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Topic: verbal vs written Which are you?

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humanaevitae
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 12:37pm \| IP Logged

The online communities thread has gotten me thinking about why I'm a hesitant poster here but would have not have such qualms getting involved at a gathering.

I am more comfortable talking IRL or over a phone because of the constant dialogue. I can pick up body language and tone immediately and adjust my speaking or close my mouth!

Typing my thoughts is much more difficult as I tend to dwell on each word choice. It is so permanant!

When I am faced with a difficult discussion that may hurt someone's feelings or I am passionate about a subject I choose to communicate verbally. I have more confidence that I will accurately be able to get my point across while causing the least amount of damage/or unfavorable opinion of me.

OTOH, my Mom prefers to write letters dealing with difficult topics. An emotional experience has her reaching to write stories/poems. Of course, as a woman she is quite verbal too!

Has anyone else pondered this thought? Which communication are you most comfortable with, especially in matters you care about?

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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2

kjohnson
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 1:50pm \| IP Logged

I've thought about this off and on over the past few years. I'm more like your mother. I like written communication. I can think about my word choice and re-read it before it's sent. But I've also had written communication fall apart because of what you mentioned. You can't see body language or hear tone of voice. And some people are downright offended when they receive written communication on difficult topics. I think I've just come to the conclusion that there is no perfect mode of communication for fallen human beings.

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Katherine
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Diane
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 4:55pm \| IP Logged

I'm definitely more of a writer than a talker. My thought process seems to run on slow

as I ponder each angle, and I can sometimes struggle with expressing myself IRL. Not that I don't struggle at times to express myself in writing

, but at least I don't have the time constraints of keeping up in a conversation.

However, I love to listen to others talk IRL (and blabbers tend to take full advantage of this

). I agree that we do sometimes miss out on nonverbal cues through our writing here. Somehow, those cute emoticons really do help a bit, as I've demonstrated in this post.

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Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince

The Journey of a Mother's Heart

Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:03pm \| IP Logged

Definitely a lover of the written word.

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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks

Dawn
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:13pm \| IP Logged

I prefer the written word, in general. This will sound strange, but I think I sound more like me when I write than when I talk.

I guess when I talk I think about it too much, lol - although maybe when I write I don't always think enough.

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Dawn, mum to 3 boys

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:14pm \| IP Logged

Dawn wrote:

I guess when I talk I think about it too much, lol - although maybe when I write I don't think enough.

Oh, Dawn, this is me exactly. You said it so well.

Bless you.

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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks

Diane
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:19pm \| IP Logged

Dawn wrote:

This will sound strange, but I think I sound more like me when I write than when I talk.

I don't think it sounds strange at all, Dawn...it's exactly how I feel.

And this is my very last post for the day. I think I've set a new personal record here today. Kids? What kids? (I'm kidding.)

I will not check the Active Topics, I will not check the Active Topics, I will not...

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Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince

The Journey of a Mother's Heart

Diane
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:21pm \| IP Logged

Cay Gibson wrote:

Dawn wrote:

I guess when I talk I think about it too much, lol - although maybe when I write I don't think enough.

Oh, Dawn, this is me exactly. You said it so well.

Bless you.

Cay, we were posting at the same time...great minds think like Dawn, eh?

And you forced me to post again and outdo my personal best---thank you! Now, off to bed. I promise.

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Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince

The Journey of a Mother's Heart

Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:28pm \| IP Logged

Diane wrote:

...great minds think like Dawn, eh?

And you forced me to post again and outdo my personal best---thank you! Now, off to bed. I promise.

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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks

humanaevitae
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 5:39pm \| IP Logged

Dawn wrote:

I guess when I talk I think about it too much, lol - although maybe when I write I don't always think enough.

I am the exact opposite!

Ok, am I the only gabber who finds written communication frustrating? Are the writers more likely to join/participate on forums?

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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2

Natalia
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 6:44pm \| IP Logged

humanaevitae wrote:

Ok, am I the only gabber who finds written communication frustrating? Are the writers more likely to join/participate on forums?

No, you are not. I love to talk and I find myself more at ease when talking face to face. I like to write but find it hard to concentrate enough in the little
snipets of time that I have. Also, my first language is not English and I feel self conscious about spelling and grammar mistakes (especially among so many good writers).
I have discovered that the longer I persevere in this form of communication the easier it gets. I still wish that the conversations would take place face to face but I am glad and thankful for this board and others I belong to. It has made a great difference in a life that would be otherwise isolating.

Natalia

humanaevitae
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 7:18pm \| IP Logged

Natalia wrote:

I feel self conscious about spelling and grammar mistakes (especially among so many good writers).

Natalia, I often find myself erasing a word that I'm not sure about and using another one!

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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2

stefoodie
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 7:55pm \| IP Logged

I'm more a writer than a talker, though I *love* to talk too, with the right person (usually my hubby or my kids or my mom)...

that said, I often manage to put my foot in my mouth, both verbally and on screen/paper. but as you can see, that hasn't stopped me from talking/writing anyway.

dawn, i'm the opposite. sometimes i don't think when i'm talking and then afterwards i go, now WHY in the world did i have to say that??? with writing it can go both ways.... sometimes i think more.... sometimes i wish i did, but it's usually too late

.

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stef

mom to five

Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 7:58pm \| IP Logged

stefoodie wrote:

i go, now WHY in the world did i have to say that??? with writing it can go both ways.... sometimes i think more.... sometimes i wish i did, but it's usually too late

Thank the Lord for that edit key, huh?

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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks

Erin
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Posted: Jan 09 2007 at 10:17pm \| IP Logged

Okay I am both

I have no trouble verbally communicating

much to my dc's displeasure. Until joining this forum most of my communication was verbal but now I get to hone my writting skills

When I write I ponder and re-write posts/letters to sound, hopefully, how I want.

As Nicole mentions for more 'sensitive' conversations I will have them verbally as there is more of a chance for hurt feelings via the written word. I have had some very hurtful letters sent over the years and I don;t find it a nice medium at all, you can also re-read and keep the wounds open this way.

(Hey Nicole, I have a Xavier! my ds is 10.
Natalia, love your picture

)

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Erin
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