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leanne maree
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| Posted: July 16 2013 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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Ok.
We have never given our children mobiles as a rule, but dd is the last one at home.
She is 15.
She has asked for an iPhone.
I am not keen. We ended up giving her an old Nokia for emergencies- it was only given to late last week.
The issue is she is away from home 4 days a week. Long afternoons til evening at ballet. At times, she has been un well and needed to contact us. And I wanted to make sure she was ok, and Had no contact with her.
So should I give her an iPhone knowing that she can connect to social media very easily or ......
Just need some guidance from you ladies of such wisdom.
Leanne 
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 16 2013 at 11:17pm | IP Logged
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I would not do a smartphone because for us the cost of the data is too too much. But we do allow phones with unlimited texting.. and we did get phones with qwerty keyboards available.
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leanne maree
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| Posted: July 16 2013 at 11:28pm | IP Logged
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Hi Jodie
The cost of the smartphone isnt an issue.. we can bundle it.
We have a txt and call option.
Thats not a problem..
Its more the social media side of it..The access they have to so much stuff...
she is a really good dd. no problems and very compliant.
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Leanne
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Erin
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Leanne
Was talking about this very issue with a friend recently, we haven't done phones until they have left home as we just lend dc my phone when they go to town and may need to ring home. Friend buys a $30 prepaid card, to last for 6 months. Her dc ring home, and hang up then friend rings child back. She said this way if they use up $30 before the six months she wants to know why. Elimates texting, chatting to friends etc. Now you might be happy to give her more credit, but pre-paid means you know where it is going. I'd suggest just buying a basic $80 phone, no iphone so no internet issues then.
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leanne maree
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Hi Erin.
Thanks for your no.
We have a phone for her.
Next week will be the beginning of how she will all go.
Thanks for your input
Leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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Erin
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| Posted: July 17 2013 at 4:56am | IP Logged
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leanne maree wrote:
| she is a really good dd. no problems and very compliant. |
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Leanne
You've summed it up here really, B is a great girl, extremely compliant. You've really done a great job  
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Erin
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leanne maree
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| Posted: July 17 2013 at 5:14am | IP Logged
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Erin. That's so sweet. Thank you. You've made my night
She is adorable.
Really knows how to be a family player.
It is a pleasure and an honour being able guide her.
Leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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knowloveserve
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In my opinion, there is no need whatsoever for children or teens to have smartphones at all. Cell phones, with text... fine. But aside from the temptations of social media and too much privacy in the online world, smartphones just are too difficult for young people to use responsibly, IMHO.
Phone etiquette is already an abomination and the lure of constant, instant, Internet access is too much for young people (and many adults!!) to handle. Truly, I lament what it's doing to our human connectivity and interpersonal communications... sorry this is a pet topic of mine.
In my family, teens will not have smartphones.
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mommy4ever
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We don't do dataplans for the kids, or ourselves.
There is no need for it. They can text, or call. Evenings are unlimited, free between family members always.
I just don't have a need to have it, nor do I see it required for the kids. There is enough internet time at home, that they don't need it all the time.
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Mackfam
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Well, I'll be the dissenter and say that our teen does have a smartphone (an iPhone), and it's a very useful tool. It's great that there can be different right answers for different families, so I'll tell you how this works in our family because it does work for our teen really well!
As with almost everything today, prudence and custody of the eyes must be exercised. It's an excellent time to learn those skills WITH mom and dad's help and guidance. We were able to have several good discussions on this topic which has borne fruit in other areas outside of smartphone use. As with all tools that are privileges, the smartphone is on loan, and if behavior warrants, can be impounded and restricted.
Our teen drives to classes, choir practice and social events - and the map and GPS on her phone has been very helpful to her a couple of times now!
Social media seems to be a permanent part of our 21st century society, and I think it can be a useful and worthwhile outlet for some things. I also think that healthy boundaries must be exercised both in the use of it and in the "how often" it is used part. These are great lessons to learn at this time, too.
Our teen uses her smartphone as an organizing device for many things. It contains a calendar for her work and school commitments. She sets up a schedule for herself on her phone with reminders for various time sensitive tasks. In this way, the smartphone can be a very helpful and useful tool for time management.
She enjoys using her phone as a camera at events, and I enjoy that she keeps us in the loop with pictures and texts. She also enjoys sharing important things in her life, through pictures, with her relatives/grandparents. They enjoy her sharing in this way.
She likes using ipieta as a prayer help.
It is, perhaps most importantly, a way to contact mom and dad via text or phone in case of emergency.
We enjoy having the Cozi app synced between all our phones. I often add grocery items to my Cozi list and my daughter can instantly check the Cozi app and stop at the store for me.
My teen enjoys checking her mail via her phone. Her favorite apps are Gas Buddy, iPieta, Instagram, Weather Channel's app, MyRadar, Cozi and Pinterest.
Anyway, the smartphone is not something I'd just hand over to a teen without guidance and some great conversations, but this time of growing into an adult is an excellent time to have those conversations, to encourage maturity and growth, to provide guidance in terms of preparing to guard one's time against the pull of social media...all WHILE living at home and under mom and dad's guidance.
I asked my teen about this topic and she gave me some of her input for the above, but she also added another perspective that I thought was valuable. She mentioned that most teens enjoy those common areas they can find with other kids their age. Having some of the same tools is a common ground area, and we (mom and dad) can help her enjoy a safe and fruitful experience in this area so that she feels equipped to deal with it when she leaves our home.
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Angie Mc
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What Jen said!!!!! (A side note, Jen is the one who encouraged me to get an iPhone because she thought it would be a good match for me - was she ever right!  )
Our whole family LOVE having iPhones! Ages 14 and up have them now and they are an amazing tool to stay connected as a family. My teens and adult daughter use them well for time management, communication, fun, and building relationships.
I'm a social media enthusiast so I value online relationships and the potential for good there. We haven't had any major problems, although I do take their phones when necessary to gain their attention.
A few recent examples of good that has come to us via smart phones and social media:
Our whole family went to an Arizona Diamondbacks game just before my daughter moved to Washington with her new husband. I tweeted a picture of the two of us with a note about her move. They put it up on the Jumbotron AND the Dbacks sent her a tweet wishing her well but to come back soon and often!
Last night we were watching the MLB All Star Game. My son noted the few players who he had earned a twitter follow because of his talking with them about baseball! Yep, my son chatted with José Bautista :)
I could go on and on but suffice it to say, we're fans
Good luck finding a good fit for your family 
Love,
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Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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leanne maree
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| Posted: July 17 2013 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
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Wow some wonderful advice. Thank you all.
We have been very Blessed to have such a delightful dd. she has been a true Blessing.
We have tried our best to prepare her for life outside our home.
As I said dd spends many hours at her ballet school either in class, warming up or chatting. For all of last year, I stayed with her. I now feel I need to let her grow and use the skills we have tried to instill in her.
One of these is technology- smartphones. Facebook-yes it will come. She uses ours, it's a family account.
I read somewhere about teaching our teens to use social media, phones etc while in the security of the family home. This mum was preparing her children for college. Much like I am but dd will be going to pro- ballet school.
My thought is I might as well prepare her now while she is in our home and let her make a few mistakes, guide her through them and hopefully she will have better grounding when she has temptations that we are not there to fix.
So this is brings me back to my original post. Still debating. Definitely praying about it.
Keep the conversation going.
many hugs.
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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Barb.b
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Well, DD 15 has asked for, not an iphone, but a phone thats not a flip phone. You know - flip it open type. This phone she is refering to is a prepaid that I put a minimum amount monthly as the "emergency phone". So, I think we will keep the prepaid number and just go to best buy for a basic phone that just doesn't flip open. She rarely asks for things - so I will do this. Since at some point she will get her license at 16 - some phone is needed for her. I plan to get her an iPhone Senior year. That way - she's had one for a year under my guidance before she goes off to college.
A hard thing these days!
Barb
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leanne maree
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Barb. That's how I feel
A year of direction under our guidance.
Social media isn going away. So I figure we need to be smart with it and give plenty of direction.
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Leanne
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http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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Angie Mc
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And once the first child is expert, they help train the rest! It cracks me up to hear the older ones tell the younger ones, "Don't do that on Facebook, that's embarrassing!" 
Love,
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KC in TX
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With much discernment, I purchased iphones for my older two children. It didn't make sense to buy a "dumb" phone for more (iphone 4 was 99 cents) when the phone plan was the same whether we had a smart or "dumb" phone.
I sat down with my children and laid down the ground rules. They're very good about following them. My son uses his phone mostly to listen to music and text friends. He's gained so much confidence with his peers. And, for this kid with autism, it's very huge. My daughter was struggling with friends. She had felt left out. The mode of communication away from the ballet studio among her friends was texting.
I never thought I'd ever purchase a smart phone for my children as their first phone and certainly not for my almost 12 year old, but here we are. I had some deeper reasons which I won't go into here.
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MichelleW
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Our kids also have smart phones for very similar reasons. They use the camera, music, email, gps, phoning and texting features. I love that I can get ahold of them anytime, anywhere. I have access to all their accounts and check them periodically--not because I don't trust them, they are great kids, but because I am the Mom and I feel a need to know what is going on.
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lapazfarm
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My teen has had a smartphone for a while now and he is able to use it responsibly. My husband and I have them as well and though I used to think they would be unnecessary, now that we have them I see what useful tools they are (the power of the internet in the palm of your hand and such).
I also think for us it is a matter of trust and letting go. I trust my teen to drive a 2000 lb vehicle, to operate a chainsaw and lawn mower, to choose college courses, to cook on a stove or a gas grill, to get to work and back on time...why wouldn't I trust him with a phone?
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leanne maree
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| Posted: July 23 2013 at 11:30pm | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone for your responses.
So far we have given dd my old Nokia. She takes it to ballet and txt,me in her break.
I noticed that she added a few friends on the contact list. Which I knew she would.
So far. She leaves it off until she needs it.
She places it with our other phones when she comes home.
We will get her an iPhone. Or smart phone, but at the moment we will leave it for next year. She will be 16 then.
.
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Leanne
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http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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MarilynW
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Although I love my dumb phone and do not want to ever part with it - I have a question - "will our teens actually be able to survive without a smartphone?" - it seems to me that everyone expects teens (and adults?) to have them. I have a child juggling school and a job - and everyone expects the child to be constantly available and checking mail. And the expectation also seems to be that everyone has a data plan.
So on this note - how do you afford it? Is there a tracfone type thing for iphones?
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Smart phones and teens
