| Author | |
abcmommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 129
|
| Posted: April 09 2006 at 6:48pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Several times our fundamentalist non denom neighbors have made comments to my kids about "becoming christian" or "going to hell."
Halloween was tense, as we decorated our yard with some cute stuff (like little white ghosts we made out of baggies and hung on string.) At that time I told the 5 yo he was not to say to my children that we were celebrating Satan, that different families had different beliefs and that our family believes differently than his. 
Today my older ds was told aaaaa-gain that if he doesnt become christian he will go to hell! 
This would be easier if my child were baptised already, I think in some ways, bc he would feel much more like a member of his own church. And I wouldnt worry about his feelings. As it is I reassure him that Catholics were the very first christians and his church has a fine tradition and a real faith and etc... And I tell him that he is christian and we do know Jesus and etc... I do know he was bothered by the convo he had with the other child bc he came right inside after the discussion. He told me that he told her "no, that isnt right."
Anyway.
would you go to the mother? I'm afraid this wouldnt be productive, after all she is teaching her children to evangelise and this is what they are doing! At the same time I am sick to death of my children being threatened with the fires of hell by fellow 6 and 9 yos!
Im quite angry about it.
I told ds not to defend himself to them, but to reply that we do not talk that way to our friends.
Pls pray that I develope a patient and more tolerant understanding of non demoninational fundies who teach their children to spread God's word with threats and a better attitude to deal with this situation.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: April 09 2006 at 7:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I think the only thing I'd tell my children to answer with is, "We ARE Christian!" I know it's frustrating. We have a big problem around here with this type of thing (esp. in the public high school), and it's very hard for children to deal with this constant badgering, which is based on lack of knowledge about the Catholic Church.
In your shoes, I'd probably give it a little while longer (like, until the next incident, at which time your child could answer as I've stated above), and then I'd casually mention to the mom, "You know, your children seem to think we're not Christian. They mention this to my children often. I'd appreciate it if you could tell them that we are Christian." Then I'd say goodbye and walk away.
The strange thing I've encountered here is that most of the members of the local fundamentalist church don't notice anti-Catholic statements when they're made...these statements don't register with them as anti-Catholic. (E. g., "Hindus worship idols, just like the Catholics do." ) They know my pastor (he is well-loved in our county) and don't associate the Catholics they know personally with those anti-Catholic comments...so perhaps your neighbor hasn't connected the standard fundamentalist rhetoric with "anti-Catholic" rhetoric. (Am I making sense? She probably doesn't realize that what her children are saying is hurtful to you, a Catholic Christian.)
Prayers headed your way!
PS - I wouldn't worry about the baptism issue. I recall from earlier posts that you have good reasons for postponing the baptism. You are doing what's best for your family. You're not the one with the misconception about our Church, after all! Your children shouldn't be badgered about their faith or their holiday activities. End of story.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
abcmommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 129
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 7:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
thankyou, you made me feel better. we have lived here 1.5 yrs and its really a constant theme with these people. yes, its hard when people do not think catholics are christians. mindboggling to me!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
marihalojen
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 12 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1883
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 10:00am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We run into this frequently and it is a very uncomfortable situation. We discussed how we are the original Christians and everyone else has broken away when something didn't quite agree with them.
Fast forward a bit - we are discussing the Amish and how many different sects there are, straight pins vs. buttons; rubber tires vs. not; and how they have a meeting to decide whether to accept each new item and anyone who does not agree sets up a new sect...
And the next time dd was approached with the whole Christian/Catholic thing I heard her telling them that they were just like the Amish.
 She'd made an unintentional connection that struck me as very funny that day.
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2291
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 10:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm a very simple person at times, so pardon me if this comes off "wrong" somehow...
But can't you just tell your dc that they don't have to play with children who are going to be hatefull to them?? I've done this and see nothing wrong with it.
I agree your dc should feel comfortable saying they ARE christian and leaving it at that. They should also feel quite comfortable saying they don't appreciate being spoken to that way and have no desire to associate with children who speak that way.
That, or maybe, you could arm your dc with a bit of counter attack evangelism?  "I AM christian and part of the ONE true Church founded by Christ Himself - the Catholic Church!"
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
marihalojen
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 12 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1883
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 10:36am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Martha wrote:
That, or maybe, you could arm your dc with a bit of counter attack evangelism? "I AM christian and part of the ONE true Church founded by Christ Himself - the Catholic Church!"
|
|
|
I personally like this and can remember sitting on the parallel bars at my first public school in 5th grade and telling my best friend that I was so sad that she wasn't Catholic and since she wasn't baptized in the True Church she had no hope of heaven. I guess that the road can run both ways...
Maybe it is time for some additional holiday yard art? Large Easter egg tree with "He is Risen!" banners?
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MichelleW
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 01 2005
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 947
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 10:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I wish I had time to type up the story that goes with this advice, but...
One thing I have found works very well is to say that we prefer to focus on our relationship with Christ. Relationship is an evangelical buzz word, and I have found often that they are so surprised to find that Catholics actually value the relationship with Christ as highly (if not more highly) than they do. This comment has always led to productive conversations in my experience.
Also, we prefer to emphasize the Good News of the Gospel when reaching out to the community rather than the bad news. The Good News is Christ, and we are blessed to be a blessing.
I am so sorry that your children are in this position. I know that these situations can be so hard on a mother's heart. And yet, what an honor to have your kids' faith and charity tested in this way! They are being prepared for something exciting in adolescence and adulthood. I hope I am around then to hear how they have grown!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
abcmommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 129
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My issue is I want to "make it stop" but I need to realise i cant make it stop, just can control my kids reaction to it.
But sometimes I want to go over there and yell, "HEY, we are catholic, we catholics STARTED christianity, lady! Stop trying to convert us to your weird halloween free/ no grace/ forget to honor Mary religion."
Not very christian of me, tho. 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: April 10 2006 at 10:11pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hi there,
{{cyberhugs}}
I feel your pain. We are converts and our evangelical extended relatives (and some friends) have said some awful things over the last few years.
Considering the ages of your children, I personally would focus on "making it stop" too. I don't think 6 and 9 are appropriate ages for a child to deal with this kind of thing.
I also agree with a previous post-er who mentioned "buzz words." As a former evangelical, buzzwords (or "Christianese," if you will) is really the best way to fend off this kind of thing. You could offer your opinion and historical proof that we are the original Christian church, and you would be right too, but it won't necessarily build bridges. 
I have found that evangelicals tend to lump Catholics into two categories...either "saved Catholics" or "in need of being saved Catholics." In fact, CRI (the evangelical equivalent of Catholic Answers) has a very large article for free on their web site about Catholics and mention that "evangelical Catholics" are more similar in many ways to regular Evangelicals than many mainline denominations.
In my opinion, the best way to evangelize is to open their eyes to how much you have in common. It only takes a few buzzwords and a strong positive attitude when using them to get them thinking.
When asked, "Are you Christians?" Say cheerfully, "Oh yes, we love the Lord." The next question is likely, "Where do you go to church?" You respond, "Oh, we love our church...St. Whoever Catholic Church." "Oh, you're Catholic?" "Uh huh." (with a big smile).
Using expressions like "we were so blessed when..." or "Isn't the Lord good? Such and Such happened..." go a long way toward speaking a language that they understand and interpret as "oh, this person is saved."
I know it seems irritating to do this. It drives me crazy sometimes. But I figure Paul knew how to be a Greek to the Greeks etc...and this is one of the easiest ways to bridge the gap. If you confidently assume that you have more in common with them than not, then it generally throws them off guard and they will give you the benefit of the doubt.
I think I probably would not let my children play with her children out of earshot, and when they say something again, I would intercede with a smile and a strong statement such as, "Oh, we love Jesus, too! You don't need to worry about us going to Hell." If they say, "But mom said..." then you have grounds to confront her, imho. If they let it go, then maybe they will go home and tell mom, "Did you know they love Jesus too?"
If it gets to the point of her offering you literature, then I'd say, "I'll be glad to read it as long as you are willing to read one of my books, too." Then give her something Scott Hahn.
I don't know if any of this helps. Its a meager .02
Blessings,
~Books
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Dawn
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 12 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3191
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 4:49am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am sorry for the situation you are going through. It must be very hard.
I am very naive when it comes to how other Christians are different from Catholics (in beliefs and practices). For a long time I thought we were all on the same page. When I grew up I knew only Catholics and Jews (or so it seems thinking back). My best friend through grammar school was Jewish and I learned a lot about their religion. I went on to Catholic high school, Catholic college, and came out of higher education with a Catholic husband and mostly Catholic friends. Obviously I came to realize how many different faiths there are, and I hope that I am respectful of others and that I pass that on to my children.
I recently read Rome Sweet Home by Scott Hahn and I was very surprised (and saddened) to learn how much prejudice there is against Catholics. I guess I've lived in this lovely little bubble.
I agree with everyone here who say your children's feelings are your first priority. Make sure they are comforted and assured after such attacks. Anyone acting as these neighbor children have been is not acting as a Christian, period. Fill them up with your love, love for our Lord, and love for our Faith, as I am sure you are doing! I know at some point, they will need more than that ~ when others question, or possibly someday they have their own questions. I need to find some good resources for educating myself (apologetics I guess) and my own children as they mature.
God bless you and your family as you endure this suffering.
__________________
Dawn, mum to 3 boys 
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
abcmommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 129
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 11:11am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am glad to read your latest posts, esp about using their language, which made me giggle a bit. I grew up catholic and no one talked like that around me! It is so true tho that here that is common.
I am pretty much NOT the type to interject into a mundane topic like potty training or laundry discussion, "yes, the lord blessed me today with extra time and a small load of whites so I bleached the diapers and now I am ahead for the week!" But this is sort of like what i hear from the neighbors, so maybe I'll try it next time we are discussing our banal housewifery (we dont talk too much or too deeply.)
I might dash over and say "God has blessed you with a nice day to spread mulch" right after lunch. Its true too. God finally sent some dry spring weather to Indiana and we are all loving being outside again!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rachel May
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 24 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2057
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
abcmommy wrote:
I am pretty much NOT the type to interject into a mundane topic like potty training or laundry discussion, "yes, the lord blessed me today with extra time and a small load of whites so I bleached the diapers and now I am ahead for the week!" But this is sort of like what i hear from the neighbors, so maybe I'll try it next time we are discussing our banal housewifery (we dont talk too much or too deeply.)
I might dash over and say "God has blessed you with a nice day to spread mulch" right after lunch. It's true too. God finally sent some dry spring weather to Indiana, and we are all loving being outside again! |
|
|
I'm rolling!
I found the easiest way to start talking "the talk" (and I did it from my own need to acknowledge God's goodness; I had never thought about how it helped me get along with the neighbors) was to substitute "blessed" whenever I was going to say "lucky." And when someone would tell me about their wonderfully blessed diaper bleaching experience, I would respond with "God is good." Often you get back an "all the time!"
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bookswithtea wrote:
But I figure Paul knew how to be a Greek to the Greeks etc...and this is one of the easiest ways to bridge the gap. If you confidently assume that you have more in common with them than not, then it generally throws them off guard and they will give you the benefit of the doubt.
~Books |
|
|
I, too, see much of this as a language thing (not to minimize legitimate difference in beliefs.) Part of my reversion had to do with the many Evangelicals that I knew in Elko, NV. The first time a stranger came up to me and said, "Praise God and Alleluia, I'm Danielle" I almost fell over! Yet, eventually, Danielle became a dear friend and I was forced to look at my lack of ability to articulate my faith and love of God. Through all this I became "fluent" in Christian speak. Perhaps those here who are fluent can help translate for others when necessary . God IS Good...all the time!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rebecca
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 30 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1898
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 3:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
abcmommy wrote:
I am pretty much NOT the type to interject into a mundane topic like potty training or laundry discussion, "yes, the lord blessed me today with extra time and a small load of whites so I bleached the diapers and now I am ahead for the week!" |
|
|
Ten years ago I reverted to Catholicsm after 8 years of living the non-denominational, evangelical lifestyle. I think knowing the "lingo" is the best way to head off anymore attempts at "saving" your family. Many times Catholics and Fundamentalists are talking about the same thing but use different language that neither understand. Unfortunately, very few fund./evan. think Catholics are Christians if they are faithfully following the Catholic Church. As a fundamentalist, I spent much time "saving" Catholics with my little tracts. I was the most intense that they come, even standing on Times Square in NYC with a microphone.
(Yes, really .)
Anyhow, I have found the book Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic to be really helpful. I think it explains things from a Catholic perspective but uses Evangelical talking points.
God Bless,
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: April 11 2006 at 6:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
abcmommy wrote:
I am pretty much NOT the type to interject into a mundane topic like potty training or laundry discussion, "yes, the lord blessed me today with extra time and a small load of whites so I bleached the diapers and now I am ahead for the week!" |
|
|
LOL! ...would you believe that some Evangelicals "make fun of their own" at times, because it can be so ridiculous?
Rebecca wrote:
Many times Catholics and Fundamentalists are talking about the same thing but use different language that neither understand.
|
|
|
This is SOOOO true! Such a shame. But honestly, after 5 yrs as a Catholic, I still trip up sometimes over the language of Catholics, just plain not understanding it. For instance, when we first converted, every time I heard the term "Sacred Heart of Jesus" I would picture this bloody ole heart from a deer or something in some hunter's hands.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: WWYD- children "evangelizing" my kids
