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Bridget
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For anyone who has read the book, does Cormac Burke address the topic of submission and headship? I can find loads of protestant writing on the subject. I have not been able to find much within a Catholic context.
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ALmom
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Bridget, I don't know the direct answer to your question but I do know that Fr. Fox is in the process of writing a book for men about headship sort of like the Protestant series (the wife wrote one for the women about submission and the husband wrote one about headship for the men). I don't know of any Catholic books for women on the subject so it would be interesting to see the answer to your question.
Janet
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Mary G
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ALmom wrote:
Bridget, I don't know the direct answer to your question but I do know that Fr. Fox is in the process of writing a book for men about headship sort of like the Protestant series (the wife wrote one for the women about submission and the husband wrote one about headship for the men). I don't know of any Catholic books for women on the subject so it would be interesting to see the answer to your question.
Janet |
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I think the one by Alicevon Hildebrand, Privilege of Being a Woman definitely covers this. Genevieve Kineke is just about to release one called The Authentic Catholic Woman -- I'm supposed to be getting a review copy so I'll let you know if that would fit.
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MicheleQ
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Bridget,
I've loaned my book out but I don't recall anything in in about submission or headship.
There are loads of Protestant stuff on the topic but frankly most of them have it wrong.
Dr. Alice von Hildebrand's books are good on the Catholic understanding of this subject. I am reading By Love Refined right now and have The Priveledge of Being a Woman next on my list.
But in my opinion one of the best explanations of this is found in JPII's Mulieris Dignitatem where he writes:
The Gospel "innovation"
24. The text is addressed to the spouses as real women and men. It reminds them of the "ethos" of spousal love which goes back to the divine institution of marriage from the "beginning". Corresponding to the truth of this institution is the exhortation: "Husbands, love your wives", love them because of that special and unique bond whereby in marriage a man and a woman become "one flesh" (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31). In this love there is a fundamental affirmation of the woman as a person. This affirmation makes it possible for the female personality to develop fully and be enriched. This is precisely the way Christ acts as the bridegroom of the Church; he desires that she be "in splendour, without spot or wrinkle" (Eph 5:27). One can say that this fully captures the whole "style" of Christ in dealing with women. Husbands should make their own the elements of this style in regard to their wives; analogously, all men should do the same in regard to women in every situation. In this way both men and women bring about "the sincere gift of self".
The author of the Letter to the Ephesians sees no contradiction between an exhortation formulated in this way and the words: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife" (5:22-23). The author knows that this way of speaking, so profoundly rooted in the customs and religious tradition of the time, is to be understood and carried out in a new way: as a "mutual subjection out of reverence for Christ" (cf. Eph 5:21). This is especially true because the husband is called the "head" of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church; he is so in order to give "himself up for her" (Eph 5:25), and giving himself up for her means giving up even his own life. However, whereas in the relationship between Christ and the Church the subjection is only on the part of the Church, in the relationship between husband and wife the "subjection" is not one-sided but mutual.
In relation to the "old" this is evidently something "new": it is an innovation of the Gospel. We find various passages in which the apostolic writings express this innovation, even though they also communicate what is "old": what is rooted in the religious tradition of Israel, in its way of understanding and explaining the sacred texts, as for example the second chapter of the Book of Genesis.49
The apostolic letters are addressed to people living in an environment marked by that same traditional way of thinking and acting. The "innovation" of Christ is a fact: it constitutes the unambiguous content of the evangelical message and is the result of the Redemption. However, the awareness that in marriage there is mutual "subjection of the spouses out of reverence for Christ", and not just that of the wife to the husband, must gradually establish itself in hearts, consciences, behaviour and customs. This is a call which from that time onwards, does not cease to challenge succeeding generations; it is a call which people have to accept ever anew. Saint Paul not only wrote: "In Christ Jesus... there is no more man or woman", but also wrote: "There is no more slave or freeman". Yet how many generations were needed for such a principle to be realized in the history of humanity through the abolition of slavery! And what is one to say of the many forms of slavery to which individuals and peoples are subjected, which have not yet disappeared from history?
But the challenge presented by the "ethos" of the Redemption is clear and definitive. All the reasons in favour of the "subjection" of woman to man in marriage must be understood in the sense of a "mutual subjection" of both "out of reverence for Christ". The measure of true spousal love finds its deepest source in Christ, who is the Bridegroom of the Church, his Bride.
God bless,
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cvbmom
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A friend told me about a book called "How to Change Your Husband" which she said taught her A LOT about submitting to her husband. I think she said it was written by "A Friend of Medjugorje" and was part of a Caritas (I think that's it) movement. I know nothing about Caritas or the source of this book, but she really said it was life changing. Has anyone else heard of this one?
Christine
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Elizabeth
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I've read it. Unfortunate title; my dd was quite upset by the title. It does certainly deal with submission. I read it about a year ago and I can't remember specifics, but I found it very similar to the Protestant books I was reading at the time, though certainly lacking in winsome writing style. I'll have to dust it off tonight to get some detail.
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MicheleQ
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cvbmom wrote:
| A friend told me about a book called "How to Change Your Husband" which she said taught her A LOT about submitting to her husband. Has anyone else heard of this one? |
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I don't have it but saw it years ago. I thought it was rather Protestant in it's presentation of submission. It seemed very one-sided to me. Personally I prefer Dr. Alice's books and the way she writes about unity and each spouse submitting to the other and helping the other to reach their potential. It speaks to my experience more. I do understand that the husband is the head but there's a difference in what that means in terms of the way we as Catholic understand it and Protestants do. In some of the Protestant books I have read there was often a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) message of using one's submission in manipulative way to control the relationship. Some of the authors even addressed it and claimed it really wasn't manipulation but it was unsettling nonetheless.
God bless,
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StephanieA
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It seemed very one-sided to me. Personally I prefer Dr. Alice's books and the way she writes about unity and each spouse submitting to the other and helping the other to reach their potential. (Michele's quote)
I am with Michele. Years ago, I read scads of Protestant books on headship, trying to find one that I agreed with. It finally dawned on me that the Protestant concept was wrong. Duh! I remember reading about one woman who was so convinced never to second-guess her husband's financial decisions that after several very poor investments, the family was bankrupt. She was satisfied though, because she never questioned his authority. Somehow she saw this as biblical.
The goal is to both make it to heaven and thus our guys need our input.Two heads are better than one. Our husbands didn't get married to do this on their own. My husband said he would be very upset if I knew he was making a poor decision and didn't chime in.
I received some perspective from "The Head of the Family" by Clayton Barbeau also. This book was reprinted and carried by Sophia Press at one time. It does speak more to the man, but it is well worth a read. You can't beat Dr. A. Hildebrand's audio tapes on the role of women either. I think HLI had a few I bought several years back.
Blessings,
Stephanie
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Lisbet
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I have read 'How to Change your Husband' many times. It has helped me alot, b/c I really used to struggle with this area. While I agree, it can seem quite protestant, it really did help me to surrender more of myself. I am reading Covenated Happiness right now, and while it's no specific on submission, I LOVE how profoundly he stresses masculinity and femininty. This book is truely awesome.
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