4Real Forums: oldest gets all the glory

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: oldest gets all the glory

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mooreboyz
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Joined: March 16 2008
Location: Wisconsin
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Posts: 318

Posted: May 17 2011 at 7:49pm \| IP Logged

We just had our oldest 4 boys' piano recital this past weekend. All of them have been working very hard this past year with the older 3 practicing an hour each day. It showed and they all did wonderfully. Of course, my oldest has been taking lessons the longest and is the most advanced. He also was able to be in our district solo ensemble contest which he ended up going to state and getting a first place. We are, of course, very proud of him. My issue is that everyone continues to just praise the oldest for his piano playing. At the recital all the parents came over to tell him how wonderful he is and didn't say much to the others. I feel bad for the other guys. How do you deal with this? Even our family (grandparents, aunts, great grandparents) brag up how wonderful the oldest is and it is like they forget the others even play. I have to say that the other 3 are actually more advanced at their age than the oldest was and they all really enjoy playing. I really don't want them to get discouraged. I want them to feel like they are noticed for all their work too. Ideas?????

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Jackie
7 boys - 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 15, 17 years

JodieLyn
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Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
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Posted: May 17 2011 at 8:39pm \| IP Logged

Family I would speak to at a seperate time and gently remind them that the younger boys need their encouragement as well.

Sometimes a little "signal" between you and the younger boys can be an acknowledgement that "they're doing it again" and that can make them feel better without anything actually changing.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

Lisbet
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Joined: Feb 07 2006
Location: Michigan
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Posts: 2706

Posted: May 18 2011 at 12:09pm \| IP Logged

and likewise - you could talk to the oldest and encourage him to humbly and gently nudge the praise in the direction of his sibs.
For example, while gesturing toward his sibs...
"Thank you, We've all be working very hard and are grateful for our piano teacher"

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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12

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