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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 7:44am | IP Logged
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Just a little....
I want to slow down, enjoy Advent, make cookies, put out my Advent wreath(finally!!), sit on the couch and read to dd, clean my house, put lights on a fir tree in the field, etc.
BUT, everyone else in the family is not there. Today, for example, I have a doctor appointment and then we are going out to...the mall (I wish we had a bleech emoticon). Dh took the afternoon off because we need to "research" some of the things we are considering for Christmas purchases. Right now I don't want any purchases(I"m yelling that  ). We are blitzing home to go to an activity at church tonight. Oh, and I better get on making those mashed potatoes for the pot luck tonight.
Tomorrow we are doing service and caroling at nursing homes and while I know that is nice and good, I want to take care of my little church here, more. (you wouldn't believe the dirty dish and laundry situation).
How can I slow down MY life when those about me are loving being busy, busy, busy?
Thanks for listening. Going to get ready for the day. Oy.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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jawgee
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 8:27am | IP Logged
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Monica
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 9:23am | IP Logged
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I definitely feel your pain, Anne! I've been locked in a very full time here as well and it's not what I'd choose. For one recent event in my life, I just had to grit my teeth and get through it. I developed some sanity saving strategies for myself:
** Carve out morning prayer time and declare it OFF LIMITS for any intrusion. I take 15 minutes first thing in the morning. I self-destruct without it. In an ugly way. I beg, beg, beg for the grace to get through the day in a way that is pleasing to Him and helps me prepare for His coming. I ask for the grace to surrender to the Advent He sends, just as Mary and Joseph offered humble obedience in that very first Advent.
** Carve out afternoon time, even if it's only 30 minutes, for Mother Culture time. This is my reading time for Advent reading, additional prayer time, looking through a favorite cookbook, or whatever is refreshing. It's a short time, but it's time that I have to CLAIM and then STAND BY....or it WILL get sucked under the current. Just a small amount of time really, and I plan for it so that it happens at our most naturally "down time" here - in the afternoon.
** Announce a family meeting at the dinner table at your VERY NEXT family meal in which you're all at home. Discuss your concerns with the family; they all enjoy the fast-pace of busy-ness, and you would like some quiet preparation time. A family bends to accomodate. How can the family do some bending? Perhaps older kids would be willing to step up to do some tasks to alleviate some of your responsibility so that you are free-er to get them to their events? Perhaps husband would be willing to help you consider curtailing some family events in lieu of others that are most important. Perhaps all would be willing to do a blitzkrieg house-cleaning this weekend?
************************
While a fast-paced Advent is tough, identifying for myself and to my family those things that are very important to me have helped. Often, my family doesn't understand how important something is to me, and once they do, they help me work to make it as reasonably possible as they can.
In our recent busy-ness, I often had to resort to emailing my dh to communicate because...well...it was hard for us to find time to talk (or at least uninterrupted-non-go-go-go time). I was clear about my needs, and then he knew there were areas we really needed to treat seriously.
Don't know if any of this could be a practical help for you, Anne! But I really do empathize! Sending
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Jen Mackintosh
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 9:34am | IP Logged
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mom2mpr wrote:
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We do! --  Maybe that's not strong enough for how you felt, though!  
I would echo much of what Jen said. Life around here is *never* slow. I've found that I am much more able to handle it and maintain inner peace and an attitude of preparation, though, if I am faithful to morning prayer time. It makes ALL the difference in the world. I started a novena the other day and it has made a big difference in my mental attitude of preparation too. Perhaps you can do some spiritual reading as well -- a short blurb at bedtime or lunchtime? Maybe even a read aloud that includes the kids? (For this I love, love, LOVE the book Just David! It is such a beautiful story about the important things in life. Perfect for Advent.)
Emailing husbands -- I SO understand, Jen! We do that around here too. And texting. He is busy at work and I'm running here and by the time we're all home and have time I've forgotten everything so email and text are my friends.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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First off Anne, there is also nothing wrong with putting down your foot and saying that if things don't get done in the home (the chores etc) that you won't be running anyone to anything.. if they want you to put in your time going places then they have to put in time to free you up from the chores and keep the house nice.
Second.. I keep taking my dh off to the grocery store.. for one or two items.. and then we walk around the store about 4 or 5 laps just to have a chance to talk without little (or not so little these days) ears listening in.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Dec 09 2011 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
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Oh, you ladies are great. I am home waiting for the potatoes to cook and thought I'd come here and get my hugs and support  Thanks for the reminders about prayer and carving out time for me. Oh, and Jodie, what an awesome idea to take dh to pick up some things at the grocery and talk. LOVE IT!! (although, we are running so much lately we run in and out of the grocery and pick up things when we are out and about--and usually dh is not with us).
And it is nice to hear that others' main way to communicate with dh is by e-mail. So sad...but reality and at least it IS talking...
Hoping for some breathing room soon....
Thank you.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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