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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 7:32am | IP Logged
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I cannot believe that I'm having these feelings! I've read the books, I am feeling very convicted that I need to get rid of lots of toys, but yet I freeze when I try to physically do the work. I don't want to upset my kids  and I can't believe I'm being this way. I know it's in their best interest, they have way too many choices, but they are such good kids most of the time that clearing out the toys almost seems like a punishment.
I've always included them in helping with the downsizing, and they've been very helpful. They will choose to donate things since they know another child will get them (maybe a child that has nothing else). They get the idea of charity, even at their young ages, but I want to drastically reduce the toys and I'm not sure how to accomplish this without tears.
Am I being too wishy-washy?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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jawgee
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 7:50am | IP Logged
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I'll be honest - as much as I want to instill a sense of charity in my children, I declutter the toys when the kids are not around. I get rid of things the kids have outgrown, toys we have too many of (baby dolls, stuffed animals, and what I call "disposable toys" that come in party favors, etc.
I usually fill a trash bag, keep it in the attic for a few weeks to see if anyone asks for a specific toy, and then donate or trash after that time frame.
I've actually NEVER had them notice a toy was missing and ask for it.
In my experience - just do it! You'll be so glad you did!
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Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
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amyable
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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Do you have a place to store them for awhile, out of the way? You could always leave out only the favorite-most-special ones, with the attitude of, "It's better for you to have only a few out at a time." Then after X amount of months, anything they haven't asked for can go?
I admit, things they don't play with much get donated without me asking anyone for permission. I'm tryin' to get to heaven here, and the visual clutter and crabbiness of the kids with too much STUFF ain't helping. 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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SallyT
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 8:27am | IP Logged
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I do exactly what Monica does: get the kids out of the house and go after it. I do have good storage for stashing things away, so I haven't actually Goodwilled very much (someday!), but my experience is the same. Out of sight, out of mind.
Sally
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 8:38am | IP Logged
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I've put up quite a bit a few months ago, but they recently found them  . I don't know how I ended up here? I started out being very diligent about what toys I allowed in the house (wooden, non-commercial, etc.) then somewhere around pregnancy #3 I gave up and let the extended family give whatever they wanted as presents (we have tons and tons of aunts/uncles/cousins, so birthdays always net us a large about of stuff). Now I need to reign in the gifts again. Maybe a plea for savings bond would do the trick? If I could stem the flow of toys into the house, that might help a bit.
You have great advice. I just need to do it, and I *know* this in my head. Thanks for the confidence! 
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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jawgee
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 9:38am | IP Logged
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mamaslearning wrote:
| I've put up quite a bit a few months ago, but they recently found them . I don't know how I ended up here? I started out being very diligent about what toys I allowed in the house (wooden, non-commercial, etc.) then somewhere around pregnancy #3 I gave up and let the extended family give whatever they wanted as presents (we have tons and tons of aunts/uncles/cousins, so birthdays always net us a large about of stuff). Now I need to reign in the gifts again. Maybe a plea for savings bond would do the trick? If I could stem the flow of toys into the house, that might help a bit. |
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We have this same problem - large families, many gifts. Plus my boys have birthdays right near Christmas so this is the time of the year I really try to declutter in preparation for the influx.
As many times as I've tried to get people to buy "experience" gifts (a trip to a museum, passes for the indoor pool, etc.) that never seems to happen. I do try to encourage my siblings to chip in together to get one nice toy that is really wanted rather than four smaller toys that are likely to be thrown out quickly.
Meh, it's a constant struggle.
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Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 1:11pm | IP Logged
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I find that narrowing categories helps, so when people ask, "what can we get for so and so," I can say, these books would be great or something playmobile or lego.
It lets the person who enjoys shopping "choose" something, narrows it for the person who just wants to be told what to buy, and it does not add to clutter in the same way a different toy type does.
We're pretty blessed in that family generally asks.
I have also found that rotating toys helps with clutter AND with seeing if something is missed. So, you can institute a toy rotation, keep out the minimum toys or ideal that you see in your mind, and find a shelf or bin out of the way that you can stash the others. This way, the children are helping you decide "what to keep out" instead of the more gut wrenching "what to get rid of."
Later, you can gauge how much things are missed and start covertly getting rid of things.
This also means you really can keep some of the items that have you on the fence and rotate them with other things in a few months, but your clutter that you are managing on a daily basis is still minimal.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
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Hi Lara,
I'm pretty good at toys but not with a lot of other things. I like the advice for either putting some away so there's no so many out at once or purging while kids are not around.
I tend to keep all scraps of paper and notes in piles all around because some day I *MIGHT* need it. This can apply to just about anything we want to keep. What helped me the most to purge was the thought that if I could not declutter and get rid of these (im)material things that was cluttering our home (and my heart and head) then I was not trusting that God will meet my needs when I need them.
I'm still so far from perfect and still have lots of piles but thinking that God WILL meet my needs has allowed me to move past some of that "frozen state" of mind.
Good luck,
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(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 05 2011 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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If you're looking for storage space.. get some cheap (thrift?) pillowcases.. cut a small hole in the side of the open end... run a drawstring.. and put some of those big hooks (though even a strong nail would work) in the rafters in the garage and hang the bags there.. even in my crowded garage I can usually find some space that would let me hang bags like that. Plus they're easy to get out.. like one of the categories I tend to have stored like that is puppets.. but if we need a pickme up on a bad weather day.. we can easily get them down and everyone has a blast playing with them.. and they can easily be put right back out in the garage. 
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 07 2011 at 11:58am | IP Logged
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YK, I think I was seeing more than was actually there! I had the chance to clean up the playroom downstairs while the two oldest were with their Dad, and I only had one bag of things that went into hiding. I was sure that I was overrun with stuff, but my last purging must've taken care of more than I thought. It's all nice and organized, and I feel so much better about it. My oldest even went through her room and has a bag full of give away items.
I am feeling so much better about this issue! Thank you!
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: I'm Afraid to Declutter!
