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atara
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 5:11am | IP Logged
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I'm wondering. What was the biggest sacrifice you made or the thing you gave up to stay home?
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MWeber
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 5:38am | IP Logged
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The second income --> a bigger house, nice vacations, etc. But that is nothing compared to what I would be giving up if I were to go back to work, so I am certainly not complaining! Instead of Disney World, we go camping for $15 a night and come home smelling like burnt wood and roasted marshmallows. 
Before moving to DH's town (this was before we were married), I was in a PhD program in one of the top pharmacology departments in the country. I left 3 yrs into it to get married and start a family. My advisers told me I was ruining my life (in those exact words), that I was crazy, that I was throwing away one of the best opportunities I could ever ask for. This was coming from people who were married to their jobs, who were divorced and hardly ever saw their kids. I do miss it and wonder what it would have been like to run my own lab, but how can it even come close to this? (Granted, I didn't even have a ring on my finger when I decided to move, so I can sort of understand their sentiments, LOL.  )
A random story...a friend and I treated our kids to McDonalds for lunch last week. While waiting to order, a man behind us said to his friend "Well, you can tell those women don't work. They don't have to worry about paying social security either." Uhh...
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Michele
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mylonite
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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Also a second income. I spent my college as a workstudy in information technology and could easily have gotten a job in it. My degree is in Geology, and I have oil/gas experience. One of my friends worked on an oilfield for a summer, was picked up by a big name oil company and made over $100,000 by his second year out of school. Last I heard, the company paid for his Master's (and most likely his PhD) and he's still making plenty of money. When I left my summer oilfield job, the company I worked for told me to quit school and work for them full-time(which of course, included a gigantic payraise, a huge bonus, and all sorts of stuff).
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stellamaris
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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Well, I gave up an entire career path. I cried for days, literally, when I decided to stop working and stay home with my first-born child. Homeschooling him later was a step down the same road.
As far as what I gave up specifically to homeschool, I would say it was time alone and freedom of action. My time is spent with my children, and I rarely can think, "Hey, I'd like to do..." and then just do it.
The time is a tougher loss for me than the income potential.
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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Aagot
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
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I don't really feel like I gave up anything. I have a masters and was working at a University. Now I look back and am so thankful that I don't have to get up early, dress up, be "on" all the time, report to a boss, play the political games, keep my mouth shut because what I was thinking wasn't PC, and then come home and make dinner, clean, do laundry and squeeze a few minutes of quality time in with my kids before rushing them off to bed or rushing me out the door to an after hours meeting. Not to mention all the weekend hours I would have lost with my kids. The funny thing is, I really enjoyed my job a lot!
Now I can get up when I am rested, close the books and head for a hike, say "no" to outside requests etc. I am free to enjoy my family, read a book, take a nap, plant a garden and explore this beautiful world with my kids.
Much thanks goes to my dh, of course. Without his support and encouragement, I'd have a hard time doing most of that.
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mathmama
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I am currently working to help out dh's dept. I am enjoying it on some levels. I enjoyed graduate school, interacting with my peers and students. The extra money will definitely help. But, this is not the life I want for my family. This week has been spent shuttling the kids back and forth as dh and I juggle 21 credits between us. And I don't like spending so much time away from the children. Oh, and the house is falling apart Luckily, everyone had clean underwear this week
So, by staying home I am giving up that second salary and also the enjoyable interactions that I often have with students and colleagues.
But, by staying home I don't feel like I am trying to juggle 6 balls with 1 hand. I get to choose who I interact with. I get to live a somewhat sane life
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Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 9:57pm | IP Logged
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The biggest sacrifice is definitely the second income and all that entails.
But I wouldn't trade it back for the world.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
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 For it to be a sacrifice there would've had to have been something I wanted to do instead of stay home I guess. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
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I, either. Our family has been blessed by our home education journey. I really feel that my relationships with my children are deep and true, and that they are built on a solid foundation of faith, love and honesty. When I was working full time (with a deployed husband, too) it was all I could do to hold each day together. I did find a way to work from home as a freelance writer - it doesn't pay much but it does help with the "extras," so I don't feel guilty about dance expenses and Scout trips.
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mom3aut1not
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My PhD. I loved doing math, but I'm glad we made the sacrifice. If I had to do it all again, I'd make the same choice. The world has easily survived without the math I'd have done, but my kids (all with special needs) would have suffered a great deal without me at home.
I wish the book The Heart Has Its Own Reasons was still in print; it really helped me as a new bride to see how precious it would be to stay home and how much women were willing to sacrifice to stay home. (I think that's the name of the book; I haven't read it in ages.) I think it's by Mary Ann Cahill.
In Christ,
Deborah
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folklaur
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| Posted: April 08 2011 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| For it to be a sacrifice there would've had to have been something I wanted to do instead of stay home I guess. |
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This.
I mean - my degree is in Anthropology. Not a huge "second income" there that we're missing out on .
The only "sacrifice" - and I hate even using the term - was that DH & I were not able to be full time Archaeologists (we fully intended taking our children right along with us.) But our first child has had lifelong kidney issues, and so a career refocus was necessary.
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Trinity
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| Posted: April 09 2011 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I was taking my last course for my biology degree when I learned I was pregnant with our second. My husband and I decided it was best for me to stay home after I completed some seasonal work with the state.
I think the first couple of years I stayed home I felt I was letting my degree "gather dust". I found that harder to accept than living on one income and only keeping one car.  Then I realized that I do not have to be working to put my education to use. I use it every day, especially while teaching our children. Nothing had changed, except my way of thinking, and that has made all the difference in how I feel every day. Now I can't imagine not being home. : )
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Trinity
DS(05/01/03)& DD(03/02/08)
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CrunchyMom
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JodieLyn wrote:
| For it to be a sacrifice there would've had to have been something I wanted to do instead of stay home I guess. |
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Not necessarily. Every choice requires sacrificing. My economics major husband is always reminding us about "opportunity cost."
Do I make sacrifices to stay home? Yes. I think, for me, it is the time and freedom as Caroline said. I was a music and theater major, so I'd hardly be making a ton of money. But I do miss the opportunity to be involved in community theater or semi- professional ensembles. However, if the question was do I have any *regrets* I would say no way! Is is worth it? Absolutely. That doesn't mean I don't look longingly at the audition announcements for the local Gillberrt and Sullivan society fromm time to time
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Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 11 2011 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
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I am personally in the "lack of time for myself" zone. I didn't finish college to get my degree...I decided that 'getting my MRS degree' and moving to Europe to live with my DH (he was in the Army, stationed in Germany for another year plus after we were married)...I knew that living in Europe, on my own dime, etc, wasn't going to happen in this lifetime, short of a serious lottery win...much less for a year.
Now I wish we had traveled some more...but other than that, no regrets.
Rachel
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Lisa H
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| Posted: April 14 2011 at 12:14am | IP Logged
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this question made me think.
I was already a SAHM when we started homeschooling so I didn't miss the lost of a second income. When my kids where little and still taking naps, I had my down time. But now that they are older, I think it is that lost of "me" time. Selfish, I know but I do miss being able to just "be". Although, sitting in the church parking lot most Friday nights waiting for them could be considered me time, i guess.
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herdingkittens
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| Posted: April 14 2011 at 9:37pm | IP Logged
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eating out.
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: April 14 2011 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
JodieLyn wrote:
| For it to be a sacrifice there would've had to have been something I wanted to do instead of stay home I guess. |
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Not necessarily. Every choice requires sacrificing. My economics major husband is always reminding us about "opportunity cost."
Do I make sacrifices to stay home? Yes. I think, for me, it is the time and freedom as Caroline said. I was a music and theater major, so I'd hardly be making a ton of money. But I do miss the opportunity to be involved in community theater or semi- professional ensembles. However, if the question was do I have any *regrets* I would say no way! Is is worth it? Absolutely. That doesn't mean I don't look longingly at the audition announcements for the local Gillberrt and Sullivan society fromm time to time |
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I'm with JodieLynn - If I could be fully stay-at-home (not working for money at all), I would not be sacrificing or losing a thing. Not a thing that matters: I don't miss one thing about working outside my home. I make the sacrifice TO work from home (sacrificing family time) because I'm not sacrificing as much family time as working OUTside the home; perhaps additional money, but where would I use it, if I can't take it to heaven? I don't miss the socialization (pettiness, inappropriate topics...). So I sacrificed caring what someone thinks who won't be there at my death-bed, for the sake of someone who will be there: my family.
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kristacecilia
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Definitely a second income. It would make things a lot easier around here financially, but then I probably wouldn't appreciate it as much.
Also, I really enjoyed working in a lab (my degree is in biology and chemistry). I know I would have loved getting my masters and probably my PhD. I loved learning, I loved being in the lab, and I loved what I was doing. I do miss that, but I'd miss my kids a heck of a lot more if I was a working mom.
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: April 15 2011 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
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herdingkittens wrote:
eating out.
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I love to eat out, but with the four kids it is now too expensive (except as a rarity).
I've always wanted to stay home, and I actually quit work while pregnant with our first child. I was so excited when we conceived because I was finally able to justify staying home!
I think the real sacrifice was to actually have children. It took so long (almost 10 years) that I was getting used to having my own way (and the money that went along with it). I gave up an entirely different lifestyle to have children.
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Angie Mc
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Financial.
I can't deny that each year our family lives more and more modestly compared to our peers who have 2 incomes based on advanced degrees. In the early years, there didn't seem to be a big difference but there is a big difference cumulatively now.
Rarely, it does bug me that even though I earned a BS and MPA, the degrees somehow don't count because I'm just a wifenmother. And somehow this all equates in some peoples minds that I'm a doormat - how not smart is that? I have to admit that when someone like a store clerk, little league coach, or the like treats me like an idiot, I can get prideful . There is that part of me that wants to say, "Hey! I'm a smart person and I'm NO pushover!" But instead, I have to work to not be insulted and to not, ummm, show them the depth and breath of my opinions and well articulated arguments . So in the end, this part of the sacrifice is very clearly good for my soul  .
Financial...yep, that's pretty much it. Some days that feels like a lot. Most days, praise God, I can see that sacrificing money for the priceless family life we lead is really no sacrifice at all.
Love,
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Topic: Biggest sacrifice for you to stay home
