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Chris V
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September 6th is our 15th wedding Anniversary. And although it's not any more special than number 14, or 16 for that matter, we've had quite the year. A very blessed year, a very unexpected year, a very challenging year, but it's also been a very happy year.
Normally we don't gift each other anything (and we're both completely fine with this). And I'm not necessarily looking at gifting something this year, but would love some ideas for gifts (because you just never know if someone has a really creative idea that really speaks to you), or ideas for things to do, etc.
He's a tough cookie though. He is quite possibly the most un-materialistic man I've ever known. Has never had any interest in clothes, watches, and the like. He is an outdoorsman, but has everything he needs to sustain his hunting and fishing hobbies. He is also a skilled handiman and has every tool known to mankind.
An night out for dinner would be lovely. We just might be able to accomodate this (though this has challenges too with no family within 150 miles), but I was hoping for something a bit more this year to step up our little celebration because I consider our year to be a triumph and we made it through some very stressful situations.
What are some of the things you have gifted your spouse? What are some of the things you've done for and with each other on Anniversaries?
...hoping for an epiphany with this .. because I'm stuck 
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Chris
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Erica Sanchez
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Celebrating anniversaries is a weak area for us, so I'm not sure why I'm writing, Chris! Seriously, we spent many of our early anniversaries eating pizza at my parents after a long afternoon of swimming with them and our kids. I still don't quite know how that happened, but now it's a sweet memory.
Are you letter writers? We both were early in our relationship/marriage and I would cherish a long love letter from my dh on a birthday or anniversary. I think he would, too.
If you can't make it out to dinner, what about having a late-night catered dinner at home after the kids are in bed? Going out would be great, too, if you can make that happen.
See, not creative at all. My husband sounds a lot like yours as far as not wanting or needing much of anything. On a special occassion like this, but really anytime, he would appreciate my full attention and participation in the things that could/would/should happen after dinner. 
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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JodieLyn
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I'm stuck too.. it's our 20th anniversary coming up. But I can't do too much that's "set in stone" because it's still fire season until mid-October so my dh may or may not even be home. So something that we can just go and do without making reservations would be good.
I have been toying with going out to the local hot springs. I might have to talk to my mom about how that's set up. I think her and dad went out there once. I've only been there with the kids in the open pond area. I've looked at the website but still can't really picture what's available for a private room sorta thing.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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JennGM
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Since it doesn't happen so often, we do dinner out at a nice restaurant with a bottle of wine for our birthdays and anniversary. Sometimes it doesn't happen on that exact day, somewhere close.
And my standard gift is something new that's really pretty to wear with the lights turned off, and a bottle of bubbly.
Not original, but appreciated.
For big anniversaries or birthdays we have done one night away at a B&B, not too far. It's hard to get away, but my mother has been generous.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
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Chris V
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Thanks, ladies! You've given me some things to consider ... particularly that simple is always better, and that certainly fits my husband. He is simple. Unassuming. Hates a fuss. Doesn't like or want to be the center of attention, yet appreciate sincere gestures and efforts made by anyone for another.
To complicate matters, we got married at the beginning of elk season. Why on earth did a hunter agree to get married on a day when it often overlaps with opening-day (and/or) the first week of the season? Well, that's kind of a long story, but it is what it is. We've never actually celebrated our anniversary ON our anniversary, and often it just gets pushed aside and we just give each other a wink and say oh well. Though he's not going to be home on our anniversary this year either, I don't want to just let it go, once again.
Planning anything takes effort. His hunting schedule (which is really important to him and I want to honor that ... plus the whole family benefits from an elk or deer harvest), and we always have to coordinate with family because we don't live near any of them. ... though my parents are unbelievably generous and accomodating, wouldn't you know it, they'll be in Europe most of September and into October (likewise with his folks ... traveling).
Staying up to do something special ourselves (just at home) would be a stretch for him. When we finally get all five girls to bed, we are absolutely exhausted - given the option of watching a movie together, sharing a glass of wine? No. We opt for bed. 
((sigh)). Perhaps I'm over thinking this.
I'm going to keep thinking simple, sincere gestures that don't take too much planning or co-conspiring with family (and, knowing my husband as well as I do, if it can be done without costing money, he would give me a high-five  ). We do have a gift certificate to a nice restaurant (given to us as a gift when we first bought our property TWO YEARS ago that we still haven't used). Nothing wrong with using it for our celebration, though it's just not very original.
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Chris
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CrunchyMom
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Not simple cheap, but maybe you could modify this idea.
I still can't decide if this is what I wish I could give my husband or what really, really wish he'd give me.
When you look at the Five Love Languages, my love language of quality time barely registers as one for him. And even when looking at secondary rankings and such, I think our rankings are the complete reversals of the other. Knowing this is helpful but in some ways makes the challenge of communication more glaring (You KNOW this is my love language and you STILL do nothing about it  ).
So this looks like a perfect gif to me
Have you taken the online quiz.? I can't link ATM, but if you could get your dh to do it, it might help you know which direction to best go, even in giving a gift to someone whose language isn't gift giving (like my gift of quality time or Jen's pretty/bubbly example).
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Lindsay
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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Chris, also think outside of the box.. if you're exhausted at night.. why not get someone to watch the girls in the morning and see if you can't slip out early and go out to breakfast while you're both somewhat fresh (I'm well familiar with nights that may not leave you really refreshed.. just better than the night before )
Or if you've got a somewhat reliable naptime.. go out to lunch.
My dh and I can slip away now that we have older kids who can babysit.. and one of our favorites is to run up to the local burger joint and share a chocolate milkshake and a plate of fries, not a big deal.. usually gone less than an hour only costs about $8, but it's so nice.
Maybe check around you and see what might be happening? Is there some festival? a farmer's market? something at the library? a community play (they're by donation here)? a free concert?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Chris V
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CrunchyMom wrote:
Not simple cheap, but maybe you could modify this idea.
I still can't decide if this is what I wish I could give my husband or what really, really wish he'd give me.
When you look at the Five Love Languages, my love language of quality time barely registers as one for him. And even when looking at secondary rankings and such, I think our rankings are the complete reversals of the other. Knowing this is helpful but in some ways makes the challenge of communication more glaring (You KNOW this is my love language and you STILL do nothing about it ).
So this looks like a perfect gif to me
Have you taken the online quiz.? I can't link ATM, but if you could get your dh to do it, it might help you know which direction to best go, even in giving a gift to someone whose language isn't gift giving (like my gift of quality time or Jen's pretty/bubbly example). |
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Oh my, Lindsay. That gift idea is absolutely lovely! But I'm with you, this would be something that *I* would love to recieve, but I think my husband would think it's a bit too much over the top for him. ... he's a guys-guy, and all that that includes. He's the type of guy that you want to rescue you, but you don't want him planning the romantic evening (and if you do, you'd better lower your expectations just a tad). ... and I say that with all the love in my heart!
We talked a bit last night about our upcoming anniversary. He said "You know, we could just have my parents come up to our house to watch the girls, and we could just go down to their house ... I've got a key "
I think we both understand that we have limitations this year with two babies that still need me and are still nursing. So, we'll make do with an afternoon, or an evening doing something. But, he said he'd try to come up with something too ... which is great. I was sort of hoping to surprise him with something, but at this season in our lives, there's no such thing as spontaneity, we have to preplan everything.
It's never even occured to me to look into our love languages. I could take the online quiz, but asking my husband to?  ... um, I would get laughed at. Again - he's a total a GUY.
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JodieLyn
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Oh Chris.. this is where you have to be the ultra helpless female and bat your eyelashes and say pretty please.. just for me.. so that he can "rescue" you by taking the silly quiz
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Chris V
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Oh Chris.. this is where you have to be the ultra helpless female and bat your eyelashes and say pretty please.. just for me.. so that he can "rescue" you by taking the silly quiz |
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I'm not holding my breath ...
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Chris
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JodieLyn
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well it was worth a try.. but anyway.. just reading the book would probably help you figure out which sort of things your dh appreciates the most and give you more ideas within that type of thing.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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pumpkinmom
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I some how pulled off getting my Dh to read the Love Language book!  Which was a good thing because I was wrong about his love language. 
Watching this thread as we are celebrating our 13th year next month. We don't do gifts either.
Oh, one year for Christmas I received a coupon from a store for $10 off $10. And one for Victoria Secrets for a free pair of underwear with no purchase required. So, I got 1 underwear and Dh got a package of socks or underware, can't remember which. And it was all free. Look for coupons!
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JodieLyn
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Soooo, I thought I'd update.. Our week is just very busy and so we're spreading our celebration out a bit.. last night dh and I had a "date" in our bed room with a little picnic of champagne and cheese and crackers and cheesecake.. and then tomorrow night we're having my family (local) over for a nice steak bbq and "party". It's nothing BIG but it's special and enjoyable.. and wow.. 20 years sounds so long and went so fast.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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CrunchyMom
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Happy Anniversary, Jodie! Your picnic sounds lovely. Can you have a talk with my dh?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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this one was easy for me.. my dh has always been quite fond of wine with cheese and crackers and cheese cake is a favorite too.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Erin
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We're celebrating our 20th anniversary at the end of this year and my dh really, really wants us to go away, just the 2 of us (which means I have to get serious about weaning our 18mth old)
He is talking about this time away constantly I can see it means so much to him (me too ) One thing dh is planning is to go to daily Mass (without children!! oh joy!)
At times over the years we can drift towards a rut and we have had to be conscious of that. I have come to realise that despite my best intentions to not give my dh the 'crumbs' of time after the children, that sometimes that is what happens. He says he is fine, after all they are very important, however every now and then since we have had teens I've been trying to make a conscious effort to surprise him with time. To ring on the spur of the moment and meet him in town for lunch, occasionally at night once little ones are in bed to head out to McCafe, to ask him out on a date to the $5 steak night. Doesn't happen often but keeps the spark and lets him know he is so valued.
Considering how very excited he is about planning this 2nd honeymoon, my ideas tend towards time as a gift, particularly if he is not materialistic.
I note your oldest are only 11, and with family miles away I'd plan an Option B if the dinner plans fall through. Even if you do a family picnic. but how about a date night at home, special dinner with kids, and then romantic desert once children are in bed, plan some topics of conversation that don't revolve around children and your year stresses and the mundane. We don't ban children talk but do limit it to the first part of our date chat.
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Chris V
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Soooo, I thought I'd update.. Our week is just very busy and so we're spreading our celebration out a bit.. last night dh and I had a "date" in our bed room with a little picnic of champagne and cheese and crackers and cheesecake.. and then tomorrow night we're having my family (local) over for a nice steak bbq and "party". It's nothing BIG but it's special and enjoyable.. and wow.. 20 years sounds so long and went so fast. |
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Aw, this sounds lovely Jodie! Happy Anniversary and congratulations on 20 years!
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Chris
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JodieLyn
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Erin, it's not so much that we ban children talk as we tend to talk about the positive things.. the good things that we see.. and how did they get so big anyway. And funny stories and that sort of thing.
A "working date" might be different where we are specifically wanting a bit of time away to concentrate on talking about a particular issue.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Erin
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Jodie
Yes it's lovely to talk about the positives, after all who else is going to believe our children are as cute as we know they are but us
Congrats on your anniversary!!! 
Chris
I was a bit brief before in my conversation suggestion. On those rare dates (after talking about what darn cute kids we have ) we try to cover more than the realities of our life (work, education, building etc). We might discuss books, opinions etc the sort of chat we had back on our courting dates. Not to say we don't have these in our daily life but... it is a bit different. Why one date we got onto politics and disagreed!! total shock to discover we thought different on this issue after 10 yrs of marriage 
How's your plans going?
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Erin
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Chris V
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Well, our Anniversary came and went - and I'm afraid it was a *teeny* bit disappointing. I had so hoped to make our 15th Anniversary stand out and to celebrate a bit more than what we typically do, but it just wasn't in the cards for us this year. My plans sort of all fell through. There's still opportunity though, with the elk season slowing down (though deer season starts up soon) I'm hopeful to do something yet. Though we may not celebrate in the month of September, October is still close enough to count ... remembering that the point is to do something and not let it slide once again ...
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Chris
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Anniversary ideas
