| Author | |
mamaslearning
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 12 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 927
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 4:17pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I need to vent! 
I'm so angry and frustrated most days and I don't exactly know why. I'm irritated by *every*little*thing*! My hubby is working 7 days a week, so we see him for a few hours in the evening and that's it, so of course the kids are maniacs jockeying for his attention in a short span of time. My 3 yo is going through the "I refuse to listen to you" stage, along with potty training. The 1 yo has figured out all my child-proof locks and will not give us any peace to do school. Finances are lacking (hence the second job), other family members are facing foreclosure, hubby's health has deteriorated due to all the working (he currently has shingles). I feel so guilty because I cannot keep up with the housework, laundry, meals, etc. I want to do so much better for dh, but I'm such a failure at this homekeeping gig. I was never trained for it and can't seem to figure it out even with the HOURS upon HOURS of reading I've done these past 8 years.
I'm so unhappy, but can't exactly pinpoint why.  I have finally emerged from gripping anxiety/panic only to be plunged into this, this, depression (?). It doesn't feel like depression, I'm not sad, just mad all the time.
Ugh! I'm starting back on my course of supplements to see if these alleviate any of the feelings. I know my weight is bothering me, but can't seem to find time to exercise. I'm with the kids all the time and cannot afford a babysitter. I try to get up early, but the little one co-sleeps and wakes up whenever I get out of bed. I still nurse and hold him for his nap, so no afternoon freetime.
I know this will pass, but I want to move onto another phase *NOW*. The novelty of small children is wearing thin  . I love, love, love them, but want to regain some sanity in this house!
Thanks for the vent session. Please say a prayer for us!
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 4:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Prayers for you Lara! I have had times when I have felt so incredibly overwhelmed. This happened to me recently and I realized that I was anemic. One dose of iron and I felt like a new woman. My anxiety level had been so high and it was all due to the anemia. It took me a while to get up to a level where missing a dose didn't really affect me.
Beth
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 5:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
be sure you're getting a largeish dose of b's.. good ones.. stress uses up b's at an alarming rate and sometiems you need rather a high dose of them to compensate.. D is the other one that tends to make me feel at the end of my rope if I don't get it.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
jawgee
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 02 2011
Location: New Hampshire
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1415
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 5:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am keeping you in my prayers. I've been struggling with some similar things lately.
__________________
Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It sounds like depression to me. Irritability is my biggest symptom, not "sadness." I find that if I start feeling "edgy" it usually improves readily when I start taking. My cod liver oil regularly. It is an efficient source of D and Omega 3s, also vital for mental health.
Many hugs. Not having dh around really makes things deteriorate rapidly around here. Many, many prayers
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lara, I can empathize...when you and your husband don't have enough time together to help each other through the stressful times, it can be really, really difficult.
May I suggest (in addition to the other helpful ideas our 4Real ladies have offered) more sunshine? You might be like me...I have SAD. In the winter months I have to be very careful to sit in natural light (I have a small rocking chair, left over from my breastfeeding days, that I move around so I can get close to sunny windows). You don't need to go outdoors...just spend time in the sunlight.
This is also a lovely time of year to read lots of beautiful picture books - lots of school can happen that way, with library books by Tomie de Paola, Jan Brett, Demi and more, focusing on Christmas and winter themes. Snuggling with your littles and enjoying special stories will improve their reading skills, and you can talk about the pictures, too!
Sending you hugs and lots of prayers...
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
wifemommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 10 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 732
|
| Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Give your self an early Christmas break. Drop the school and the potty training. Scrub the sink and bake some bar cookies...who has time for lots of trays of cookies  Put on some Christmas music and dance  Watch a Christmas movie with the kids. Give your dh a backrub tonight even if you are both falling asleep. A sense of connection is so important. Be gentle on yourself this will pass so quickly...in hindsite that is  Annie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 6:57am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Praying for you, Lara. 
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
cathhomeschool
Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 7303
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 9:36am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am PRAYING FOR YOU, Lara!!!
And I have to second (third?) the suggestion to make sure you're getting your B vitamins! I have a big tendency towards anemia and that lack of energy/oxygen really affected my brain and my "anger level."
I love Nancy's suggestion to read beautiful picture books! I'd add Mary Engelbreit and Jill Barklem to the list if you happen to have them at your library.
Spiritually I would focus on the thought that NOTHING you encounter is accidental. It is ALL planned by God for you because He loves you. Surrender to Him. Talk to Him. Tell Him that this is SO hard and that you don't want to be in this place and that you want a 'new phase' but that you KNOW this is His will for you in this moment. Ask our Blessed Mother to send you the graces you need to get through each moment with love. Be faithful to that prayer.
I would also beg Maria Goretti for her intercession. Because of a series of events that happened a year and a half ago it was made obvious to me that she was asking me to ask for her intercession. So I prayed for her intercession for months. I was *amazed* at the dramatic decrease in my anger level at "life" (daily plan not going the way I wanted, hectic-ness, whiny children, the long chore and errand list, my desires to give my family "more" when there weren't enough hours in the day,...and on and on). I found joy and gratitude in the things that had previously frustrated me. I couldn't explain it except as a result of the intercession of Maria Goretti. I *really encourage you* to ask for her intercession.
__________________
Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mamaslearning
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 12 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 927
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 11:14am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Would a doc have to verify anemia before taking iron? I was thinking that I read that iron could be toxic? What about B vitamins, isn't there one of them that is toxic?
Funny thing is, we haven't been doing much, if any, school. A few math problems and some reading, but not our normal schedule. We've been busy with cookies and science experiments, crafts, and library programs. Maybe all the extra mess on top of the normal mess is bringing me down?!
Nancy - I do suffer from SAD, but it usually doesn't hit until late January. Although, we have had a recent bout of unusual weather (lots of rain) for this time of year. Maybe SAD is starting early. I'm wondering if my insurance would cover a light bar or something? Hmmm, I need to check that out.
There isn't much I can do to change my situation right now (I can't make the, grow faster ), so peaceful acceptance is my prayer. I need a break, so I'm going to brainstorm a way for hubby and me to get out for a few hours by ourselves.
Thank you, thank you! I love all the support and ideas. It helps me to think outside of my self-made box!  I'll definitely read up on Maria Goretti, thanks! Time to readup on all the depression buster books I guess.
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 11:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
iron supplements you can get too much.. but not iron from food sources.. I'd try taking alfalfa (you can get it in pills) it's great for raising your iron levels safely.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Grateful in VA
Forum Pro
Joined: Oct 22 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 277
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 11:25am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Praying for you with empathy. Lots of good advice from these wonderful ladies.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
JodieLyn wrote:
| iron supplements you can get too much.. but not iron from food sources.. I'd try taking alfalfa (you can get it in pills) it's great for raising your iron levels safely. |
|
|
I like Floradix, which also includes a lot of B vitamins as well.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristinannie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 27 2011
Location: West Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1363
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 12:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lara, I am sending up prayers for you right now. I now exactly how it can feel to have DH gone a lot and not feel adequate as a housekeeper. First of all, this is a very stressful season in your life. You have very small children and this time will pass. Secondly, forgive yourself. You cannot do everything perfectly. You kids will remember the love and time you spent with them, not whether the house was spotless. Thirdly, you need to take some time to yourself. I know that you cosleep and hold the baby throughout nap, but is there anyway you could transition the baby to a crib and get some space and some free time? I take some time every day during naptime to spend with God. I read Scripture, I pray, I meditate...wherever God leads me. This is time I guard selfishly because I NEED it. The kids are all in their rooms. DS5 doesn't nap anymore so he has to have quiet time in his room. My kids know this is my time with God and they generally leave me alone. If the baby wakes up, I put him in his exersaucer and turn on the TV.
Please know that you are in my prayers. We all feel overwhelmed. I know your situation is different than mine. I don't even pretend that I can fix it. Please just be patient with yourself. Talk to your DH and figure out a plan that works for both of you. Your oldest two should be able to help with some of the cleaning. I am now in the process of trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible. I am so tired of shuffling things around. I know my life will be so.much.easier if I have less stuff. Give a little time daily to God.
BTW, when you figure out the exercise thing, please let me know. That is one area of my life that I cannot seem to get back into. That and cleaning....
__________________
John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
CrunchyMom wrote:
I like Floradix, which also includes a lot of B vitamins as well. |
|
|
I second this. You can tailor your dosage and spread it out throughout the day. If I take an iron pill I get really nauseous. You could start with 1 dose a day and see if it helps at all. When I was anemic that very first dose already made me feel better. I knew it was exactly what my body needed.
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
mathmama wrote:
CrunchyMom wrote:
I like Floradix, which also includes a lot of B vitamins as well. |
|
|
I second this. You can tailor your dosage and spread it out throughout the day. If I take an iron pill I get really nauseous. You could start with 1 dose a day and see if it helps at all. When I was anemic that very first dose already made me feel better. I knew it was exactly what my body needed. |
|
|
Yes floradix is very good... also much more expensive than alfalfa.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
JodieLyn wrote:
mathmama wrote:
CrunchyMom wrote:
I like Floradix, which also includes a lot of B vitamins as well. |
|
|
I second this. You can tailor your dosage and spread it out throughout the day. If I take an iron pill I get really nauseous. You could start with 1 dose a day and see if it helps at all. When I was anemic that very first dose already made me feel better. I knew it was exactly what my body needed. |
|
|
Yes floradix is very good... also much more expensive than alfalfa. |
|
|
But cheaper than therapy
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh Lara
You sound so overwhelmed you don't know where to begin. and your mood surprises you and yet you don't know how to get a grip, I do so empathise been there.
You have already received such good advice that I hesitate to add more but yet.. I'd like to suggest you consider taking wheat out of your diet (hard time of the year I know). For me though I've noticed when I do not have wheat I have far more energy and my mood is vastly improved! amongst other benefits.
Do hope you are having a better day today
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mamaslearning
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 12 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 927
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 6:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh wow! Today was horrible!  There's definitely more going on than just being overwhelmed. This is feeling more hormonal/dietary/physical. I'm inclined to think hormonal because I cried all day long today over little things like the garbage can being on the counter. We have to keep it up there so the baby will not dump the contents and it just made me start balling like a baby today because it's on the counter.
Babe is almost 15 months old, and I had one cycle a few weeks ago, so maybe my regular menses are starting to arrive. I'm just suprised at the intensity of emotions!
I'm definitely checking out the iron and b vitamins knowing that I'll begin losing more stores again with returning menses.
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
cathhomeschool
Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 7303
|
| Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
How is your sleep? When I was severely sleep deprived, I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I cried over anything and everything and didn't know what was wrong. It was definitely a combination of dietary deficiencies, anemia and lack of sleep.
__________________
Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Exhausted, frustrated, and DONE!
