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kathleenmom
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| Posted: Nov 07 2006 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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The other recent topic about the oldest child's responsibilities prompted me to post a question I've been chewing on and look for advice and see what others do.
What chores do you expect of your children and what are their ages?
When, do they do their chores? I have been struggling mightily with diligence and follow-though with all things with my children. If I don't follow them ceaselessly, very little gets done without much inter-nicene warfare betwixt siblings, and painnnnnfully slow progress.
I wake them at 7:30 and don't think it unreasonable to expect school to start by 8:30. It NEVER does. My eldest has been known to take 2 hours at her chores. Sigh.
Here is what each does. Would anyone suggest whether this looks reasonable, is less than they are able, or is totally unrealistic?
almost 9yo dd:
get dressed
brush teeth
make bed
empty dishes from dishwasher (not silverware)
spritz 1 bathroom sink and potty seat with homemade vinegar/tea tree oil spray and wipe down
remove folded laundry in laundry room that belongs to you and put away
almost 7 yo ds:
get dressed
brush teeth
make bed
empty silverware from dishwasher
spritz 1 bathroom sink and potty seat with homemade vinegar/tea tree oil sray and wipe down
remove folded laundry in laundry roomt hat belongs to you and put away
4 yo dd:
get dressed
brush teeth
make bed
carry laundry hamper from bathroom to laundry room
I also ask them to each do an aftermeal chore each and they are expected to periodically clean and tidy up after themselves during the day.
The thing that is really causing me trouble at the moment is how loooooong it takes them to get their chores done in the morning. I am waiting for people to get school started everyday. I have recently announced that school will begin at 8:30 and if their chores are not completed they will have to do them during their free time. But, this doesn't really work for my biggest dawdler...the almost 9 yo. Little thus far has really motivated her to pick up the pace.
Also, I was thinking that I could break up the chores a bit perhaps and have some chore breaks in between subjects or a set of chores after school but before play time. That perhaps would take some of the early morning stress away.
I would also like to add some additional chores because what they currently do is just maintenance. I end up chasing everyone around like a wild woman on the weekend demanding miracles be performed in the way of cleaning and upkeep.
What do you guys do?
Kathleen
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Nov 07 2006 at 2:21pm | IP Logged
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Here's our current "Whole Duty of Children" list, recently updated:
Mornings (7am to 9am) for Everyone
Brush teeth
Get dressed
Make bed
Pick up room
Practice piano for 1/2 hour (older 3)
15 minute post school pick up
Evenings for Older 3
Shower, sometimes with same gendered, non-twin, younger sibling
15 min living room pickup
Thomas and Anthony, 7 yrs, self-described Wolf Duty
Put away all children's laundry NEATLY--Thomas am
Feed the cat--Thomas am
Load dishwasher--Anthony usually after school
Straighten mudroom--Anthony
Howl at the moon
Maria, 5 yrs
Shower sometimes with Cecilia
Throw trash with Daddy--pm
Recycle--am
Charles, 4 yrs
Set table for each meal
Unload dishwasher once a day (usually mornings)
Cecilia, 2yrs
Hand out vitamins at breakfast
James, 6 months
Look cute (previously Cecilia's job)
Bill
Bathrooms
2 loads of laundry per day
Grocery shopping
Cook weekend dinners
Me
Clean designated zone each day
Weekday cooking (all meals)
Teach school
Hope that helps. Looking it over I realized that the chores sort of naturally fall at different times of day although we shoot for before school. I'm sorry I don't have motivation tips. My kids like checking off a list on a chalkboard.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 07 2006 at 6:01pm | IP Logged
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I just posted about our chores here. But I didn't break them down.
I don't count things like brushing teeth, dressing, or bathing in their chores, but obviously they do those things, too.  Then:
The 10 yo collects hampers and sorts laundry in laundry room. He loads the dishwasher morning and evening. He helps set the table and pour drinks. He picks up the floor in the family room or living room before bed. He puts his laundry away. He's supposed to keep his room neat, but we're having a problem with that.
The 7 yo empties the dishwasher morning and evening. She wipes out the bathroom sinks and spot-cleans the toilets. She helps set the table and pour drinks. She picks up either the family room or living room floor before bed. She makes her bed and keeps her room reasonably clean. She changes her hamster's food and water, and I help her with cleaning the cage.
The 3 yo picks up the Legos. And sometimes helps set the table.
The babies make the mess.
We break the chores up into morning, dinner, and before bed. Actually what takes the longest time is for my 7 yo dd to PUT ON HER CLOTHES. So maybe I should count that in her list of chores! (Honestly, it can take her an hour to get out of bed and put on a shirt and a pair of jeans. Why does it take her so long? I have NO idea.)
--Angela
Mom to 3+2 
Three Plus Two
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Jeanne
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| Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
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Our current chores include
Picking up: family room,living room, school room, mud room
Kitchen(cleaning tables, loading dishwasher, sweeping foor)
Dinner helper
Dinner cleanup
Laundry
3 bathrooms that get wiped down
basement(where all the toys are)
putting away clean clothes
I have 6 children, the 2 younger ones are paired with an older one to help out to the best of their ability.
About age 7 they take on the chores on their own.
Some of the chores 2 work together-laundry and kitchen for example.
All of the chores rotate everyday(My 13 yr old dd loves creating charts and staying organized, this is not my talent!) My kids like the variety everyday.
They do most of these chores around 2 or 3pm before going out to play.
I have tried many different ways to do this, so far this has lasted about 6 months.
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Jeanne
mom to 9 (21,19,17,15,12,10,6,4,8 months
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
P hi li ppians 4:13
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ShawnaB
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| Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
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Kathleen, your chores sound very reasonable! Our chore expectations are quite similar, and we also include a 4PM afternoon choretime to get ready for dinner and tidy up the house.
I just wanted to add that it sounds like your 9 year old could use some added accountability. My dh and I attended a parenting course at church(which I usually am not fond of, but this one was REALLY good...)and we learned that we were micromanaging our kids' consequences WAY too much. We learned that we must 1.)Instruct our children on what is expected, 2.)define the consequences, and 3.) ALLOW them to experience their consequences. I was nagging and reminding too much, all to avoid consequences, which were inevitable anyway!
Ds age 6 was a major dawdler before bedtime, and we were constantly cajoling him to get done everything he was supposed to do, and bedtime was forever negotiable. So, we took a "time out", explained to him exactly what we expected him to do before bedtime, and that he was to be IN BED, with all tasks completed, by 8PM. Then, he could read till 8:30. If he failed to complete his tasks by 8PM, then the next night, bedtime was at 7:30PM, until he could prove to be responsible and have all tasks done on time. Here's the catch....we DO NOT remind him of the time or what he still needs to do. It was really hard for us at first, as we didn't want him to fail! He knows that he never has to CHOOSE the consequence of early bedtime, but we have to give him the space to make that choice. It has worked great. A few times, he has missed his 8PM deadline, and the consequence was already in place. There is no more nagging from us, which is a relief to all!. Oh, and if he makes his bedtime all week, he get to stay up 1/2 hour later on the weekends! 
You might consider setting up a similar plan prior to school time for your sweet dawdler. 
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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Rebecca
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| Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
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Everyday chores:
Morning
Dress
Brush Teeth
Put away pyjamas
Make bed
(10ds) Take down both hampers, sort and start first load of laundry.
(6ds)Empty silverware in dishwasher, unload rest with me
(3dd)Help make bed with mom, help dress and change baby sister.
After breakfast, lunch and dinner all clear table
ds 10 sweeps floor in kitchen and dining room
ds6 wipes and dries table, baby high chair and tray, toddler booster
Afternoon chores: 15 minutes work in a room that varies each day +
10ds
Monday: Vacuum basement steps
Tuesday: Wash upstairs windows
Wednesday: Wash downstairs windows, take trash to curb
Thursday: Bring trash cans back around after pick up,
Scrub upstairs tub
Friday: Scrub downstairs tub
Saturday: Clean out and vacuum van
6ds
Monday: Vacuum upstairs steps
Tuesday: Dust sunroom
Wednesday: Empty all paper baskets around house
Thursday: Help bring cans back around, Dust living room
Friday: Swiffer kitchen and dining room floors
Saturday: Clean out van, wash van windows
3dd
Monday: Water plants, swoosh toilets, get mail
Tuesday-Saturday: swoosh toilets, get mail
Evening:
All clear table
Help set table for breakfast
Lay out clothes for am
Tidy room of shoes, books, etc.
Tidy yard if any toys left out
Bring up laundry baskets and each put away (3dd gets help from me)
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Maddie
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| Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 9:01pm | IP Logged
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The ideas above are great, I'll just add two things that helped motivate my children:
1. I have timers set up around the house. One in the boy's room, girl's room, one by the piano, and one I use the one on the stove. It seems to help my children keep time in perspective, it's so easy for little guys to "get lost" as I say, and not realize how much time has passed.
2. One fun way to motivate my children has been to pretend someone important is coming over and we only have 15 minutes to clean whatever. They love bustling about the house cleaning and reminding each other, "The President will be here any minute! Hurry!" or something like that.
HTH
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Rebecca
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| Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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I do post the daily schedule and chores in a visible place. They know the routine now and do everything willingly (though not always cheerfully). I have to watch my 6ds who likes to hide clothes under the bed, rather than put them away...things like that. I quickly inspect after each chore is done. If it is not done well, they are asked to do it again until it is done well. After the first couple of days of this, they realized that it was to their advantage to do their chores well so they would have more free time and not have to do the same job twice. I meant to add that I do schedule chore times right before free time, thus naturally encouraging them to do the job well and promptly or else their free time is lessened.
Now I am working on the habit of doing the chores cheerfully as well.
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Erin
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| Posted: Nov 09 2006 at 5:39am | IP Logged
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Kathleen
Your expectations are more than reasonable. Shawna's course sounds great and I guess I would be guilty of never wanting my dc to fail so I keep changing the rules  With your dd could the consequence be that she has to get up earlier the next morning as obviously she 'needs more time'
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Erin
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What chores and when?
