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Angel
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If your twins/multiples came at the beginning or in the middle, what was the spacing between your twins and the next baby?
Our babies are about to turn 1. Because I'm bottle-feeding I had an early return to fertility, but my husband and I both thought a little more space between babies might be prudent. Now that they're about to turn 1, though, we're praying about what to do now. The experiences of those who have "been there and done that" would be helpful.
Thank you!
--Angela
Mom to 3+2
Three Plus Two
Wild Things
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rose gardens
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When my twins were 14 or 15 months old, I concieved again. My husband and I worried about having three children under the age of two, but just as we began to adjust to the idea of another child, I miscarried. The miscarriage happened shortly after my father's funeral--that was a tough month. I concieved again a few months later and that child was born a little over two and a half years after our twins. We try to "plan" our families, but ultimately we aren't in charge.
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Rachel May
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Our twins were first. When they were just about a year, Bill and I decided we would love to have another. By the time we got cold feet, it was too late.  Maria is 21 months younger than they are. The spacing has worked well for us, and whether by coincidence or grace, ALL of our other children are 21 months apart.
Our boys are only moderately active and very attached to each other so they weren't too wild around Maria as a new baby. Mostly they didn't care all that much.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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ladybugs
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I didn't have twins but I did have 4 children 3 and under when the 4th was born.
All I can say, is talk it over with your dh and prayerfully decide. Each situation is different...
Our 4 children are very close to one another - not just in age but they are good friends, too. Sure, we have the moments of less than desirable behavior but unfortunately, I have those moments, as well.
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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onemoretracy
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My twins were my last pregnancy. I had 4 under 4 though because my oldest 2 were very young (3,2) still and they were only 14 mo. apart. Our youngest (adopted) is 3 years younger than my twins.
It was very hard for awhile but my kids are very close. They are great friends. I really love having them so close together and all being interested in similar things at similar times etc.
Twins are so special aren't they?
Also after having twins first, anything else is a piece of cake, right! 
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ALmom
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My mom had her twins just shy of a year after my sis. She talks about it being tough because the 1 yo still wants to be held and carried and she had to carry the twins. But she wouldn't trade it for the world either. Now, my mom was totally surprised at delivery as no one had detected an extra heartbeat - so was my dad. My dad was probably a bit more stressed than my mom simply because he had no idea of the twins and was in school at the time trying to study with all of us 5 and under. My mom did get someone to help out while my brothers were babies - but she also had had no forewarning and no time to plan how to get used to twins - ie they were scrounging to find the extra crib AFTER the boys were born instead of before. She always said that twins were easier once you got past the baby stage.
I think that the surprise was more the stress than having the twins close in age to my sis. She also had no idea what antics twins pulled in their world - so when they communicated and moved the beds, furniture, mattresses, etc. into the middle of the room with everything else dumped there while they were pulling the stuffing out of the mattress - my mom hadn't a clue how they managed it or that this isn't totally unheard of with twins. She did eventually find a mother of twins group that provided ideas and support. That helped a lot.
We all survived, btw, and are close. I do remember my dad complaining about the docs never having the courtesy to write out a seperate bill for each child - simply put X2 on the bill. But that became a sort of inside joke along with how white my dad turned when he realized he had 2 sons instead of one - and the doc was going a bit overboard with the teasing and tried to convince my parents that there was a third.
The rest of us were pretty close in age and some of this did make it harder for my mom - but she did fine. I know my parents would not send any of us back!! But I don't know if they would have gone out of their way to plan it that way. There wasn't much info when they had us - so God planned the perfect family for them. Prayer and discernment with your dh is really the only way to know.
I personally don't have experience with close in age children - though we thought we would have loved it (I had miscarriages between pregnancies and extended times when pregnancy was impossible - we had to trust God in the other direction and realize that whatever spacing we ended up was what God knew best for us).
Janet
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JodieLyn
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I don't have any twins, and I know it's different, but my children are very close together.. spacing is currently anything from 15 months apart to 25 months apart (if this little one comes on time).. with #3 being only 2yr 8 mo when #5 was born. It's doable.. it's hard at times.. lots of fun at times.. but doable.
But then I'll have 7 children 9yr 8 mo and under this coming Nov.
Most people think I'm just a bit nutty   
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Grateful2God
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Hi, I don't have twins either but I do have 7 children and the oldest turned 8 this summer. I agree with the Rose Gardens that God's timing is best. Not easy, but best. Will pray for you to hear what God wants of your family.
Blessings,
Peg
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Angel
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Grateful2God wrote:
Will pray for you to hear what God wants of your family.
Blessings,
Peg
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Peg,
Oh, thank you for your prayers! And thank you to everyone who responded. I'm not sure why spacing another child after the babies seems like such a big deal as they are two children one *minute* apart , but my husband and I are working through a lot of issues in our family, and not just the babies.
--Angela
Mom to 3+2
Three Plus Two
Wild Things
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Donna Marie
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my twins were born first...their brother came 21 months later. They are sort of my triplets...lol It was a bit challenging, but a very blessed time of my life. The next ds came 3.4 years later...then 3 more children. We really felt called to each pregnancy at their unique timings. My first 3 are very close friends. I love to see their relationship develop over time... I still remember all of their carseats lined up and lining them up to change their diapers...LOL I can't believe so much time has gone by! I have been kinda busy...the good kind. I am so glad they are here! I thank God for each call...
God Love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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rose gardens
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Donna Marie wrote:
| ... I still remember all of their carseats lined up and lining them up to change their diapers...LOL I can't believe so much time has gone by! |
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I remember that too!
I understand why Angela, (the original poster) is concerned about spacing following twins. Two babies at once are a lot work, and the thought of a third (or perhaps third and fourth) needy infant can be overwhelming. But while it can seem like forever some days, it's not and before you know it they're older.
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Angel
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rose gardens wrote:
| I understand why Angela, (the original poster) is concerned about spacing following twins. Two babies at once are a lot work, and the thought of a third (or perhaps third and fourth) needy infant can be overwhelming. But while it can seem like forever some days, it's not and before you know it they're older. |
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Well, that's certainly true -- I can't believe my babies will be 1 in two more weeks! And then again, it feels like as if I will never know sleep again, if you know what I mean. If they would only NAP... and preferably TOGETHER... actually, the sleep thing is part of it. The babies don't go to sleep until 10 or 10:30, they're up once or twice during the night, and then bright-eyed and bushy-tailed around 7 AM. If I get 2 thirty minute naps out of them we're having a good day. (Honestly I wish they'd just give up the morning nap entirely, so they'd sleep better at night and in the afternoon.) Of course, I haven't had a decent night's sleep in the past 10 years; you'd think I'd be used to it by now.
I also have to admit to the "it happened once it could happen again" fear -- which I think is more pronounced in my husband. #3 kid is 29 months older than the babies, which isn't actually a bad spacing (although he is still in diapers; we're working on that, though), but the thought of another infant... or another set of twins... or even triplets (I conceived triplets this time, but lost one)... all so close together is a little daunting. However, I think that my husband and I are daunted by different aspects of having children. I have rotten pregnancies, so I'm more daunted by the thought of taking care of my existing children while feeling horribly sick 24/7 and less daunted by what will happen *after* the new child arrives. My husband, on the other hand, is always daunted by the work a new child requires.
My husband isn't Catholic, wasn't raised with any kind of religion, and I don't think he expected me to return quite so *far* to my Catholic roots. (I'm a cradle Catholic who always knew, vaguely, that the Church taught something about children, but was never exposed to what that was until I'd already had 3.) Anyway, he's on the journey, I think, but it is sometimes one step forward, two steps back... I'm like that myself, I guess, except my starting point is different.
In any case, we're trying to define "grave and serious" for ourselves, and it helps to have the experiences of others. I think making the leap and trusting God completely with our family size might have been easier if we'd only had one baby, but then we wouldn't get to love these two little guys.
--Angela
Mom to 3+2
Three Plus Two
Wild Things
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rose gardens
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Angel wrote:
| If they would only NAP... and preferably TOGETHER... actually, the sleep thing is part of it. |
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Oh, I definately know what you mean! I posted a thread about my singleton baby's naps today--one of my twins is particularly guilty of waking her up.
But the twins naps! I eventually gave up on trying and just put them to bed very early at night. (That helped.) I remember one time when they were suppose to be napping I found them jumping naked in their cribs. (Diaper removal was a whole other problem that I won't post.  Duct tape with their jammies reversed fixed that problem.) My girl twin needed more sleep than her twin brother, but he wouldn't let her nap. Hee, hee, I guess he's been keeping babies from napping ever since he was a baby himself. Thank you for the memories.
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MEBarrett
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My twins are 7 weeks old today. I would have a pile more right now if I could.
Close togther is hard at first but I think it isn't wise to make a life long decision based on one or two tough years. If everyone did that no one would go to college or take an entry level job. Or homeschool their kids . Like it's been said before God's timing is best and if it is close it will be wonderful for them in the long run. And you as well, the younger you are when they are getting married the more active grandma you'll be 
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Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
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MichelleW
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My oldest is adopted, so while I didn't birth twins, the spacing was like twins. My two boys are 4 months apart, my daughter is 15 months younger than my middle. When she came along dh and I were going through some hard things as well. It was a difficult time, but she is so sweet that I think in many ways she was the gift we needed to get through that time. My children are also very close now, they have a bond that is truly beautiful. They are such dear friends to one another, and schooling them is easier, I think. They are all at basically the same level.
Blessings to you and your family,
Michelle
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: For those who have twins/multiples...
