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Syncletica
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| Posted: Aug 27 2014 at 1:52pm | IP Logged
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There's a lady who I often see working at the grocery store and we seem to 'click'.
Today is her last day working there.
We got talking and she is having a really rough go of things right now. Apparently her husband wants a divorce from her. He changed all the locks on their house and told her he didn't love her anymore, to try and move on. She is devastated.
He is shacked up now with another woman - one she knows from a church she used to go to.
So, I gather from that that she is Protestant.
She also told me that a number of men have asked to take her out for supper, but she says "I'm still married."
She's supposed to go see a lawyer in a week.
My time to do any good is short.
She will be coming over tonight, and I hope to talk with her about what the bible teaches - that if it was a valid marriage, she won't be free to marry again. Obviously I'll have to work up to that very gently - but I just want to make her aware that remarriage really isn't a possibility, if this present one is valid, and to perhaps help give hope that all isn't over yet. Maybe she can win him back!
Any thoughts or advice? It seems a hopeless situation...what can she do if he wants nothing to do with her?
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stacykay
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| Posted: Aug 27 2014 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
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This poor woman. I don't have any advice, from a Biblical standpoint, and I hate to say it, but I guess I'd tell her to find the best lawyer she can.
I'd also think her husband has to be violating some sort of law for locking her out of her home. I'm sure all of his actions will present the judge in their divorce with a very clear idea of his character.
One of best friends had to watch her sister go through a very painful divorce, which the sister did not want at all. Her sister tried reconciling all along, did not push for any sort of support, and sadly, after 25 years of marriage, she was left with nothing. She is now scrambling to support herself.
I sure wish there was a source of good Catholic advice on this for women facing this.
I will pray for this lady. 
In Christ,
Stacy in MI (very grateful for my loving dh!)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 27 2014 at 6:48pm | IP Logged
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I'm praying, too.
Were I you (and I recognize that I am not you), I would set aside the Biblical discussion for now and just offer prayers, friendship and basic practical advice (don't discuss your divorce in emails or on message boards, and so on). If she's Protestant, she may not view marriage in the same way as a Catholic would, in terms of the possibility of remarriage, and, from what you have said, that's the absolute last thing on her mind anyway. She clearly still considers herself married.
Nothing's over until it's over, but good legal advice is really what she needs right now, in addition to prayer.
Thank you for caring about her.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 27 2014 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
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Echoing Nancy, and possibly getting into the Biblical stuff, but she might find it easier to deal with the legal aspects of protecting herself if you bring up the idea that a divorce is a civil proceeding and not a religious one.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Aug 29 2014 at 10:52am | IP Logged
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Praying with and for her is certainly important. You might also suggest that she pray for her husband.
It's equally important that she have some kind of legal help as well, especially since she has been locked out of her home. Many communities have some kind of legal aid services available. Since she's working at a grocery store her income likely isn't high; she may qualify for free or low cost legal help.
Praying for her, and for you as you encourage her during this difficult time. May the Lord give all parties wisdom and discernment.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Aug 29 2014 at 2:09pm | IP Logged
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Adding my prayers for this family
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Aagot
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| Posted: Aug 29 2014 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
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At this point I would tell her you are praying for her and then listen to her. Praying for her husband is good too but I would not imply that he might change his mind and come back. Moving forward and obtaining legal help is necessary.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Urgent advice needed re: pending divorce
