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LML22
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| Posted: Sept 26 2006 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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I think I am addicted to the computer and/or information from message boards, e-lists, etc. I tend my normal duties like schooling the children, cleaning house, cooking, etc. but my free time is all spent on the computer. I don't play with my children at all because I have no motivation to do so. I would rather just veg on the computer. I think I am a bit depressed too so maybe that is why I am not motivated to do anything with them other than school. I also am constantly seeking information and that is why I am on the computer so much. And I think it has led me to be confused and unable to make decisions. I don't know what I believe anymore about a number of issues because I have read so much. I am confused about spanking, nfp, schooling choices etc. I never was this way before the advent of the internet. I also have been a victim of the "gestapo mom" that several moms have written about here. I have let others make me feel like I am bad for some of the choices I have made so I doubt and question everything. Does anyone know what I should do? (see I can't decide) Maybe go cold turkey from the internet? But I don't know if I can because it would still be in my house. I am so lonely too; not having many hs friends close. I once was addicted to soap operas and thought I never could give them up but did because we got rid of the TV. But like I said, getting rid of the internet is not an option. I have tried several times to cut back but I can't seem to do it.
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: Sept 26 2006 at 11:34pm | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry for your difficulties and I will pray for you tonight. I am going to think about this more and come up with something encouraging when I am not so tired. I should be ironing right now, anyway, instead of being on the computer! I've tried to cut back on my computer time a lot since Luke was born, but I find that if I haven't been to these boards in a week or so, I just sit up long into the night and catch up! And, I get drawn into all the blogs! And, my then my head is spinning with all the great ideas out there! I don't know if I'm really going to be of any help to you... sigh!! 
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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JodieLyn
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Joined: Sept 06 2006
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| Posted: Sept 26 2006 at 11:43pm | IP Logged
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You can always ask your dh to password the computer (and under no circumstance give you the password) so that you can't go on without his help.
Also, make a few things high priority.. take the kids for a walk (the goal being to get outside in the fresh air and sunshine) and be sure you are getting a GOOD multivitamin.. depleting your body of some vitamins cause the same symptoms as depression or depression as a symptom.. and pregnancy can deplete your body sooner or later if you're not keeping up on the demand.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JennGM
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| Posted: Sept 27 2006 at 8:00am | IP Logged
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Time on the computer seems to suck the life out of the rest of the day for me, too. I understand too how depression makes you want to escape your reality and enter the computer world for discussion.
I've been thinking about your post and will throw out a few ideas. I'm not preaching, as I can get sucked into the vortex pretty easily. It's a balance I have to maintain.
First thing I would do is turn off the computer for a few days. It's freeing and it's wonderful. I travel frequently to my mother-in-laws and although she has dial-up, I don't usually get on the computer. We're lost in "doing things". It's at home with the routine that I have to discipline myself.
Secondly, turn the computer off when you're not using it. That keeps down the extra snatches of time to "just check". Having to wait for the boot up will discourage you from just jumping on here and there and lose time.
Thirdly, I would do is go "no mail" for all the e-lists you belong to. Scanning the subject lines for topics that interest you takes up less time.
You use the word "addiction" but is it a matter of self-discipline? I know it is with me. Make a plan that day of what you are to accomplish with your kids...like an extra activity outside, art project, board game... Reserve some time that day for you AFTER you accomplish that. Set a timer and stop when it goes off.
Self-discipline is a huge thing, that only truly comes through grace. So instead of some computer time, spiritual reading, praying, nature walks....get some alone time with God to talk with him. Computer info can be blaring in the head and shuts out the small gentle voice of God.
I was thinking that it isn't necessarily addiction to information gathering...(I'm speaking for me) it's kind of a gossip thing. I don't want to miss out...what are they talking about, what is going on with everyone. It is a connection to the outside adult world, and some great information to help homeschoolers. The downside of being at home is that there isn't some adult time. The computer is nice for that aspect.
But if you are "gathering information," make it purposeful. Ask your question on your e-list or boards. Or, for example, today is the feast of St. Vincent de Paul, so I'm going to search on his life, books about him, sites about him, orders he founded, the country and area he was from, regional cooking ideas, ideas for charity work we could do....but then stop after a certain amount of time and utilize the information. It's all useless if you aren't using it.
I was thinking along the same lines as Jodie, to suggest exercise, fresh air and some vitamins to help with your depression.
If it is TRULY an addiction, Jodie's suggestion about the password is good, or if that doesn't work, rip it out from the wall and not have it in your house. That can only be decided by you and your dh....
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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doris
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| Posted: Sept 27 2006 at 11:30am | IP Logged
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I can so relate to this! Praying for you -- and getting off the computer.... 
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Sept 27 2006 at 11:56am | IP Logged
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This is a challenge, and one that many of us face. You are not alone, and I will pray for you about this issue.
Something that has helped me tremendously in moderating my time on the computer is a program called Enuff PC. My sister had told me about it, she had gotten it to help with her teenage boys' computer use. It has accounts that can be set up with varying amounts of time allotted to them. There is an administator (in my house, it's dh) who sets up the time limits, and whether or not there is web access, etc. It has been very helpful for me to have this external control, when I think my on-line time is getting out of hand.
As an aside, my kids have no-internet accounts, which is great when they want to play their JumpStart computer games. They get 45 minutes, and the timer gives them a 5 min. warning, and then cuts them off when time is up. No fighting or fussing.
But, like I said, it's very helpful for me, too.
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Sept 28 2006 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
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I feel like I can get drawn in too much sometimes--I tend to go on binges of being on a lot, then I don't check in much for a few weeks. Generally it goes along with how lonely or depressed I feel . partly for me it is living overseas and just not having "live" people to relate to, esp. re. homeschool! But when I spend too much time online it leaves me feeling flat and depressed, and sometimes regretting the lost time.
An idea I have used with both the kids and myself is to have a "fast"--a tv and video fast, a computer fast, a shopping fast, usually for one week w/the kids. It can help remind us that, we can live and be content without shopping, or computer, or screen entertainment, or whatever. I went on a 6 week shopping fast once (everything except for groceries!  ), and it permanently changed my habits about shopping!
For now with computer I give myself one or two evenings a week as an outer limit, and I usually stay off it on weekends. For Sundays/Sabbath we often don't turn on the computer, unless we are expecting a specific email concerning details, times, etc. Generally I choose evenings to "browse" when my dh is out or busy. I limit myself to only "keeping up" with ONE main message board (this one ), others I might check for a specific question, but not to really participate in. Those are some guidelines I've recently been sticking with for myself. But if you feel you can't set guidelines and stick to them, some of the suggestions for accountability sound like good ones.
Incidentally I like this board . I've been very happy to find it! I find the tone of things to be very gracious, helpful and encouraging here. There are some others I used to read where I would come away feeling pressure, judgment, etc., they would just cause me to constantly question myself and feel like I came short . . . if there are any that you feel you often come away from feeling these things, avoid them!
I think you are wise to see that maybe loneliness or depression is the problem. I know it takes WORK as a mom, to get yourself and the kids out of the house into some fresh air, or to pursue some avenue to try and meet a friend--and if you are depressed that makes it harder than ever, but it is so important. I have struggled with depression much of my life, even as a child, so--I know. The internet is a too-easy way to fill up the dead-feeling space inside and hold other things at bay. I'm feeling convicted even as I type, that I do this too much, too, and for similar reasons!
Blessings and prayers, and my heart goes out to you tonight!
__________________
Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: computer addition/info addiction
