Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Maggie
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 4:12pm | IP Logged Quote Maggie


Please send some prayers up for us.

The priest that married us almost 9 years ago said this, "You both are going to love hard...and you will fight hard."

This statement is so true for us. I just wish the fighting wasn't so constant and in front of the kiddos.

Thankfully, we just got a new spiritual director, and this is coming to the forefront. It is very humbling because I think our family projects a "shiny halo" image. Sufficed to say, our spiritual director is not happy with us right now...because we. know. better.

Please pray for us. It's ugly habits that have perpetuated throughout the years. A lot of selfishness. At times, disillusionment. And impatience. Oh--and pride.

Thank you, dear sisters in Christ.

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3ringcircus
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 4:33pm | IP Logged Quote 3ringcircus

Our children are close in age to yours, and over the last couple of years it has become obvious that they not only understand the our tone of voices, but likely the words and meanings as we fight. It is a struggle to protect them from that, for sure. It is a struggle for me to dial it down and wait until we can hash it out. It is difficult for both of us to realize that when the other one says, "now's not the time", we have to stop short.

I will be praying for you.

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Servant2theKing
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged Quote Servant2theKing

Praying for you, Maggie. Half the battle is knowing what needs to change! Praying together can help immensely with the other half!

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AmandaV
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 5:32pm | IP Logged Quote AmandaV

Praying, Maggie.

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DominaCaeli
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 5:39pm | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

Praying to dear St. Joseph for you and your husband!

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SeaStar
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 7:58pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Adding my prayers.

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stellamaris
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 8:31pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Praying for your family!

Also, I want to pass along the findings of a recent study on the effects of conflict between parents on children. The study found that the most important thing as far as minimizing the insecurity children can feel when their parents fight was to allow the children to see the resolution, the "make-up" part. The children need to know that even though you have fought, you still forgive and love one another.

Conflict is a part of every marriage from time to time. Personally, i believe that healthy conflict is necessary for a good marriage. You have to be able to communicate and work through differences, and smetimes that can get a bit tough. The most important things I have learned are:

1. Don't wait too long to discuss problems...they only build.

2. Don't discuss problems on an empty stomach. Wait until after dinner.

3. Focus on the problem, resolve not to call names or make personal attacks. Don't say anything you will later regret. Don't try to destroy or put down your spouse. Your goal is to solve the problem.

4. Whatever the problem, try to remember you are in the difficult situation together and you must work as a team to solve it. Think of it as the two of you against the problem, not the two of you against one another. It helps me to picture our marriage as a boat, and we are in it together trying to row through this life and get to Heaven. Sometimes the boat springs a leak. What good would it do to argue and attack one another over this? When we recognize that we must fix that leak by working together, then we put ourselves on the same side...where we belong! This is exactly what you are doing by seeking counsel.

5. Spend positive time together doing things that you both enjoy. Walks, dinners, movie, whatever. Don't neglect to "date" your spouse. Talk about something other than your problems. Beating problems to death just wears everyone out...give it a rest and have fun together.

6. And last, but by no means least, LISTEN to each other. Dont be so eager to make your point that you don't even listen to your spouse.

May God guide you and strengthen you both as you build your marriage and family!

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Chris V
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Posted: March 23 2012 at 11:17pm | IP Logged Quote Chris V

Offering my prayers for you both.

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MaryM
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Posted: March 24 2012 at 12:09am | IP Logged Quote MaryM

Praying for your intentions.

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jawgee
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Posted: March 24 2012 at 5:54am | IP Logged Quote jawgee

Praying....

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mariB
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Posted: March 24 2012 at 7:00am | IP Logged Quote mariB

Praying...

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Posted: March 24 2012 at 7:25am | IP Logged Quote jawgee

Oh, Maggie, I am just coming back to say that I noticed you have been married eight years. The eight-year mark was quite difficult for our marriage, as well, and I thought we had a very good marriage. At eight years lots of selfishness and hurts were exposed. It was a difficult time, but we are stronger than ever for having endured our time in the desert.

Praying that your marriage will grow as a result of this.

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Booksnbabes
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Posted: March 24 2012 at 2:17pm | IP Logged Quote Booksnbabes

Praying!

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kristinannie
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Posted: March 24 2012 at 7:55pm | IP Logged Quote kristinannie

Sending prayers!

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elynnmom
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Posted: March 26 2012 at 8:24am | IP Logged Quote elynnmom

Praying.
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guitarnan
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Posted: March 26 2012 at 9:38am | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

I've been praying for you, Maggie, even though I have not posted until now.

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Posted: March 26 2012 at 1:04pm | IP Logged Quote 3Giftsathome

Praying for you both!

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Maggie
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Posted: March 26 2012 at 1:13pm | IP Logged Quote Maggie


Thank you all for your heartfelt prayers.

I think I asked at the right time. The beginning of the weekend was terrible.

Your prayers really got us through a dark episode. We are really trying to change some things around here, and thankfully, we are on the same page. However, bad/old habits die hard...and not having good examples growing up certainly has not helped us, either. For the record, I do not claim innocence in the matter, either.

I am still asking for your prayers--very humbly.

Thank you!!



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Posted: March 26 2012 at 1:28pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

   

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Posted: March 27 2012 at 7:57am | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Oh, Maggie, still        !

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