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MelissaClaire
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How do you work presents among siblings for Christmas? My kids have always made things for each other to exchange on Christmas Eve, but as they get older and there's more of them (7 kids ages 11 and down) and with the burden of me needing to help everyone make said gifts--it's getting to be a lot--especially with a newborn.
They've already stated making lists of things to make or buy for each other--some simple things like nail polish, or making a bookmark or a pack of gum, but some more costly things like legos or construction vehicles and baby dolls. I want them to be generous, but we just can't bank roll it all.
How does it work in your house? Do the kids exchange gifts with each other? Do they make them or buy them? Who funds the purchases? Do you set a price limit?
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LeeAnn
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I set a $ per person limit. I fund it mostly. Church bazaars or community craft fairs are a good place for kids to find inexpensive gifts, or even thrift shops. I try to take each child separately to a different kind of store, but I only have four kids. :) Is there a grandparent or aunt/uncle who could take a kid or two and help them do their shopping? Ideally my kids would hand craft gifts thoughtfully months in advance, funded by their own savings earned by their own labor, but this doesn't always happen, and I'd rather help fund them being generous and thoughtful to each other than not.
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JodieLyn
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Name draw and price limit.. we do $7.50 because we found $5 was just not quite enough to end up with quality gifts.. I couldn't stand all the junk when they were trying to buy something for each sibling with limited funds.
And thinking about it.. it'll be good as they grow up too. They'll already have the idea in place of name draws and they can continue that into adulthood with drawing by families or by doing name draws in other ways (adults for adults and kids for kids). I think it'll work ok even after they leave home... until they get married while the others are still little.. then we might have to have an interim solution.
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Erica Sanchez
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We adopted a tradition of a past babysitter and her family. We draw names and you fill the stocking for that person. We have had a $10 or $15 limit. It has become hugely successful for these reasons:
- It was exhausting for me to fill stockings for many children.
- I had wanted to tone down Santa overall and this helped with that since Santa would normally fill the stockings.
- It fills the need for the siblings to buy for each other which we hadn't allowed only because like Jody said above I can't take all the junk. Now there is a little junk, but not so much as they really try to get things their person wants.
- It is totally secret so you get a bit of that secret Santa excitement. On Christmas Eve, we lay all stockings out on the table in order and then divide up and hide in bedrooms. Someone is secretly sent from one room and then another until everyone has had a turn. Later that night when everyone is asleep, I put them out in front of the presents and we open first thing in the morning with one person starting until each has been passed out. Super fun. I am so happy we started this tradition.
- Oh. Babies and toddlers get partnered with mom or dad or oldest teen if needed.
- Older children with some kind of income pay for their gifts and we help the younger set.
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Betsy
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Erica, I love your tradition! Thanks for sharing. 
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CrunchyMom
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That sounds awesome, Erica.
Our plan this year was to match funds for the gifts and letting the boys know they could go in together for a gift if it was more than they thought they could spend. But, I'll have to run the stocking idea past dh and see what he thinks! The only thing I have for stockings for Christmas morning this year are some gummy army men 
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Betsy
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| The only thing I have for stockings for Christmas morning this year are some gummy army men |
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Oh, you are a cool Mom! 
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Kristie 4
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We do a name draw- it is supposed to be secret but I let my daughter 'pick' my youngest because she wants to sew him some bowties (he is infatuated with ties and the ones you tie yourself are hard to find!). I help the kids with the money for the gifts as we do very minimal gift giving to the children ourselves.
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DominaCaeli
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Love your idea, Erica!
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knowloveserve
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I love the stocking idea too but how does it work for those still believing in the coming of St. Nick (thinking here specifically of my 7 year old who is starting to wonder…)?
I am torn on doing a name draw.
In my family of origin we did this and it was novel at first but then I didn't like it; I never drew the person I REALLY had good ideas for or felt closest too and eventually, (there are 9 of us adult children now… with significant others thrown in the mix) I dropped out of the drawing (along with two other siblings) because they all live in a different city from me and we don't travel on Christmas day anymore and they weren't willing to move the present tradition to another day… it felt like the fun was gone. The other two siblings who dropped out feel similarly… but strangely the family just goes on doing this without us. Oh well, you can't please them all!
I was all set to do a name draw but a friend of mine mentioned how they quit doing that because her kids felt like they couldn't give gifts to anyone else and it felt kind of like a chore to mandate who had who. And she has a similar experience of adult sibling name draws that she doesn't love anymore too. So among her kids, they do just gifting in an organic way and basically the older kids make or buy gifts for everyone and she helps out the youngers…
I like the IDEA of having a natural gift giving impetus… but our family is getting bigger too and it's a lot to think about.
I think I WANT to draw names but need to be convinced that it still is special for families who've been doing it for a while.
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JodieLyn
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Oh we do that too.. ajust the name draw if someone has a particular idea in mind for a particular sibling.
One year for the adults my mom and sis and I sat down and figured out who had what to give (not giving away the items) so that we bought the least extra rather than doing a name draw.
For that matter you could do a name rotation so that everyone gets a chance to buy everyone else a present (of course with 10 kids that could take a while to get to everyone here).
A blind name draw is only one way to do it.
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CrunchyMom
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Ellie, St. Nicholas fills our stockings on his feast day. I'm not entirely sure what the little ones think about his coming on Christmas Day, so I'd have to figure that out before we switched to name drawing/stockings if we went that route.
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SeaStar
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We did a name draw in my family for years growing up.
It really takes the pressure off having to buy several gifts on a limited budget.
To make it even easier, draw names and have a set theme.
Ex. One year the theme was food- everyone bought a special food treat for the person whose name he/she drew.
That could be a special coffee/tea for teens and older, or a fun bottle of sparkling cider, or a six pack of a favorite soda or even shelf stable chocolate milk. A box or two of a favorite cereal, Chik Filet/McDonalds gift certifiactes, a couple of bags of Goldfish in a favorite flavor... endless possibilities here. Oh- one year there was even a special batch of fudge made for a lucky person.
Other themes we used: socks (it was fun to shop for a pair to match the recipient's personality), books (check the bargain shelfs at the book stores), games... mitten/gloves, a special Christmas ornament (made or bought), chore vouchers ( having one person do another person's chores for a week or month).
It was really fun that way- low stress and budget friendly.
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knowloveserve
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| Ellie, St. Nicholas fills our stockings on his feast day. I'm not entirely sure what the little ones think about his coming on Christmas Day, so I'd have to figure that out before we switched to name drawing/stockings if we went that route. |
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Us too, and we plan to keep it on the 6th… but I was just wondering. 
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Pilgrim
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This thread has been a big help. The children always want to give gifts to everybody, this ensures that everyone gets to give AND receive gifts. I also like the suggestion that if a certain sibling has an idea for a certain other sibling they could be given that sibling, even if in secret, so the others don't feel "cheated" out of choosing a favorite sibling.
Thanks for an answer to a problem that is just starting to creep up for us, as 3 at once are becoming more aware of money, gift giving, etc.
It's great to be able to allow, and encourage, generosity within a smaller budget!
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Erin
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Can I be the different voice?  I've suggested the 'pick a sibling' present idea but they are never keen. Each child likes to give to their siblings.
They keep the costs down and are all good at really stretching the dollar, sometimes a more pricey gift will be a joint present to a few siblings. We don't do pocket money but prior to Christmas they do extra jobs to earn money to pay for siblings gifts. The older children have their own income so they cover their costs.
I enjoy seeing the love and thought and effort they put into gifts for their siblings.
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Erica Sanchez
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knowloveserve wrote:
| I love the stocking idea too but how does it work for those still believing in the coming of St. Nick (thinking here specifically of my 7 year old who is starting to wonder…)? |
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That is a great question. We put shoes out on the 6th and celebrate St. Nicholas that day. All children of all ages still receive one present from Santa on Christmas morning. We have downplayed Santa quite a bit, but I am not remembering how it all happened. We still put cookies out and use special paper for the Santa presents, but it isn't really talked about all that much as far as waiting for Santa and what Santa will bring, etc. We've done the stockings thing for a number of years and maybe it began when the older set already 'knew' and the younger set was young enough to not really know anything.
When I get a minute later, I will forward an idea of flipping St. Nicholas's feast day with Christmas morning. A local family has been doing it for years and I thought it almost brilliant for those that really like to do the whole Santa thing. They do it all, Santa, stockings, everything, on the 6th with the idea that the tradition of Santa is St. Nicholas. And, then their Christmas is all about Jesus and Mass and family. She said she can't control what extended family gave or did on Christmas, but for her family it made for a very peaceful and beautiful Christmas.
We've had both Midnight and morning Mass commitments these past few years so I have had to think about our traditions a bit more as there just isn't the time in the morning. We have done our stocking on Christmas Eve once or twice and that was lovely.
Long ago when our oldest was maybe 4, a check-out gal at the grocery store asked her all excitedly and with great animation who was coming for Christmas and our dd answered back with as much enthusiasm, "Jesus!" I did not expect that answer and I know the cashier did not. Maybe our downplaying of Santa began then? :)
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Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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LLMom
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We do a secret pal type thing starting on St. Nick's day. Each child draws a name and does special things for that person during advent. On Christmas eve, they give a gift to their pal. We have a $5 limit. I have several older kids who are getting a bit big for this so we may just drop it or just do a gift exchange.
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Kathryn
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I actually had an idea yesterday I presented to my DD 14 that she liked...each sibling could buy each other sibling a pair of socks! I kind of thought it funny at first b/c they ALL need socks and while it would prob. be more fun for the girls, my DS desperately needs socks too. I figured they could easily find something under $ (even dollar store) and it was useful.
My father-in-law and his siblings have exchanged ornaments for years which I thought was another great/inexpensive idea. Just think how many ornaments each child would have by the time they started their own nest and the memories!
So, with those 2 ideas they seemed relatively cheap and easy to focus on a particular item without long drawn out shopping trips (or craft making days).
HTH someone.
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JodieLyn
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Oh don't count the boy socks out.. Target has Christmas dress socks for men..I got my 15 yr old red and white striped ones 
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Christmas gifts among siblings?
