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myheaven1967
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| Posted: May 27 2013 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
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I need some advice.
I have been married to a wonderful man for 22 years, almost 23. We have five children together. And I love him deeply.
He is just now converting to Catholic. Or will start in the fall. (That is when our Church works this in.)
However I recently fell a true serious pull to start a consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I didn't say anything to him at first. Because honestly I was not sure what to say. He does not really understand all things Catholic. So I just began the process. However, I felt like I was "hiding" something and it felt wrong. I wanted to sit down and talk to him about it, but couldn't figure out how to explain it. So I cheated out and went the way via e-mail, to try and explain it to him. Now he is REALLY apprehensive. I don't know how to explain to him so he will understand. Nor do I fully know what Our Mother has in her plans.
I have already found myself released from facebook, which was a serious problem for me. I am really pouring myself into our home AND my marriage. This is just what feels right.
I wanted to share with him as he is part of me. (And two shall cleave together and become one.) But I have truly confused him and not made anything better.
How can I fix this? Should I have not said anything at all?
Help.
In Christ,
Jill
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 27 2013 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
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I'm not sure what it is about the Total Consecration that makes him nervous. Is he coming out of a Protestant background? I would think, if he is in the process of converting himself, he would understand and respect your own spiritual pilgrimage. Maybe he feels he needs to join you? I think you could put his mind at ease by making clear that you don't expect him to also make the Total Consecration, and that making the Total Consecration will have no obvious impact on your practice of the faith, other than once a year you may privately say a few extra prayers when you renew your consecration. But as far as he is concerned, there will be no difference. Does he understand this?
There is no reason to keep this secret, nor is there really any reason to tell him or to feel guilty about not telling him. If you told him, fine. This is about your faith journey and once he understands that, I think he will not have a problem with it. If you both feel you must make all spiritual steps together, that is more of a concern. It is one thing to be spiritually in harmony, another thing to be unable to grow spiritually because you are waiting around for one another. In my opinion, the latter is not very realistic or very healthy.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: May 27 2013 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
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I did tell him.
Yes he is coming from a Protestant background so is very lost with Mary. They don't even look in her direction except at Christmas to say she carried our Christ. Which is so sad. I tried to follow his lead and go to the Presbyterian Church but it was just not a place I could grow at all.
I guess, yes, he worried how it would change me in a day to day way. Would it take away from the home? From the family?
I had to explain that if anything I thought it would enhance those things not detract from them.
For the past several years I have found myself LOST into the internet world, particularly facebook. I am only on day 3 of the process and wow my house is clean. And today was technically the day I was to give it up. But I had already known that was coming so was preparing myself.
I would love to do things as a couple but like you said, I don't want to wait. I don't feel that is what is planned for me. But I just felt like I was hiding it from him, simply because I didn't know how to explain it to him.
Thank you for helping me think things through.
Warmly,
Jill
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 28 2013 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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Jill, sorry I didn't get right back to you! I've been crazy busy here. However, I just want to encourage you! I hope I didn't sound harsh or anything--sure not my intention!
Like your husband, I am a convert from a Presbyterian background. The two hardest doctrines for me to "wrap my head around" were the exalted role of Mary and Purgatory. With regard to Mary, I finally decided to ask for Jesus' help! I just asked our Lord to please help me love His mother as He had...I knew that couldn't be wrong. Six months after I converted, I made the Total Consecration. Like you, it was totally Mary's doing that I even knew about it and was drawn to it. So, maybe your dh doesn't need to worry about all of that, and can just ask Jesus to help him love Mary as Jesus did. When it came to Purgatory, I really struggled until one day I suddenly realized that--guess what?--I deserved to go to Hell! So, Purgatory seemed like such a great blessing after that realization that I never again had a problem with the idea.
I am offering up prayers for your dh's conversion and also for strength and focus for you to be able to maintain your commitment to limited computer time. It is a great temptation, and I am sure our Lady will help you! May you be blessed greatly as you make the Total Consecration.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: May 28 2013 at 7:44pm | IP Logged
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Not harsh. Just honest and that is just fine. 
We talked about it and are still talking about it. He is at a much better place with it now.
I hope this is not too much to share but I have been searching for Mary for years. I really mean years. I left Christianity and tried to find her in the Goddess religion, though they talked of her there, she was not there. I then moved to a Norse tradition and tried to find her there. She was not there either. Finally, returning to my roots, Catholicism, I finally found her. And she was with Christ. I am still not as close as I want to be with Jesus, but I am pretty certain that Mary will help me find the way to Him too.
I hope that was not to much information.
Jill
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: May 28 2013 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
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Marian consecration is sometimes hard for Catholics to understand, let alone Protestants. I am glad your husband is less uneasy. Keep offering it up to Our Lady
I am going to move this thread to Hidden Treasure which is especially for discussion of Marian devotion, specifically Marian Consecration.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 28 2013 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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Jill, I'm so glad you've found Our Lady! She will indeed present your dearest intentions to her Son and pray for you to grow closer to Him.
Our last two Popes (Bl. John Paul II and Benedict XVI) encouraged Marian devotion as a path toward Christ. It's a lovely image...our Blessed Mother both pointing the way toward Jesus and asking Him to help us in our daily struggles.
Lindsay's right - the whole "Mary thing" is sometimes hard to explain or understand. But, then, so is the Holy Trinity...and the Eucharist...so your husband will be turning to you for explanations and for help as his journey continues. Pray, separately and together, for understanding and faith, and in time Our Lord will answer your prayers in accordance with His will.
I'm adding my prayers to yours and to those of everyone here. How wonderful that you have found her gentle love and complete dedication to Jesus so inspiring!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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myheaven1967
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| Posted: May 28 2013 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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Thank you I somehow missed this wonderful spot!
And yes, I just keep offering it up to Our Mother.
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4Real Forums : Hidden Treasure
Topic: Consecration to Immaculate Heart of Mary
