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misswallo
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 6:43am | IP Logged
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I know many of you have been asked this question...right? People have told me that "you'll know when you are done" With all my babies I have always yearned for just one more and would pray for more. We now have six..God has been faithful. I feel so guilty now that I don't have "that feeling" of wanting another child. I feel very content with our family size and my husband really feels done. I am always open to God's will and at 42, I realize it is still a possibility. Have any of you gone through this? It's weird to me to feel this way since before my sixth child the desire to have another baby was so strong.
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Missy-married in 1997 dd(99) dd(01) dd(04) dd(06) ds(09) and ds(12)
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ekbell
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 9:02am | IP Logged
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Six children here as well (and I'm almost 42)
We feel done as well. There are sufficiently serious reasons to refrain from inviting another child into our lives for me to not feel guilty about feeling that way, but it does feel strange to have a toddler and not be waiting on another baby.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 9:46am | IP Logged
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Feelings may or may not be truth.
I personally hate that question.. how totally invasive, like they have any business in that conversation that is between my husband, myself and God.
I've gotten to the point that I didn't feel any burning desire to have more babies.. and still had more babies because I also didn't have any strong feeling/reason for not doing so. I'd come to the conclusion some time ago that having babies should be the norm.. and so rather than needing a specific desire to have another baby, I waited for the specific desire/need to not have another baby.
And I think we should always strive to be content with whatever we have.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Martha
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 9:52am | IP Logged
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I think it's normal to feel not so much done as not burning eager to have another soon. Sometimes that's through phases of all the kids being sick with flue for a month. Sometimes I just feel old. Or we start thinking about costs or whatever. Or we just are very happy as we are.
It's a new phase, but not a bad one.
All that matters is being open to life.
We respond to that question with, "We have no idea. But we have a policy of not telling God no and we are very happy with it so far."
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 10:05am | IP Logged
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After # 4, I was so burnt out, I did not think I would *desire* a baby again, and I was so scared when I was pregnant with #5. For me, it is not the baby so much as the pregnancy, but still. I felt like I would be okay if we didn't have another, but we did.
And now, I feel like I would be so sad if he were my last. He is so sweet, a much less temperamental baby, was an easier birth, etc... But I feel like I should take an extra yesr to allow my body to recover, my children be nurtured, etc...
Feelings change. And decisions and life don't always take them into account.
I, too, hate that question a) because it is an invasion of privacy, but b) because who in heck knows??? My feeling when I have a 3 month old are bound to be different than when I have a 3 year old, yk?
I don't think you always know. Dh is the youngest of 12, and his priest uncle said when he was born, "I married you, and I'll baptise your last child." His mom was only 36, and she sure didn't know he would be their last, but he was. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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misswallo
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 5:49pm | IP Logged
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Thanks ladies..good to know I am not the only one who has these feelings. I agree with you, Jodie, that feelings may or may not be truth. I know things can change as well. I am not sure what the reasons are for these feelings...my 6th child is pretty easy for the most part. Although, right now at 19 months he gets into mischief...earlier today I had to rescue two remotes and a toy from our toilet..ahem, a toilet that someone didn't flush. I feel old and tired and my husband says the same. My children would love another sibling and I am certain if we found out we were pregnant we would be happy. Thanks for the vent.
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Missy-married in 1997 dd(99) dd(01) dd(04) dd(06) ds(09) and ds(12)
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folklaur
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| Posted: May 20 2014 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
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We're done.
We have three plus one in Heaven. I used to want more, but honestly, I am quite content now.
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mom3aut1not
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| Posted: May 21 2014 at 7:17pm | IP Logged
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We're done unless a miracle occurs. I have definitely hit menopause.
After the birth of my last child (now a teen), I had a sense of completion that I never had before after my other children. It is interesting especially as I had a very strong desire for our last child.
I don't think I have ever been asked if we are done. It probably helps that we have a smaller family than many (4 kids). With our last, I was
1) asked if I was "Grandma"
2) told that we were trying for a boy (We weren't.)
3) asked if our last was an accident many, many times (Our last was born 12 years after the next-to-last.)
In Christ,
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Deborah
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Are you done??
