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Elizabeth
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Who helps you during the postpartum period? For how long? What do they do?
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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amyable
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Our situation has been such that only dh has been there - usually for about a week before he needs to go back to work. We save all vacation in years that we are pregnant so he can do that. That being the case, we took our first REAL vacation as a family this year!  
A few friends bring a meal (we still have to cook for the allergic ones  ).
My parents have moved more locally since my last pg, so maybe next time one of them will be able to lend a hand. 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Lisbet
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Elizabeth, I hope you have lots of help with housework and meals, I know you know the importance of these initial weeks with a new child. How very blessed you are.
My husband usually takes a week off of work, and he takes care of all the older children and the housework, I stay in our room and nurse, snuggle, and get to know the new little person. When he goes back, I slowely venture back into the grove. My mother and his mother may tag-team for the second week, which is very nice. And we are blessed to have many generous friends, so we get meals every other day for nearly a month.
Thank goodness when Molly was born and we had to rush to the NICU, my parents came right away and handled everything at home so Tony and I could stay with her the entire time. My mother even finished up the last little bit of school work with the bigger kids. I don't know how we would've made it any other way.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Bridget
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My mother always has a dinner for the first night and after that we usually have dinners for a few weeks from our friends.
Kevin stays home for a week, but he really doesn't like being 'mom'. And he gets a lot of calls from work and works from home the whole time.
My SIL lived with us when I had only littles and she would keep the laundry going.
Now, my main help is the kids and I just give directions from bed or the couch. The kids want me near anyways. They always fall apart after I've been gone to the hospital.
It can get chaotic and we always baptize within a few weeks of birth so we have to get ready for that as well.
Somehow it always works out, it's just overwhelming when your in the middle of it.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Betsy
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| Posted: Oct 10 2006 at 7:38am | IP Logged
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+JMJ+
I have never had much family to help postpartum, yet I relish and cherish this special time of life.
Despite this fact, I have found that St. Dominic Salvio has worked miracles in my life after every pregnancy!
In both of my last two pregnancies I received weeks of meals and charitable acts (doing laundry, watching older children, gifts, running to store for necessities, bring box of Krispy Kream Doughnuts, etc) from people that were complete strangers!
God is Good!!
Betsy
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jdostalik
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Dear Elizabeth,
Many prayers for you during this time! 
I am always very blessed because my husband usually takes off for a week after the baby is born. Then, when he goes to work, my mother steps in coming early to my home after morning mass and getting the laundry going and helping with the kids. She usually does this almost daily for a few more weeks and at least stops by a few times a week for up to 2 months!
It is a real blessing because she leaves around 3 or 4 each day and that still gives our newly-expanded family time alone to fend for ourselves with the knowledge that the next day, help will once more arrive!
We also get meals every other day for a few weeks. I try to freeze a lot of them since my mom is around to help with dinner for a while. Then, when things get back to "normal," I have meals for those overwhelming days when the hormonal tears and postpartum blues do me in... 
I am working right now on enlisting the bigger kids to do more around here and training them on basics (laundry, laundry, laundry!) so perhaps things will be easier come January! 
Love and prayers for you and hugs to Karoline Rose!
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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mrsgranola
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My dh helps as much as he can, varying according to what's going on at work. My mom helps, my friends help, TORCH group brings some meals, too. Mostly, it's me and the big kids taking care of things but everyone seems to pitch in as much as they can. However, when I lived elsewhere, I didn't have nearly so much help but I had fewer kids, as well. We had WAY too much fast food then... 
JoAnna
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Erica Sanchez
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Cash always takes a week off and is great doing the mom things during that time, especially playing with the older kids (his speciality!). I've never had my mom like others I've known which at times makes me a little sad and a little jealous, but it is what it is. She is wonderful when the babies reach toddler age and above, but not so with newborns. In defense of my mom, she has spent hours here helping with big cleaning and yard projects, just not in the postpartum weeks.....??
We've been blessed with great meals for a week or so, but the laundry and cleaning is done by me after Cash returns to work. I usually am on a post-pregnancy high for weeks and this hasn't been a problem, until I crash and burn with mastitis a month or so in (or should that be out?) and realize I need to slooooowwww down! :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Cheryl
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My family and friends help by taking care of the dc while I'm in the hospital. My dh takes 2 weeks off, so he's there for me when I am home. He'll sometimes go into the office and work while the dc are asleep. After the 2 weeks, I'm on my own.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Mare
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Congratulations, Elizabeth!
My dh stayed home for the first three days after the birth of our first. My mom, mil and sil brought a meal the first week. I was on my own after the first week.
Peace,
Mare
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JSchaaf
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With my first, my mom and grandma came from NY (we were in MI) 3 days after she was born. They expected to be treated like guests, shown the town, etc. Not good.
With the second (born in Ohio) my mom came down the day before she was born (I was induced) and took care of Anne. My mom left the day we came home from the hospital.
Baby number three...much better. Again, my mom came down the day before she was born (again, I was induced) and left the day we came home. But I was emotionally/mentally prepared for that. My SIL arrived the day after we came home (from California, with her own two little girls, and 6 weeks pregnant) and stayed for TWO WEEKS. Allyson and I stayed in our room for 10 days, resting and getting the hang of nursing. SIL's daughters are the same age as my own, so the were well occupied. Anne-Marie (my SIL) did all the cooking and cleaning. DH did have 4 or 5 days off when Allyson was born. It was great to have another set of adult hands present, someone who was clearing willing to serve and did it joyfully!!
Jennifer
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Patty LeVasseur
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Congratulations Elizabeth!
I have to admit I don't tend to get much help after my babies are born and could explain at least partly why it takes me so long to recover. I know that many people were amazed that none of my children missed a hockey practice when I had Steven, even the one that was later in the day on the same day that he was born  . But, it was hockey after all.
If all your help is unavailable, just take care of what has to be taken care of and forget the rest. And remember very little really has to be taken care of.
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Patty
mom to four blessings
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Alice R
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No one.
We have no family (I'm an only child and my parents are deceased) and my husband's family is pretty flakey, they live a few hours away and my MIL is furious that we have so many children. (four???)
I have struggled home alone after my C-sections when my husband went back to work. It is bad for the first few days and after that, it isn't so bad. I think the kids just sense that now is not a good time to mess around.
I turly believe that God gives you strength when you need it most. Post partum is one of those times for us.
I pray things are going well for you!
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Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family
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mary
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my dh takes a week off and i so appreciate that help. he takes care of everything. after the week is up, my girlfriends bring me a week or so of food. i'm fortunate in that i have recovered well or that any problems were due to me not slowing down enough rather than birth complications. i do wish that i had a sister/mother/mil available to come and help. i've been able to do it alone, but it sure is hard.
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Dawnie
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My dh takes a week off work, then the grandparents usually each take at least a few days off and come over and help me so that I have a total of about 2 weeks of help. They come over and play with the other kids and bring food, too. There are usually at least a few friends who bring meals over. I freeze meals myself before the baby is born. It seems like cooking dinner is the hardest thing to get back to doing after a birth, for me.
I'm planning on my dh and maybe my mil taking over school for a week or two.
If we could afford it, I would hire cleaning help for the first year. I would really like to hire a teenager to come over for 2 or 3 hours once a week and do the weekly cleaning...that would make a huge difference.
Dawn
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ALmom
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My husband takes a week off. My mom is in town and a real jewel - she always comes and does what is needed and wants to be around the new babies (she really loves children) but she cleans and cooks, entertains olders some (the more physically demanding stuff) while not preventing them from interacting with the baby and I.
I love her adult company and very real assistance and really family life just is great with her here as she has just the knack of when to exit, when to lay low, when to pitch in and when to let me handle it. When my dh is home, she is only there the first day (while I have the baby and to make sure we have a first meal after birth - the midwife always looked forward to the big breakfast my mom makes for all immediately after birth). I had homebirths and she does the loads and loads of laundry the first day and then leaves (sometimes it is to go out shopping for something for her grandchildren or sometimes she is still there but sort of in the background) to allow us bonding time. Then she just makes sure we have meals from somewhere - showing up around mealtimes to be sure if no one from the church is bringing a meal that day and at that point, she generally does the dishes or throws in the laundry or makes sure my dh has clean and ironed shirts for when he goes back to work. Basically she does all the stuff that we generally don't like to do and she buys time for my dh and I to spend together with our family without a lot of logistics to worry about. She follows my dh cues about what he needs, etc.
She stays during the day when dh goes back to work and exits as soon as he arrives back home.
I am very, very fortunate with such a jewel. She even imitates my style of child discipline if she must handle something(though her way was different) and my dc adore her yet do not feel the least bit pushed away as they freely wander between us.
I know I am very, very fortunate and most don't have things as easy. I'm thankful.
Janet
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anniemm
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My husband took 3 weeks off with our first (paternity leave- we were so blessed), and 2 with our second. My mom came both times, but I have little sisters (currently 8,6,3,and 1), so whoever wasn't in school came with her... She was there mostly for moral support and she really helped with meals, as neither time did anyone bring us meals. My husband is *extremely* helpful, and with my first, a c-section, he tooke amazing care of me and my daughter through all sorts of trials and tribulations! My second daughter was a VBAC, and I was feeling SO GREAT (compared to my c-section), that I didn't have too hard of a time jumping back into my role.
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Andrea
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Dawnie
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ALmom wrote:
I know I am very, very fortunate and most don't have things as easy. I'm thankful.
Janet |
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Janet,
That's the kind of grandma I want to be when I grow up!!
Dawn
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Sarah
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For all my kids except the C-section my husband took a week off. Sometimes I had meals brought and sometimes he did the cooking.
I cannot have my mother or MIL here because it is way too stressful. It just doesn't work with the personality issues.
When I had a C-section I had a supercapable girl, one of the oldest of 14, for two weeks during the hours my DH was at work. She did all the laundry, pick-up, helping with the kids, and minor cleaning. She fixed Breakfast and lunch. We still marvel at how amazing she was. I had frozen dinner meals I had cooked in the freezer for three weeks, which worked out perfectly because I only had a few meals brought in. It was providential since I didn't know I was having a CS.
My biggest problem with the kind of help I'm getting right (a Russian cleaning lady) now is the pick-up before she comes to clean. I would not be able to do it postpartum-its exhausting. Also, she's upstairs right now and for the next 3 1/2 hours the entire upstairs is basically off limits, which is impractical now that its cold outside. In my opinion, the best help is from someone who is understanding of families, is quiet and without opinion and picks up, does dishes, is capable with laundry! An Angel?
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momwise
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My dh takes off 4 days. Then my sisters and mom bring a meal the first few days after that and pick up, prepare lunch for the dc or do laundry while they're here. The homeschool moms here stock the new mom's freezer at a frozen food shower and that lasts about 3 weeks.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Postpartum Help
