4Real Forums: Need some advice about behavior

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Need some advice about behavior

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kristinannie
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Posted: July 23 2012 at 2:33pm \| IP Logged

My DS6 is a wonderful child. He is so loving and generous. However, he is very intense. He is constantly in the faces of my other children. My other two children are much more independent and he always wants someone to play with. My daughter can deal with it, but my 2 year old is constantly screaming, "Go away!" He even constantly pokes them during church which leads to the other kids acting out. I don't know how to harness this energy and reroute it into something good. I am truly at a loss here, but it is causing serious discord in our family. I am not sure if this is just a stage or a permanent personality trait.

Any advice will be appreciated. BTW, I just bought the book recommended in the other post. That post was very timely!

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SeaStar
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Posted: July 23 2012 at 4:33pm \| IP Logged

It sounds like he is a wonderful extrovert- he thrives on being with and interacting with other people. If he isn't getting this interaction, he will start to feel drained and grumpy... hence the poking: trying to get what he needs.

You can teach that if he wants attention, he can tell you, but he may not poke/get in someone's face, etc. you can also teach him ways to soothe himself. I promise you the Kurcinka books will give you all kinds of ideas and enlightenment, and you will feel like you have been given the "instruction manual" for how your ds works.

Your 2 yo might be more of an introvert- needing personal space and screaming to get it if he has to. Giving the 2 yo a place to escape to in the house (a tent fort, a corner of a room that is his alone), and giving your other son strict instructions not to bother him there might help.

It will be trial and error. You will have good days and bad. But the books will help SO MUCH. I have read the Spirited Child book about four times now. Each time I learn something new or something jumps out at me that didn't the last time. That one book has so much helpful information that it is hard for me to remember it all, especially in the heat of the moment.
Going back and reviewing is a must for me.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: July 23 2012 at 5:42pm \| IP Logged

Another possibility is that he needs to be taught HOW to play with younger children. Even extroverted toddlers want to "do it myself" and if he's stepping in and "taking over", they'll object.

I had one child that desperately wanted to play with the little ones but wasn't having much luck. After I watched him for a bit I realized he moved to fast. I had to teach him how to play peek a boo with the babies because he'd pop in and out so fast they couldn't track him.

So it's not always "natural" to know how to play with a younger child.. and teaching him a couple of strategies for playing with them could help greatly.

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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

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