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Barb.b
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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SOOOO, I've been in this neighborhood since July. It is quiet - people keep to themselves. I've determined they aren't snobs - just busy. . . There is a quite a few that are Indian and also Oriental. ANYWAY, in the back of my mind I keep thinking - I could make some sort of gift (i.e.- homemade hot chocolate in a jar sort of thing) and give them out this month. I need to keep it generic and not overly Christmasy as I think at least 1/3 of the block may not be Christian (really not sure but don't want to offend). Well, is it wierd to bring around a hand made (kitchen made) gift to neighbors you don't know. And if I do it - not ask a dumb question BUT - what do I say when they open the door and I am standing there with a cute, mason jar of homemade hot cocoa mix in my hand. Really, it would at least be nice to know names. Some here wave as they go past in their cars - others don't even look at any other neighbors or wave or nod as they go about their day. Maybe a little gift passed out will break the ice?
Soooo, what would you do. . . .
I am shy by nature and this would be going "out of my box" but. . . .
Barb
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Martha
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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I do not know. That's how my neighborhood has been for 6 years. So when we had a sudden influx of new neighbors move in, I decided to make them a goodie plate to welcome them to the neighborhood.
I don't know if my presentation was off or what, which is very likely, but they all looked at me like I was nuts, said a polite thanks and that was pretty much it.
Didn't make much difference. Well except now I think they know I'm the weird lady with all the kids that brought food over. 
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Martha
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 8:28am | IP Logged
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I'm going to encourage you Barb. We've lived here for 18 years. For the first 10 or so, we knew nobody. One year I made a bunch of Christmas cookies, put them on Christmas paper plates and had my 10yo son and 5 yo dd deliver them to the neighbors. (Our two oldest at the time.) They met our next door neighbor who is handicapped with his wife, who is blind. Ever since, they have been like grandparents to all our children and it has been such a blessing to see our kids run over to the fence to say "hi", or give them a hand. They are wonderful people, but because of their situation they don't get out much so we just never saw them.
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Barb.b
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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Thanks ladies, I can see both scenarios happening. But something tells me Martha's is more probable here. I fear that those of differing religions will be offended. . . so am wondering if I should wait. I don't know. I may try an experiment first. See how many I can get to just wave or say hi first. . . seems if they don't even want to glance at thier neighbors long enough to nod, smile or wave. . . my plan to bring something around wouldn't work.
Hope this doesn't come out wrong but . . . . seems most people of Indian and oriental cultures stick to themselves (and with those of the same nationality).
Barb
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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When you're standing there with your goodie (I found a lot of people around here really appreciate homemade bread.. too many sweet options around).. you introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm so-n-so from across the street. I just wanted to introduce myself and bring you this little gift. If they just say "thanks" go ahead and ask for their names.. I think a lot of people are just clueless about social niceties that used to be very common. I'm pretty sure a lot of people have no clue what RSVP means  for instance.
Don't expect a lot.. .this is an introduction only. They may not stop to chat.. but when you have a name then when you start you're waving campaign you have a name to call out as well.. "Hi Mr So-n-so nice day isn't it?"
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Barb.b
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 9:30am | IP Logged
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Thanks Jodie, Its a plan. In order to do this - I like a plan! Yes, Thats all I want - the idea that I did my part and at least know names! Also, am going to keep not even to a block - maybe house on either side (well neighbor on my right introduced themselves - so they get the treat too for being nice!) and maybe 3 across the street.
Barb
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ekbell
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 9:34am | IP Logged
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Having been the person of a different culture receiving food (a former neighbour gave out food plates on certain Muslim holidays), a certain amount of polite bewilderment is to be expected at first (I just wasn't expecting a plate of unknown-to-me festive food!). On the other hand I found it to be a nice surprise and welcome and missed those neighbours when they moved.
I find that smiles and nods work well with those I see on my morning walk (we have the same variety of cultures in our area) although that may be because they are generally also taking a walk rather then bustling from one place to another.
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Martha
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 9:47am | IP Logged
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I hadn't really thought of them being offended. I suppose if you are bringing holiday stuff they might be. But I'd just bring bread or non holiday decorated whatever.
I don't think my neighbors were offended.
I think private people tend to congregate without even knowing it. If they are the kind of people who don't really care about getting to know their neighbors, then cookies aren't going to change that.
And really I am like that. I'll take an escape dog back to its owner, call the police or fire department, help in obvious situations. It's not like I'm going to ignore crime or something. But I've really never understood HOA and block parties and stuff. We go to work. We go to mass and school and just go about our lives.
And in the case of my neighborhood, there are a lot of old timers ticked that none of the newbies want to join the volunteer HOA and participate in Xmas light competitions and so forth. But the reason many people bought here is because there is not a HOA.
So I don't think my neighbors were offended.
I just think they aren't very extroverted.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 11:22am | IP Logged
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Go out of your box and try. At least people will have a face to go with the house and know you are there. We live pretty rurally and struggle with knowing our neighbors. But having met them many years ago we know their faces and that they belong. And when crime hit our neighborhood a few years ago, a neighbor we hadn't seen in two years came by to tell us, and we answered the door because we knew who she was There is no paper or news to keep up on things that happen around here, just word of mouth.
I do miss our subdivision and our old home at times. I feel overly alone but it seems it is just the way things are everywhere now from what you all are saying.
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Kathryn
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I say go for it and don't worry if they don't become your best friends. We do this every year. I actually have my kids wear Santa hats and deliver but you could forgo that if you didn't want it to seem too Christmas-y. We just moved to our new house in August and we'll do it here too. If they think we're weird or become annoyed, well, that's their issue. To those that become great neighbors and friends (like in our last neighborhood) the blessings far out-weigh worrying about those who don't.
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Martha
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
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Oh I agree with Kathryn. Can't hurt to be nice just for the sake of being nice.
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Martha
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Aagot
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 8:05pm | IP Logged
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Really, I doubt anyone will be offended. They know it is Christmas. And who doesn't want cookies? I have a number of Indian friends. They stick together beause it is easy. Just like Americans tend to hang out with each other overseas. They don't have to think so hard about interacting as it all comes naturally. That said, they don't mean to be snobby, just a little lazy and comfortable. (well, maybe some are snobby but that would go for anyone).
I would go for it and include a little tag that says something like
"wishing you (pick a word, peace , joy etc) from your neighbors,
Barb, and kids names" that way when they forget they won't have to ask your name again.
It isn't a crime to be nice in any culture and I am sure it will melt a little of the ice even if they really are too busy to reach out much.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: meeting neighbors idea
