4Real Forums: Toddler aggressive toward new baby

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Toddler aggressive toward new baby

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cswini
Forum Newbie

Joined: Feb 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 9

Posted: April 13 2005 at 8:11am \| IP Logged

I am looking for ideas for how to deal with my aggressive three-year-old boy. Because of a conversion of heart and other factors, we have four older children, 18, 17, 15 & 13, and then a 3 year old and a five month old. The little three year old is VERY aggressive toward the baby, to the point where I fear he might hurt her. I understand the dynamics here -- he was the focus of soooo much attention before the baby came, and of course he is having trouble giving any of it up to her. But he can't be anywhere near her without punching her, or sitting on her. He is particularly fascinated with her hands -- twisting her wrists, etc. We have tried praise for good behaviour --sticker charts, etc., and punishment for bad -- time outs, but nothing works at all. I'm really at wit's end. Has anyone else encountered this, and if so, what worked? Thank-you so much.

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Catherine, wife to Joe, mother to Ben '86, Laura '88, Samantha '89, Jessica '92, Max '02, & Julia '04

Bridget
Forum All-Star

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198

Posted: April 13 2005 at 8:43am \| IP Logged

Hi Catherine,

I'm sure you thought of these but I'll post anyways.

Get him outside to climb and run. Let him play with sand and play dough. Things that will let him get that aggressive energy out.

Give him lots of cuddle time and read alouds to make sure he is getting the love he needs too. Really, he is still a baby. A toddler baby, but a baby.

I wouldn't allow any unsupervised contact with the baby for him. That means keeping the baby or him right with you at all times. Stop any aggression before he does it. You'll have to watch very closely to see it coming. Do a hand over hand with him to show him how to touch the baby gently.

Talk to him about being the big, strong brother who must protect his little sister like a knight in shining armor.

I would discipline for this, firmly, calmly, consistantly. Along with the other things. But only you know how that works in your family. Ultimately, this stage will pass and he will gain more self control.

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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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