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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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While I am sitting here, stiff as a board trying not to move my neck at all because of a pinched nerve, I thought I would use my hands and try to find a solution to one of the culprits.
My kids don't sleep through the night, ever. All of them, from the nine year old on down, wake up and come into our room. On any given morning I can have four children, including the baby, on my queen size bed with dh and me. On a good day, it is just one or two. When they run out of room, they climb onto the toddler bed at the end of our bed.
So I sleep all scrunched up, legs bent, trying to shield the baby from wayward arms and legs, and also trying to keep them away from my dh as much as possible since he has to actually leave the house in the morning.
I know that I am a pushover and need to be more firm.  Trust me, my dh has made this fact very clear. So what I want help with is discovering the reason why they wake up.
Here is their sleeping arrangement when they go to bed. In the girls' room, my 10 yr old has a loft bed, she does not get up. The younger girls, 7 and 5, and sometimes the three yr old, have a bunk bed. Neither will sleep on the top so they share the bottom. My 9 yr old ds has his own room with a bunk bed, but he usually climbs into the girls' lower bunk with them. Actually the girls prefer the floor and often start off there.
This morning, as I lay paralyzed on the couch after running away from the full bed, I was pondering the situation. Should I buy them one queen size bed? Should I take the bunk apart and put them together on the floor?
Or is it something else waking them? Because even when each child goes to sleep in his/her own bed, they still end up in my bed.
While I try to figure this out, I plan to put a sleeping bag on the floor from now on where the nighttime stragglers will have to sleep. I have reached my last nerve and it is pinched and very painful!!! 
Any ideas?
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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I just read your pinched nerve post and then found this--it is kind of funny because I went through the pinched nerve thing about 2 months ago--with dh on an around the world trip. It happened 3 days into his 3 week absence. I could not lie down to sleep, too painful, and it was a looooong few weeks.
I went to the MD and while I don't like to take medication got some to decrease the pain(after suffering for 2 weeks)so I could get some sleep. It worked pretty well-after a few hours sleep I felt a little better  I also did PT which was more a hassle than anything else. The doctor said it would take up to 8 weeks to settle down and he was right. At the point I was so frustrated and thinking I needed an MRI I woke one morning and was surprized I had so little pain--it was amazing that he was right 
About the sleeping thing. My ds, who is 9 just started sleeping through and not joining us in our bed. I was beginning to wonder a few months ago Dd can actually make it through some nights in her bed all night too! she is 4. I guess I mean to say each kid is different and to hang in there. I know it is hard with more than one in bed, and a wild one like ds makes it all the more "joyful."
I need to get to the grocery I hope this made sense and I'll keep you in my prayers, that pinched nerve and numbness is so painful...
Anne
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MaryMary
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 1:12pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Molly, I could have written your post. Just a few days ago I, too, was immobile from the waist up from the same cause - everyone around here plays musical beds all night and in the a.m. I end up in a corner of someone's bed in a contorted heap! 
I applied cold compresses (our chiropractor recommends cold over hot) to my mid back, and that, along with some deep, (painful) massages from dh seemed to alleviate this.
We're just not good disciplinarians at night. I would rather scoot over until I'm perilously close to falling off my bed to let a kid in rather than get up and deal with the issues. Really, at 3:00 a.m. can't we just let sleeping dogs lie? (Pun intended)
I have no advice to offer. But I'll be thinking about you tonight when I'm practically swallowing my knees to accomodate one (but most likely all three) of my beloved dc in the same bed! Praying for you, sister!
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Mary
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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I hope you don't think I'm mean, but I have 3 sleeping bags folded at the foot of our bed. The 3 year old sleeps with us most of the time but if the 5, 7 or 13 year old come in, they grab a sleeping bag on the floor. Now, the 13 yo hasn't been in there for a few years. The 5 and 7 year olds are regulars. I told the kids that once they turned 5, they are always welcome to come in, especially if they are afraid or something, but they'll have to sleep on the floor since our bed is just not big enough for everyone. It seems to work fine. Sometimes, if the kids are truly afraid I will lay next to them for a while or just reach my hand over the bed and hold theirs. It seems to work fine. I just knew our bed wouldn't accomodate more than 3 of us, and I couldn't let one sleep there without letting all of them, so we came up with the 5yo rule.
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Becky
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
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yep....that's us too!
we have tried many things. things are going much better right now (for the moment anyway)
we got so desperate.....we bribed them.
we said.....if you can stay in your room ALL NIGHT LONG, ALL OF YOU (5 1/2, 4, 3 year old) (they all sleep in the same room) for SEVEN NIGHTS in a row then we will have a family outing to the candy store (grocery store that has a bulk section with candy in it). and you get to pick out 1/2 cup of whatever candy you want.
ooooohhhhhh.....aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!the candy store!!! 
we "practiced" this. we laid in bed and they in theirs, and they came into our room and we said, "candy store" and they turned around and went back. everyone was giggling of course. we also explained that it isn't because we don't like to snuggle, etc....but b/c it's very hard to sleep and everyone needs sleep and our bodies hurt if we don't have enuf room.....etc....ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
then we went through the list of things that didn't count. nightmares, help wiping a bum, cold feet (need help putting socks on), sick, etc. but for getting up for NO REASON.....THAT counted.
lo and behold it worked. so when we hear them coming into the room....we say "candy store" and they turn around and go back.
We are now on the 2-week plan.....if they can stay in bed for 2 weeks, we'll go to some designated fun/treat place. a week ago, they were getting up a lot again (and we weren't hearing them crawl into bed with us so we couldn't do the reminder). So we REMINDED them about the "rules of engagement" and again......no one up for the next few days.
We also say a prayer to their guardian angels during bedtime prayers to help them stay in their beds and get a good night sleep, so everyone can have a good next day.
...so for right now, this is what's working for us.
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Sarah
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
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Didn't get a chance to read everyone responses but I'll pop in to maybe suggest that everyone sleep alone. Our kids can't sleep with other people (even though they did as infants ) because they move and thrash and wake each other up. Maybe once they're awake they look for reassurance to get back to sleep because I know ours do.
Also, if my kids eat weird things for dinner or before bed they sleep very light and wake frequently. Even healthy things such as fruit stimulates some if eaten too close to bedtime.
In the end I had to become VERY stern and say that they are not to wake us. That then swung the other direction and the 5yo who should have woken us at times laid there suffering. Now I tell them to make sure its a very good reason and that has seemed to work. I told them I won't get mad if they realy need me. Not that I don't want to welcome them, but it can get silly and I'm sleep deprived enough with this toddler who WON'T SLEEP!!!!!
Hang in there. . .
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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sleep patterns have all of us deeper asleep and less asleep through the night.. children especially - the less sleep equals waking up.. I'd say it's less an issue of the waking up than it is the going back to sleep.
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Sarah
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Jodie. Don't worry about the waking so much maybe as training them to stay in a comfortable bed and fall back to sleep alone.
As I said before, once I got pretty firm, things got better. That is making sure they understand to come when they are sick or in pain, etc.
Maybe this is no help. . .
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MarilynW
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
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Very timely thread. My almost 3 year old is refusing to go to sleep in his bed - and even in ours stays awake and plays. Plus when we transfer him - he comes back about 3am. I think that with the morning sickness etc I have become less firm.
Also our 10 year old dd is having trouble falling asleep.
Is there something in the air?
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humanaevitae
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| Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 11:01pm | IP Logged
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Could any of the children possibly have sleep apnea or allergies?
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Topic: My kids don't sleep!
