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TryingMyBest
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| Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
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I hesitate to bring this up because it's pretty negative but is anyone familiar with the Homeschoolers Anonymous movement? See this.
There are other blogs as well from homeschooled kids who are now grown up.
The stories are pretty awful and they're really disturbing me. Are these cases outliers? Is the real problem here fundamentalism, in particular the really hardcore patriarchal, Quivering version of fundamentalism that seems to dominate these stories?
Are there horror stories out there about Catholic homeschooled kids?
Jenn
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
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There's horror stories of kids no matter how they're schooled.
If you want actual facts/stats try Nheri.org
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 1:11pm | IP Logged
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What Jodie said.
Everyone loves a train wreck, so these stories get a lot of online traction.
You don't hear as often about the amazing number of homeschool success stories, such as my former student, who got a full ride to Notre Dame and is majoring in math; or another of my former students, who was selected for the National Evangelization Team, spent his NET year touring the US and leading Catholic workshops for teens and is now a video producer - when he's not studying for his college classes; or one of the young men in our homeschool book club, who's a freshman at Penn State at age 16 (and has also founded and run his own charitable organization).
There are so many homeschool success stories! Statistically, homeschoolers do quite well in school and beyond, and, according to this infographic, only 2% say they wish they had not been homeschooled.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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SallyT
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| Posted: Dec 11 2013 at 2:26pm | IP Logged
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What both Jodie and Nancy said. I don't mean to downplay the actual experiences of these people, because I think that element is out there, though in what numbers it's hard to say.
I do periodically read blogs by adults who were homeschooled (and are either positive or negative about their experiences), because I think it's a useful corrective for myself in some ways. I think that for the young adults who look back on their experiences with negativity, there are, maybe, some common denominators, mostly boiling down to their not having felt that their parents viewed them as individual people in their own right: they were hyper-controlled, or (in some cases) physically abused, or expected to be parents to their younger siblings (rather than just helpful older siblings), or otherwise caught up in something extreme which, they feel, deprived them of their childhoods and the love and respect of their parents.
I don't want to make sweeping generalizations about a particular sector of the homeschooling world, but most of those stories do seem to emerge from that particular movement you mention, Jenn. I don't know of any other demographic within homeschooling that has organized "survivor" groups. I know individual Catholic young adults who are more or less unhappy with their own homeschooling experience, and some who are more or less on the outs with their parents for one reason or another, but again, *nothing* like Homeschoolers Anonymous. Not even close.
At the same time, I also encounter young adults who have emerged happy, well-adjusted, well-educated, successful in their current endeavors, and grateful for their homeschool experience. If there's a common denominator to their experiences, I think it's the opposite of what the "negative" group experienced: that through homeschooling they experienced their parents' love, the sense that their parents knew, trusted, and respected them as people, the goodness of the family, the freedom to read and learn, and so on.
I also have former co-op students who've all gone on to do well in college, to pursue interesting dreams and vocations, and to be terrific, well-adjusted young adults. One of my daughter's early friends, from our old unschooling group, is majoring in Circus Arts at the Chicago College of Art (Chicago Art Institute? I'm blanking on the name of this institution) -- anyway, she may win for "most interesting post-homeschooling career." I have friends whose grown homeschooled children are graduate students . . . one is a teacher at the Highlands Latin School in Louisville, KY (home of Memoria Press) . . . others have embarked on married life and children. I haven't seen, firsthand, any of the kind of angry "I survived homeschooling" stuff, and I know, personally, a fair cross-section of young adults who were homeschooled.
So I don't think Homeschoolers Anonymous is *the* story of homeschooling, or the inevitable outcome. Reading things like that makes me sick to my stomach, but not because I worry that much that my own kids are going to grow up and join a survivors' network. Part of it is sorrow for those whose childhoods really were warped by abuse; part of it is just that there's something about identifying with "survival" of an experience that does not seem to be very psychologically or spiritually healthy, and people seem to feed on it -- that almost obsessive act of storytelling -- in a way that seems scary to me, especially in an unregulated community like a blog. Who's there to channel all that stuff, or help people process it and move on? Nobody, as far as I can see. And that in itself is problematic.
Sally
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MaryM
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Jenn, I haven't had a chance to look at the source you linked. But, yes, I am familiar with blog posts and movements of former homeschoolers who are sharing negative experiences. But on the opposite side, there are also former homeschoolers out there, now grown, who are now homeschooling their own children and sharing positive experiences as both students and now teachers.
I would answer yes to your question about if these negative cases are outliers - yes, it seems that they are - especially anything related to abuse and neglect. In those cases "homeschooling" really is a shield to the family behaviors not an educational choice that defines the majority of the homeschool movement. Many of these do often look to be linked with an extreme fundamentalism or in many cases no faith orientation - just abusive families.
So looking beyond the extreme or abusive cases - it is legitimate to acknowledge that not all people who were homeschooled view their experience positively, even when it was in what seems to be a positive environment; just as not everyone would view their school experience positively even in a "good" school. People's experiences have many variables and perceptions are shaped by many things.
I know you are just getting ready to start out, and I would encourage you not to give too much stock to these types of stories and focus instead on how you can create the environment in your homeschool that fosters a love a learning, an enjoyment of the time together, the flexibility to adapt, the freedom to be an individual, opportunities to connect with others for support.
For others out there - a question...
What elements would you include as fundamental to the foundation of a positive homeschool?
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Mary M. in Denver
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MaryM
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Was working on my reply when Sally posted so didn't read that before posting. Thanks, Sally, for posting such a thoughtful response. I think your insights into some common threads in families and that impact on the perceptions of adult graduates holds much merit. And gets us back to brainstorming, what elements we should be focusing on in our homeschools for that foundation.
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Mary M. in Denver
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JodieLyn
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Oh another thing to consider. Children may view being homeschooled negatively depending on those around them. I have a good friend who's oldest was very down on being homeschooled as a teen because most people they were around her age thought homeschooling was weird and she got the perception that she wasn't as well educated as her peers.
Then she left for college. And she started hearing the true stories about what some teens deal with in high schools and was able to accurately judge how her education was holding up and meet people her age that thought she was lucky for being homeschooled instead of weird.. and she's rapidly deciding that far from being a bad thing like she'd been saying for 4 yrs, she was finding it to be a good thing.
So someone barring abuse of course (but you can find abuse in the public schools, ask anyone who's been subject to extensive bullying), but some people may not see, or allow themselves to see, the benefits from homesschooling. Some people just feel a great need to find everything that's ever been wrong for them is their family's fault and so things like their parents jobs (home too much or not enough) or the number of siblings(all sisters or all brothers, or not enough or too many, etc) or how much money or how the money was spent.. whatever it is, they'd rather blame their family of origin than take any responsibility. There is a great many people these days with a HUGE entitlment attitude. Nothing is ever their fault and they *deserve* to have the best of all things without actually putting forth any effort.
So you also need to keep in mind the attitude of the individual and that their attitude may be heavily coloring their perspective.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SallyT
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True that. I'm one of those people who went to a very good school (for 14 years, so I had a lot of time to experience it), and although now I can acknowledge that I got an excellent education, and I'm still friends with people I went to school with, I was not happy there as a student. In my young adult life I was rather bitter about that, as well as various other things about my upbringing about which I'm able to be a lot more philosophical now. Young adults often don't have the kind of perspective that enables them to view with any kind of sympathy things their parents did in their teenaged years, so that's something to bear in mind as well.
Mary, I really like your question about fundamentals of a positive homeschool, though of course we all know that there's no perfect formula that's going to cause our adult children to fall down in gratitude before us! And maybe that's one important element . . . knowing that there's no failsafe formula, only God's grace.
Sally
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Erin
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Jenn
I am familiar with many of those type of blogs and stories, I read them from time to time and find them quite distressing.
And yes I know hsers personally who are quite negative about their homeschooling experience but as I tactfully point out to them (these are people I'm quite close too) alot of what they are blaming hsing for as their negative childhood is entwined with the fact that they come from unhappy marriages. It's not hsing per se that was unhealthy it's their family situation. I do hope I've put this tactfully as possible.
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: Homeschoolers Anonymous?
