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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 5:59pm | IP Logged
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Christmas Eve is a marathon for our family. This year our small church changed the Christmas Eve Mass time an hour later. We don't have a priest, so we are unable to have a midnight mass or anything on Christmas Day. Just a mass in the evening on Christmas Eve. The problem is the new time conflictss with another family gathering (dh's dad and siblings). I don't know what to do. We normally run our marathon, but we put mass first and make sure we make it. We could go to Midnight Mass the next town over. I just feel like on Christmas I want to be in our church with our church family. We would be seriously late if we go to mass. No one on Dh's side is Catholic so they won't understand. We would be about an hour late if we went to mass and then the family celebration. I'm not sure how the rest of the family would take that. I have no idea what to do.
It is funny that we finally agreed to stay home until mass this year and then just go to that one gathering after mass. We usually run to 1 or 2 places before mass. A week after that decision was made the announcement at church was made about the time of Christmas mass. Go figure! It has never been that late before, but we have a different priest that comes to our church to say mass compared to last year.
Any thoughts?
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
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An hour late to a gathering is no big deal! I would go to mass at your church and be a little late to your family gathering. If anyone doesn't like it, that's their problem. Mass on Christmas is priority for Catholics. End of story.
The phone conversation (or prefereably a voice mail message) would go something like this...(said in upbeat tone).... "Hi, Dad! Our Christmas eve mass is an hour later this year, so we'll be at your house at 8:00 (or whatever time).....go ahead and start whatever you were planning without us........we'll just join in when we get there!"
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 6:26am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
An hour late to a gathering is no big deal! I would go to mass at your church and be a little late to your family gathering. If anyone doesn't like it, that's their problem. Mass on Christmas is priority for Catholics. End of story.
The phone conversation (or prefereably a voice mail message) would go something like this...(said in upbeat tone).... "Hi, Dad! Our Christmas eve mass is an hour later this year, so we'll be at your house at 8:00 (or whatever time).....go ahead and start whatever you were planning without us........we'll just join in when we get there!" |
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DITTO. DITTO> DITTO
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Barb.b
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 7:54am | IP Logged
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Agreed with Suzanne and Melinda! Are your relatives protestant or don't go anywhere. Either way - one would think family would respect your going to Mass first. One hour late - no big deal! I would have problem if my family couldn't understand my being late because I went to church!
Barb
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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 8:29am | IP Logged
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I forgot to mention one detail. This gathering is very short and only last about two hours because of the fact we meet so late in the evening. We wouldn't be there until after 10 pm and it would be half over. I did mention just arriving late to dh and he is thinking about it.
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 10:04am | IP Logged
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For us, it would be Church and then gathering, even if it meant missing half of it. It is unfortunate that the scheduling is what it is, but Mass is more important.
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Mass is a priority, but family is too. How often do you see his family? Is this get together a rare happening? Will there be people your DH especially doesn't get to see except for holidays? How close are you all to them? Will missing half of it mean pretty much missing most of it?
Granted, our church family isn't nearly as close-knit as yours sounds to be. Just trying to throw another perspective out there. God willing, the Catholic Church and Mass will be there for as long as we are. Families won't necessarily.
*Not that I'm suggesting you forfeit going to Mass altogether.
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Christine
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Aagot
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| Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
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If you could go to Mass on Christmas day in another town, I guess it depends on which people are more important to you: your church family or dh's family.
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JodieLyn
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Do remember that for the people at your Church Christmas is a season and will last for another 2 Sundays.. So you will get to celebrate with your Church family just not on the first day of Christmas 
But I would ask for consideration for my beliefs without hesitation. Along the lines of "This is very important to us and yes it is a priority over any party, we'll be there as soon as we can because we don't want to miss more of your party than we have to."
 It's difficult but you'll be able to find something that will work. I find it very frustrating when someone changes our "traditional" Mass times. You wouldn't think it would make things so "off" but it does.
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Marcia
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| Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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Same thing seems to happen to us each year. So this year we said " with six kids, we are going to just be home...please come to our house between blank and blank to visit with us on Christmas Eve. We will be attending Mass at such and such time and would love to have you join us!".
Most people don't join us for Mass and we will only have a few visitors this year, but I'm so happy to take the stress (mainly) out of the situation.
Mass is a priority. But you also have Christmas Day if the Eve become too much....
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Marcia
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stacykay
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| Posted: Dec 04 2012 at 6:48am | IP Logged
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Hi Cassie,
I think alot of my decision would rest on how upset your in-laws would be, how frequently you get to see them, how far away they live, and if there are other Mass times/locations you could attend.
I was not raised Catholic (converted in college,) and I know how hurt my family would have been if I had cut short or foregone spending a holiday with them. They didn't have the same reference of beliefs that I do (we were/are all Christians, but my parents were Episcopal,) and it is hard to understand, no matter how kindly one can phrase it. (For instance, my mum had a very hard time understanding why they could not receive communion in the Catholic Church when the Episcopal Church offers it to any baptized person. It caused a hardened feeling against the Catholic Church for some time, especially when she saw other not-always-kind people who were Catholic and were able to receive.) 
Is there a Mass available on Christmas Day, either at your church or the nearby town? We have gone to many different churches over the years, especially as my parents lived in FL, and we live in MI. For us, a way of bringing continuity and tradition for the boys was pointing out that no matter where we go in the country, Mass is Mass, and we always take a photo on Christmas in front of the nativity of whatever church we attend. It is neat to look back on all the different places and nativities and see how the family has grown, and how the boys have changed and grown.
I know it isn't ideal, but I have found just how short time is.
Prayers for your decision!!!
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Thought on this Christmas overbooking
