| Author | |
joann10
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 10 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3493
|
| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 5:57pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I find it very hard during this time of year to find joy---the joy I would love to enjoy. December just makes me overwhelmed...schoolwork and household duties, along with the stress of Christmas gifts and lack of money to make them possible.
Crafts and activities I used to enjoy with the older kids are rushed through, or not done at all. I am afraid the littles are missing out because I lack the enthusiasm to tackle them.
Our church provided the Magnificat Advent prayer book and I am enjoying that, but it such a short daily insight, I find myself looking for more.
Anyone have any suggestions out there? I would appreciate it. 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Servant2theKing
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 13 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1505
|
| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Joann, I hear you! It can really be challenging to keep Advent and Christmas fresh, especially after many years, and to find joy in the midst of our day to day struggles. No two situations are alike, but I'll share a few things that are helping me find joy during this season, in the hopes you might find something that can lift your heart and soul during this blessed time of year!
We barely did anything last year, since we were shuffling back and forth between our home on weekends and mil's home during the week all throughout Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years', past Valentine's Day. It actually helps this year that I'm homebound, since we recently gave our second vehicle to our married ds! We're all soooo grateful that mil is doing well this year and that we are blessed to be spending our days, together, at home ~ it has truly helped me cultivate joy in the simple blessing, and luxury, of being able to be home!
This year I've given myself permission to "abbreviate" family traditions! Jesse Tree Ornaments were simply hung by dc from a cranberry garland in front of our dining window, which already has lights hanging year round (the tiny white lights always lift my spirits whenever they're lit). We're skipping a tree this year ~ substituting a mini tree that dc used as a prop for All Saints' Day a few years ago.
We're relying on tea times for holiday scents and flavors, since baking needs to be kept to a minimum as we're trying to limit sweets and such ~ gingerbread spice, sugar cookie sleighride and spiced apple chai teas, with flavored creamer for those who crave some sweetness, have become a daily mainstay. Dc are the first to put the kettle on and declare, "Teatime!" ~ it helps a great deal that they had to be more independent last year.
My shopping this year is limited to "armchair shopping" online. Group gifts for dc, like board games or movies, have been enjoyed in our household for quite a few years ~ it saves money and decreases the amount of effort put into gift giving. Christmas is much more pleasant and there's more focus on celebrating our Lord's birth!
FWIW, one of my most memorable Christmases as a child was the year my parents decided we would only exchange homemade gifts. A playhouse made from an appliance box (free from a local store), a clothing rack (made out of scrap wood), pin cushions (fashioned from scrap fabric and spray can lids) are some of the gifts I remember from that year. Funny, storebought gifts were never quite as memorable!
If you don't have Advent or Christmas music I recently discovered there are sites online where you can easily download uplifting tunes rather quickly. Here's one I'm currently using for inspirational music I discovered it through a young Catholic homeschooler's BLOG and have been very grateful to be able to have access to new and encouraging music!
I'm hoping and praying you and your family will be blessed with renewed joy in this blessed season of our Lord's coming!
__________________
All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stacykay
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 08 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1858
|
| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have been thinking about this, too, Joann.
This time of year is hard, not just that my parents are gone, but because the 30th of November marked 4 years since my dad passed away, and Jan. 2 will be 11 years since my mum passed.
I am not melancholy all of the time (thank goodness!,) and I really want my boys to feel the joy of the season. But I do have my moments. And the loss of a dear friend last week, just has me feeling a bit more fragile.
Maybe because of the loss of my friend, or who knows what, but in a way, it has almost helped to bring more of my focus on our relationship with God, and has really put the frenzy part of it on a back-burner.
I am not doing anything elaborate, either. I picked a few things to do each day (one being the St. Andrew Christmas Novena- really neat, in that it seems to keep me refocusing on Jesus' birth.) Each night, I am reading one chapter from Luke. Just one. I am not letting myself get ahead of myself!  It is way too easy for me to try to do too much, and then I wind up falling flat! I also picked one inspirational/spiritual sort of book, and I am reading a little each night. (I am reading The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur.)
We are slowly decorating and listening to/learning/refreshing carols for caroling events.
We are not doing a Jesse Tree, reading Jotham's Journey (or any of the author's other Advent books.) We haven't done any fabulous crafts. Today, I just printed out St. Nicholas pictures from the St. Nicholas Center, set them on the table and forgot about them!, until the boys found them and colored them on their own. I did have some "gold" president coins I got at the bank (went there yesterday, and then remembered, as I was writing the date on the bank slip, "Oh, tomorrow is the feast of St. Nicholas!")  I could not find any gold-foil wrapped chocolate coins, and settled for gold wrapped truffles, instead. So each boy got a couple of coins and a couple of truffles in their shoe. I haven't purchased a single present, yet. I have a few Tomie daPaola books we can read, but we aren't doing any units.
We are just sticking to our usual schedule. Nothing real fancy this year. I might try to do some sort of special meal for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, or for some of the other feast days, but really, looking back to when I was young, I have such special memories of Christmas, of the joy, and we really didn't do a whole lot of anything different, in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I was in school until right before Christmas. Once I got out of school, then things got kicked up a notch, or two or three. And I have to say, I think it was all rather perfect. 
I am trying to get us all outside for a walk each day. That is one thing I haven't done in the past, especially for this time of year in MI. It's been rather mild, and I make us go, rain or clouds.  That really has helped me!
Sorry for all my rambling here. I don't know that I really gave you any sort of ideas that you were looking for, just a jumble of thoughts! I will pray for you!
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I need time and space. OK that sounds sort of awful but being hectic is just hectic. But when I can sit down in my bedroom with my laptop and it's (relatively) quiet and I have time to just contemplate each person and what would be a nice gift (not necessarily the best or the perfect gift) but a nice gift.. I get time to think about the kids and what they like and I jot down ideas.. but I don't have to "get the list done" in one sitting. It's about putting myself in a time and space where I'm not "hurrying to get it done". And I'm not "married" to the list.. if I happen on something that's a great deal.. secondhand or a good sale that just shouts out "hey So-n-so would LOVE me".. I save the money and the item on the list is saved for another time.
I found there were some real nice ideas in the article and book linked on This Thread that while it's about simplifying or reducing cost.. would complement the search for joy. I function quite well in "chaos" and my dh just complimented me on being good enough to be a "professional cat herder"  But sometimes you just need to step outside or lock the door so that you can have enough space to think.. or to not think.. to just *be* for a moment so that all the rest swirls around you instead of sucking you in.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 11:03pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would like to find time this Advent to read from the Bible once in a while, but so far, we're in the normal chaotic dance/family visitors/mail gifts spin.
One thing I've learned over the past few years is that, since our home is where friends from our military tours gather for Christmas dinner, "good enough" is really good enough. I clean the bathroom, but I don't try to file a year's worth of whatever. I prepare for a nice meal, and my husband cooks it. I don't try to be Emeril or Giada. In fact, I've discovered that our guests like the meal better if it's the same every year. (My son: "The world will EXPLODE if you don't bake a rum cake for Christmas.") A wise priest once told me that Christmas, in particular, is all about traditions remembered. It's okay to add new ones as long as the old traditions still happen. (Father Meade, wherever you are, thank you...your wise words have sustained our family for 25+ years!)
It's okay to be good enough, rather than perfect. Good enough leaves you with some energy to share with husband and children during Advent. Good enough pushes you through that long grocery line. Good enough wraps gifts AND gets some sleep...very important for immuno-compromised people, parents and other living things.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:11am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Venturing out or opening my emails during this season is depressing. There is so much noise and visual distractions, and all of it seems to be either keeping up with the Joneses or trying to keep the economy afloat.
What's important is having mom there. You have a high bar to reach, Joann, because you are so talented. I'm not as talented as you, but I used to do so much more, and this time of year makes me itchy to make things. I want to make handmade gifts and everything from scratch. Buying things deflates me. I feel like I failed.
And so much of that comes from me. I want to have everything homey and made from scratch, and lots of activities. But I have no time and energy -- I don't have a chronic condition, but I'm low energy and poop out quickly. I need to recharge my batteries OFTEN.
Like Jodie said, I've got to keep reserving some alone time to recharge. I need quiet. The frenzy from the outside world sneaks in and it's so hard! So what's important is definitely making that prayer and reading time and quiet time and naps priority on our days and not secondary.
The truth is, our family really wants us, our presence. They would prefer the TIME with their parents. Busyness isn't that important. Yes, they enjoy the crafts, but it isn't necessary. I think mine prefer sitting down to a board game together, or snuggling with story or reading time with mom and dad--undivided attention.
A few years ago Erin and I compared notes and our husbands were saying the same thing -- they preferred our list of Feast day preparations to be shorter just so they had a calm, loving and UNfrazzled mother. I would spend so much energy trying to prepare, and I wouldn't be the picture of a loving mother.
I'm realizing a few things this Advent. I set the ball in motion for a few traditions and it runs by the children. Our dining room table is now the Advent table, with calendars, Jesse Tree, manger, nativity scene... I'm giving the space to let them play and contemplate.
I'm focusing more on the spiritual. The boys get all excited for Christmas without any assistance from me. What I'm focusing on is to get that spiritual alignment, trying to "Keep Calm and Carry On" preparing for Christ's birth. And my example and calmness gets picked up by the boys (as does the opposite feelings).
So I'm working on my interior...failing in many places, but trying.
Not sure if it helps, but big huge hugs and prayers.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stacykay
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 08 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1858
|
| Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:34am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yes, to Nancy and Jennifer! I don't always get my thoughts across as well. Like they said, my boys don't need me to do it all perfectly, and so much more, they just want us all together.
My biggest example, which was totally void of all our usual traditions, was the year my mum was ill. On the 23rd of December, same day my #5 ds was being baptized, my mum went back into the hospital (after a year-long battle with chf.) On the 24th, in the morning, my dad called to say they were moving her into hospice.
So, day before Christmas, I am stunned (and hormonal!,) totally not prepared for packing up the car/suitcases/etc. One of my dearest friends and her dh came over and insisted we take their 12 passenger van (it was new-no more than a couple hundred miles on it!) Dh came home from work, we loaded the car (I just threw random pieces of clothing into suitcases and grabbed a couple of small presents for each of the four older boys.) We left. I spent the majority of the drive from MI to FL reading a book by Lisa Whelchel, while the boys listened to Christmas music and Adventures in Odyssey.
When we woke on Christmas morning, the boys opened gifts I'd set on the desk in the hotel room. We searched and searched the back roads of KY, looking for a church, Catholic, that is, and didn't find one in time for Mass. We ate at Denny's. All the meals. They truly did run out of chocolate milk and shakes for the boys at dinner, just like in the movie "The Santa Clause," where Tim Allen and son go to Denny's on Christmas and they have run out of everything they want.
We got to FL on the 26th (we took three days of driving, due in part to the newborn needing to nurse, and the older boys needing to run around at the rest areas.)
Due to the fog I was in while packing, we (read-dh) needed to make a few runs to Wal-Mart and pick up ...slacks for church, polo shirts (all I packed were tees,) socks!, and, um, underwear.
That was December 2001. My boys still talk about it! They laugh about the presents in the hotel. They laugh about Denny's running out of drinks and food. And they just have the best memories of us all together. So, what Jennifer said is so true. Our children just want us.
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
pumpkinmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2012
Location: Missouri
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1028
|
| Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:43am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We have cut our school work in half since last week. I can't tell you how great this change as been! I have time to get the house work done, extra crafts with the kids, and project that I save for Christmas break (but never get done). For school we are reading a bunch of Tomie DePaola books, math (but I only teach one boy and the other does a review sheet) or spelling (one week math and the next we do spelling), and a few other fun projects. We are done at lunch time and that gives me the afternoon to do stuff that needs to be done. The boys are required to do school like activities in the afternoon (outdoor play, reading, Legos, puzzles, etc.) so that I don't feel guility! We will be doing his every year now!
__________________
Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 11:42am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh one way to help stop the mental clutter.. turn off the radio in the car. Not only can I get the noise break, but I can sing Christmas Carols all by myself and contemplate them. I've been singing Good King Wenceslaus and O Come O Come Emmanuel and People Look East lately.
My recharging times are less getting away for extended times and more just a few moments for my brain to get a break. It's times like these that I tend to spend a "long" time washing my hands in the bathroom or take out the trash myself instead of sending a child. The laundry is in the garage and I won't give up being in charge of sorting and shifting laundry.. I teach it.. but it's another "noise break" for me to go out there, sort whatevers shown up, shift laundry..
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Finding the joy in the season
