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VanessaVH
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Hi I have read through a lot of the potty training threads and declared this week potty lockdown for my 3 yo (was 3 in Jan.)
It's not going well, and I want to give up! the first day when the other boys were at grandmas we "caught" one pee while reading him a book on the potty, and he gave me enough warning to get to the potty for a poop, but we also had about 4 accidents.
Day 2, 10+ accidents with only one success. I usually read to him for 5-10 min when he sits on the potty about every 15 min (every 5 if it's been awhile since he has gone) and he usually has accidents within 5-10 min of getting off. He doesn't seem to want to stop playing to go either...
I make him practice running to and getting on the potty 5 times every time he has an accident. I praise him every time he keeps dry for the length of the timer
Today is day 3... Do I just need to stay consistent or am I doing something wrong?
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Wife to Mark, Mommy to 4 boys:Luke '05, Eric '07, Nicholas '09 Nathaniel '11
http://butterflyandbullfrogs.blogspot.com/
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Barb.b
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 8:29am | IP Logged
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Don't stress it so much. Here's my experience with my youngest when he was FINALLY potty trained - I felt he was physically ready - but the more I tried to potty train him (emphasis on the "I") the worse things went! It is just for some kiddos - the potty training routine you have - is too much to have the whole day revolve around it. I mean that nice - for my oldest (now 19!) the above method would have been perfect. For him, I set out one weekend to potty train him and he was! For my youngest - he wore pull ups until he was 4! At that time I got him a toy he wanted - put it somewhere he couldn't reach but could see it - and said "you get a sticker for each DAY you are dry, 3 days in a row and you get this toy" . Because at 4 - I knew he could and would.
My advice - stop - he gets the idea, but with 10+ accidents - it might not be that he isn't ready - it just isn't time. And if he doesn't want to - then it won't happen. Could be the more you stress it - the more he will resist. I don't know your son - but if he is having accidents within 5-10 minutes of sitting on the potty - then he is resisting it. And if a kiddo is resisting the potty thing - you just have to back off because the more you stress it the more resistent they will get!
Oh one last word of advice when "well meaning people" ask if he is potty trained - truthfully you don't have to answer because it is none of their business when and how you do it!
Barb
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pumpkinmom
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I was always very relaxed (no rountine) with mine and we introduced the potty and asked if they wanted to use it, but I didn't "train" until they said they wanted to. (I always encouraged though!) That many accidents tells me they aren't ready yet. I would back off. Keep a potty out, and talk about using it all the time. Have everyone in the house tell the child when they are going to the bathroom and talk as if it is the most exciting thing to do.  Using peer pressure in a good way. We always had friends with similiar age kids who were already trained and we would talk about them. Of course I would never have these talks if my child was not ready! Mine also got a kick out of going to buy big boy underwear like dad's! They weren't allowed to open it until we had a day or two of success.
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Cassie
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VanessaVH
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 8:52am | IP Logged
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I guess I am just worried that the past two miserable days then become a "waste" of time that we are just going to have to do over again when we try next time?
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 8:54am | IP Logged
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VanessaVH wrote:
Hi I have read through a lot of the potty training threads and declared this week potty lockdown for my 3 yo (was 3 in Jan.)
It's not going well, and I want to give up! the first day when the other boys were at grandmas we "caught" one pee while reading him a book on the potty, and he gave me enough warning to get to the potty for a poop, but we also had about 4 accidents. |
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This is really great for a first day!!
VanessaVH wrote:
Day 2, 10+ accidents with only one success. I usually read to him for 5-10 min when he sits on the potty about every 15 min (every 5 if it's been awhile since he has gone) and he usually has accidents within 5-10 min of getting off. He doesn't seem to want to stop playing to go either...
I make him practice running to and getting on the potty 5 times every time he has an accident. I praise him every time he keeps dry for the length of the timer
Today is day 3... Do I just need to stay consistent or am I doing something wrong? |
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You might just set the timer and let the potty time be business time. No more reading while on the potty. No more practicing running. Just set the timer for 15 min, and every 15 min, go to the potty. Ask for one or two push-trys, and then up and off.
** If he does his business on the potty, just say something matter of fact like, "Good job, you put the potty where it belongs -- IN the potty." Finish. Go back to the day and reset the timer.
** If he does not do anything on the potty, just say, "We'll try again in a few minutes when our timer dings again." Off the potty and back to whatever you can get done in 15 min.
** If there is an accident, don't make a big deal of it. There will be LOTS of accidents at first. Let him help you clean up as much as possible. A 3 yo can change undies, bring wets to the wet undie bucket in the laundry room, wipe the floor with towel and wipes and bring those to the wet bucket in the laundry room. Cleaning up the accident is just a part of learning - it is NOT the punishment. Feeling the uncomfortable sensation of being wet/dirty is enough of a motivation. That means we can be matter-of-fact and say something like, "You can help me clean up the wet mess. Next time we'll try again to put the wet in the potty and not on our undies. We can listen for the timer to remind us or you can tell me and we'll run to the potty."
It's going to be important that you've got the house set up for accidents:
** Wet bucket in laundry room
** couches covered
** rooms without easy to clean surfaces off limits
** make sure you have all the supplies you need down low so the 3yo can reach a clean stack of undies, clean rag-towels for floor clean up, wipes for wiping floors, legs.
Potty lockdown days are FULL of accidents for the first couple of days. Stay with the timer and as more trips to the potty are successful, stretch the timer time out a little as you go. The goal is to help them associate wet feelings = uncomfortable. Comfy dry = potty. To do that, emotions of frustration or punishment can't come in to play. It's about the connection.
Polish the timer. Fire up the washing machine. Get out the rag towels. Prepare for a day of back and forthing to the potty and mini-tasks (mostly washing) that can be accomplished in 10-15 minute spurts! And plan your evening reward!!!! Chocolate? A nice glass of Chardonnay? Favorite book with tea? Plan a simple, favorite thing to reward yourself this evening because YOU WILL NEED IT, and it is a real help to look forward to something!
Cheering for you, Vanessa!!!!  You can do this!!!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 9:00am | IP Logged
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And....just because I can't think of anything more enjoyable than pleasure reading on the joys and thrills of potty lockdown ( )....I'm adding these past threads here for reference:
Potty training a child who doesn't care
In the trenches of potty training
Trying Potty training lockdown again
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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kristinannie
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 9:01am | IP Logged
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Potty training is so frustrating sometimes! With my first, I tried potty training him at 2.5. He would sit on the potty for 5 minutes and then pee his pants two minutes later. He couldn't go for more than an hour without going potty. His bladder wasn't strong enough to potty train. He always had a wet diaper after nap and in the morning. I waited a few months until he started telling me every time he made a little pee in his diaper (he wanted it changed). He was ready then and potty training literally took an hour. He had one accident, didn't like it, and was potty trained.
My daughter was a different story. I potty trained her around age 3. She was fairly easy to potty train for pee-pee, but would not poop in the potty. She would hold it until night time when I put on a diaper. She never had a wet diaper in the morning so I didn't put a diaper on her. She held her poop for three days until I finally put a diaper on her so she wouldn't have to go to the hospital. That was our last ditch effort. We had already tried bribery! I finally just told her to tell me when she had to poop and I would put a diaper on so she could do it. After about a month, she told me she would just go in the potty. I think I had taken the pressure off.
So...I guess my advice is to feel out your child. Is he just the right age for potty training or is he ready for potty training? Get him really excited about being a "big boy." Let him pick out some really cool undies. My son did really well with bribery. He got 1 M&M for a pee-pee and 2 for a poop. That didn't work with my daughter at all. I am not saying to give up, but if he isn't ready for potty training, this is going to be a very long process. If it were me, I would give it a couple of months and really get his older siblings to encourage him and bring a big boy. What are some of the things that change when you are a big boy in your house? I don't know...just my rambling thoughts! 
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Mary's daughter
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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Summer is coming! It's the perfect time to let him run around without underwear. I've found that my kiddos who will have accidents with underwear on, are more aware of having to go when they are underwear-less!! There's also that fascination with peeing on trees! We have potty-trained most of ours in the summer.
In my personal experience, the more I wanted the child to go, the more he/she resisted. I learned, for our family, it was more productive if we made it fun, and less about something for me to force on the child.
Good luck!
Stephanie 
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 9:38am | IP Logged
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I thought my 3 yo would NEVER be trained! He just didn't seemed to get it, so I put him back in pull ups, then tried again. I forget (I might have written about it in the other potty threads) how long it took, but one day it just clicked. It was extremely frustrating.  He kept going #2 in his pants and I was so annoyed with it for some reason. I'm just glad it's over. Now we are in the "let's visit every restroom in the known world" whenever we leave the house.
You can do it!
Oh, I also put him in a skirt for a few days to see if that would help him (I just couldn't bring myself to let him run around naked).
Edited - I wanted to second Jen, I had all my supplies at hand: bucket, rags, wipes, extra clothes, washing machine ready and running, etc.
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VanessaVH
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 10:01am | IP Logged
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I am thinking maybe he isn't really ready, still can't stay dry this morning. I brought up diapers and the kids who really wanted a diaper back yesterday now says no diapers 
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 10:47am | IP Logged
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vanessa wrote:
| It's not going well, and I want to give up! the first day when the other boys were at grandmas we "caught" one pee while reading him a book on the potty, and he gave me enough warning to get to the potty for a poop, but we also had about 4 accidents. |
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This would be an AMAZING first day for us!!!! I don't think I've ever had such a successful first day! He rocks!
Vannessa wrote:
| Day 2, 10+ accidents with only one success. I usually read to him for 5-10 min when he sits on the potty about every 15 min (every 5 if it's been awhile since he has gone) and he usually has accidents within 5-10 min of getting off. He doesn't seem to want to stop playing to go either... |
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Again....TOTALLY NORMAL!
vannessa wrote:
| I make him practice running to and getting on the potty 5 times every time he has an accident. I praise him every time he keeps dry for the length of the timer |
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Great ideas!!!! We've never done the "practice running"...and I LOVE IT! Mental note for next time.
Quote:
| Today is day 3... Do I just need to stay consistent or am I doing something wrong? |
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STICK WITH IT! It sounds like he's doing GREAT! It all seems completely hopeless right now, but it's NOT. Read through the above links and see if there are any other little "tricks" that you think may help your particular process....but otherwise just stick with it! This totally works....even though it seems so ridiculous and hopeless during these first few days.
This is NOT EASY! But, you've already gone through the toughest part! KEEP GOING!
THIS IS ALL TOTALLY NORMAL!!!!!! You are ONLY on Day 3!!!!!!
Here is the nitty gritty of what happened last time I did this....I think it will make you feel better:
SuzanneG wrote:
:: 1st day - about 10 pair of leggings wet. Nothing in the potty chair. A typical, disastrous, first day!
:: 2nd day - about 3 pair of leggings wet. FINALLY went in the potty chair for the first time around dinner time.  (she was holding it longer, hence less "accidents")
:: 3rd day - Went about 4 times on the potty. No leggings wet, BUT......we were also outside, in swimsuits, in pool....and I was not as vigilant (first day of hot weather here) so it's not nec. representative of what "really happened." She probably went outside a couple times and I just don't know about it.
:: 4th day - 1st day that she said, "Go potty!!!!!!" TELLING US she had to go. FINALLY! (this took about a day longer with her than with the other girls.) Everything went in the toilet all day....no accidents!
:: 5th day - still setting the timer, but only every hour. Went by self 3 times. No accidents. (Friday)
:: 6th day - no more timer. Going by self.
:: 7th day - Family Outing !!!! Potty Training Lockdown is OVER!!!!!!!!!!! Everything went in the potty chair!!!!! Still reminding her regularly, but sometimes going by self. We were gone for about 2.5 hours at the beach and was taken to the bathroom twice, but didn't go. So she made it 2.5 hours holding it!!
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Cheering you on from afar!!!!!!
Do you have your glass of wine or chocolate ready for tonight????? GET IT! You need something to look forward to!
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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VanessaVH
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 11:08am | IP Logged
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Gave in and let him have a diaper when he asked... 
I really am thinking he is not physically ready, although he is much older than when the other two trained.... He really wants to be dry, but asks to practice "after" the accident.
I think I will just encourage him to keep practicing and wear the diaper in between.
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mommy4ever
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| Posted: May 02 2012 at 11:36am | IP Logged
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My youngest was a real challenge.
Finally at 3.5 yo we got her trained. But she needed a motivation.
We had gone camping and she wanted to go to the park with her older siblings. Well, babies in diapers just can't go with the big kids because they don't bring a diaper bag.
We had no accidents after that.
But 6 months earlier she wouldn't have been ready, as she had no desire to be away.
Out of the 4, we have a wide variety of ages for potty training. Ds was 2 yo, dd1 was 18 months(on her own), dd2 was 2.5 then regressed for a year, I didn't worry about it, we'd moved and lots going on. And then the youngest was 3.5.
And I like Jen's approach. He is capable of dealing with some of the mess himself.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Potty Lockdown day #3
