4Real Forums: Quiet and Stubborn

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life

Topic: Quiet and Stubborn

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tradmom
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Joined: Feb 11 2007
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Posts: 41

Posted: Feb 19 2013 at 7:08am \| IP Logged

I am in need of some advice. My oldest daughter is 13 and hates doing her schoolwork. She is a very quiet girl and shy. She can be very stubborn when she doesn't want to do something. I am running out of options and ideas in how to motivate her. Homschooling her has lost it's joy and that saddens me. I worry that all the bickering is going to hurt our relationship. Thanks for letting me vent my concerns and frustrations. Any advice??

Mary K
Forum All-Star

Joined: May 14 2005
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Posts: 945

Posted: Feb 19 2013 at 7:39am \| IP Logged

Good morning,
Perhaps you could ask her what she would like to learn about and then provide resources for her.
A trip to the library to pick out her own books (within moral guidelines, of course). Take her alone, sit down and read while she gets her stuff and brings it over to browse through before checking out. These can be fiction, non-fiction, cds, dvds, subject kits.
Games (card, board, computer) can be a great learning resource also.
Hope this helps.
God bless,
Mary-NY

JodieLyn
Forum Moderator

Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
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Posts: 12234

Posted: Feb 19 2013 at 11:29am \| IP Logged

Perhaps you need to hover over her less? She's getting to the age that wants to be in charge of herself even if they're not good at it yet. So giving her some room to do things herself might help. Don't give her a schedule. Maybe not even have her set up her own schedule but rather give her deadlines. Make sure she understands how long things take, find out when she thinks she'd want to do her work and set some deadlines for her (if it's not done by X time then this consequence.. for me it would be like.. if you're not done by 3pm then you'll spend your evening doing it rather than other fun things) But I would also set it up so that she has 24hrs to get started.. so she could work in the evening on things with a deadline of the next afternoon so if she prefers to work in the evening that's fine.

But I can remember being around that age.. maybe a bit older and literally be thinking of getting my room clean and then my dad would tell me to clean my room and I'd lose all desire to do it.. would feel rather stubborn about not wanting to do it. And it really was simply I didn't want to be told to do it.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

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