I recall reading somewhere here where the parent's response to out of wedlock births was that they pretended to be married. I'm saving that for the day it comes up here.
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Mrs.K
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Oh, Annie, I too love that quote and think of it often!
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MarilynW
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aussieannie wrote:
That is so true Bridget - when these sort of questions come up, I try to do my own mix on Corrie Ten Boom father's wise words:
[
What beautiful words.
My experience is that they are satisfied to wait and that they know that is witheld because they are loved - they walk away happy with that. |
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Thanks for this Annie - such lovely words and so true. My dd (10) is still into playing with dolls and quite sheltered. I have discussed body changes with her. All my kids know about giving birth (c-sections, regular etc) - but I do not think they are ready for the whole 9 yards. I have ordered "A child is born" from the library to see if it is suitable - because they are always wanting to know how big the baby is, can it see or hear etc.
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kingvozzo
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Kristi wrote:
Lisbet wrote:
| Okay, the question I keep getting is "if the baby is in your body mom, then how can it be dad's too?" So far the answer has been "Because we are married." BUT, unfortunetly, a few have realized that not everyone that has a baby is married, so I'm not sure how much longer that answer will hold out. |
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I recall reading somewhere here where the parent's response to out of wedlock births was that they pretended to be married. I'm saving that for the day it comes up here. |
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This is similar to the explanation I gave ds when trying to explain about Lancelot and Guinevere from Camelot. He couldn't wrap his mind around any of the other explanations I tried, but this has satisfied him.
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TracyFD
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Love these answers! Yesterday my 3yo asked me, "Mommy, is the baby going to come out of your mouth?"
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Paula in MN
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TracyFD wrote:
| Yesterday my 3yo asked me, "Mommy, is the baby going to come out of your mouth?" |
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juststartn
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Well, mine seem to think my belly button is a conduit to the baby, lol.
Mine know a good deal about it...but in simple, decent terms that they can understand. I don't tell them anything that they don't ask about (they are only 6.5, 4.5, and 2.5), but they understand about csections and babies being born the other way (we're an all girl family so far, so we've had some interesting conversations about things already)....
But I've always let them lead the conversation. I try to ask "Well, what do YOU think?" And see what they say...it also tells me what/where I need to start the conversation with/on, iykwim.
We do have a number of books, and we've discussed a number of other things as well, as a result of medical shows on television. And it doesn't hurt that we have a wee one on the way due in June, so they get to see this replayed every few years, it seems, lol.
Rachel
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Where do babies come from?
