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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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Those that live in small towns and endure the typical gossip, how do you cope? Seriously! It is so bad here that I want to move, but can't talk dh into that. Is it like this where you live? What brings a well educated person to believe crazy things of a known gossiper has said over their own family members?
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
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Either we don't have that kind of gossip or no one is brave enough to say it to my face.
My experience though is that people will tend to believe what they WANT to believe. It's a feeling of power to think others aren't "so perfect". Or to "know all about it" or to feel like "I found out even though you cut me out of the loop".
Gossip (especially malicious gossip) hurts. No two ways about that. But trying to defend yourself to the person often results in a response like "she doth protest too much" or "it must be true or why would she be so defensive". Sometimes a  and a bored attitude can shut it down.. sometimes.. ignoring something is a long time for getting it to go away. In school I found the best thing to do was to drag one person who someone said she said to the other peson who someone said she said.. and tell them both what they told me so that they could clearly see that someone was throwing smoke in their eyes.
So if it's someone you could do that with.. taking the person who told you of it to the person they heard it from and clearing the air that way might help.. at least let the person you know figure out that the person they heard it from is all smoke and mirrors.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 7:04pm | IP Logged
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We lived in a small town in a gossip-filled county for two years...but we've also lived in Italy, where everyone knows what everyone's doing, all the time. And we lived there twice.
For me, the best way to cope was to remove myself from gossipy situations. I got tired of listening to people bad-mouth other folks, so I started to do something else during sports practices (now I write for a living, and that's where it started). I have done this with online groups as well - I quit if things get gossipy.
I don't know why people believe gossip. Probably boredom!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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guitarnan wrote:
For me, the best way to cope was to remove myself from gossipy situations. I got tired of listening to people bad-mouth other folks, so I started to do something else during sports practices |
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This is what I am struggling to do. I feel like I can't get away from it. (Sometimes it's family events!)
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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Aagot
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
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How about: "Okay folks, I am sure we all have more intelligent things to talk about!" or tell the story of the woman who confessed gossiping and the priest told her to go pluck a chicken and spread it's feathers all over the town and come back when she was done. She did as she was told and when she came back the priest told her to go a pick up all the feathers. She said, "I can't they are everywhere." He said, "Yes, you are right, just like gossiping you can't fix it, it is all over town." Or something like that. I am sure someone could give you a more polished rendition! 
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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 8:27pm | IP Logged
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Aagot wrote:
| How about: "Okay folks, I am sure we all have more intelligent things to talk about!" or tell the story of the woman who confessed gossiping and the priest told her to go pluck a chicken and spread it's feathers all over the town and come back when she was done. She did as she was told and when she came back the priest told her to go a pick up all the feathers. She said, "I can't they are everywhere." He said, "Yes, you are right, just like gossiping you can't fix it, it is all over town." Or something like that. I am sure someone could give you a more polished rendition! |
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Oh, one day I will get brave and use that! 
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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seeker
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| Posted: Oct 12 2012 at 7:50am | IP Logged
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I have no solutions, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. We are in the same situation, but we are looking to move. Unfortunately, that will also probably mean I will have to start working. I cannot stand gossiping. It's just childish.
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Gaudete in the Everyday
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Topic: Small town gossip woes
