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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 03 2011 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
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WEEK 2 --- April 4 - 9
:: Chapter Three - Bullfrogs and Race Cars
:: Chapter Four - Electronic Matters
:: Chapter Five - Does Testosterone Drive Cars?
And the discussion continues...
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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SeaStar
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I loved the story in Chapter Three about the boy who slept outdoors. I love how the parents worked with him to let him have his chance to do it.
They could have said a flat no and squashed his ideas, but they listened and found a compromise. I think that will stay with me in the future as my ds continues to come up with his many boy schemes....
Also- what an interesting point about how boys, especially teenagers, truly believe they can change other people's minds. Is that why my ds repeatedly asks me to do something when I have already said no? Each time he asks he seems certain I might change my mind, and with each no is undaunted.
This will go on until I tell him that badgering is not allowed and will cost him 15 minutes of extra chores. But the next time,,,, same thing!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Grace&Chaos
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SeaStar wrote:
| I loved the story in Chapter Three about the boy who slept outdoors. |
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This was very cute. I'm not so sure I would have been so accomodating, but this whole idea that they need to be outside and physical is starting to sink in.
My dh has been cutting a tree (for several weekends now) that fell over during a recent storm. The boys have been out there alot while this tree is down. They've played jungle, taken army men out there and at one point (before reading ch. 3) they wanted to make a fort with blanket and sleep out there, mommy said no  .
This weekend when I got back from an errand yesterday my dh very matter of fact told me I should keep an eye on the boys this week because they were actually sawing with him and might want to saw some more wood on their own. 
Melinda, the asking over and over drives me crazy sometimes. Although I have to admit I see the same persistency with my girls too.
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Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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JennGM
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I enjoyed the stories about the boys and nature and strength, pushing the limits.
Is it just my experience with boys, or do you find it generally the case of
a) They want to test the limits of everything.
b) Most warnings fall on deaf ears unless they have seen or experienced (even if a small way) the possible dangers.
It seems unless they test it themselves, the healthy fear or caution doesn't happen. Intellectually they know of the dangers, but it isn't until it's actual reality that they will slow down.
One of the examples that come to mind is with fire. The joke is most boys are pyromaniacs. We talk about using caution, about fire out of control or singed fingers, but my son wasn't as careful until he actually experienced some slightly burnt fingers. And then he was embarrassed that he didn't have more control over the situation.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
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JodieLyn
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Warnings may fall on deaf ears.. but helping them through a logic process helps some.. so that they come to the conclusion that something is dangerous themselves vs just being told.
Fire is simply fascinating to any number of people. Most firefighters I've met have a fascination with fire (going camping with them is interesting  )
We use a wood stove for heat so my children are around fire. And when you're around something I've found that it's much better to learn to use it cautiously instead of a more strict hands off approach. They'll be drawn to it.. and if they've learned the cautions and have the opportunity for supervised experience, they're less likely to get into trouble on their own. One thing I do for instance is hold their hand close enough to a hot fire to really feel the heat (not get burned.. my hand is right there too) but hot enough to be uncomfortable.. and you can often avoid the burned fingers because they've already learned how hot it is in a safe way.
Just like you can teach a young child what "sharp" is by letting them touch the point of a safety pin.. then they have that experience when you tell them a knife is sharp.
And I think that helps any age boy.. if you help him work through the logic of something then he'll use that information. I think a lot of the problem is that boys (or girls) won't do that thinking process on their own.
And rules that are super strict and absolute and have serious consequences get respect. When we taught our children about gun safety. We made sure that they knew that even one rule broken meant we stopped. Period. No second chances (for that time.. second chances would come another day).
It just underlines how very serious it is and that impresses children. If you're not taking yourself seriously or if you're treating EVERYTHING as that serious.. it lowers the impact of the things that are that serious. I guess it's like treating stomping in puddles and running into the street as the same. When they're treated the same and one proves to not be dangerous, there's less respect for the rule that is to prevent really serious injury.
For me the big thing is to try and stay a step ahead.. teaching the safety skills to go along with their testing of skills or exeriences. Like teaching a child what to do if they can't find everyone else on a hike. It's best to teach it before you go on the hike.. not after it's happened and you got a happy ending. (we have the kids wear rescue whistles when we're out camping/hiking etc) we teach "no tweety birds" (don't use your whistle just because it's around your neck) and "hug a tree and blow the whistle" for when you can't find other people. And you go over it every time at the start and periodically. Right now we haven't gone in a while but my 8 yr old can remember the rule but not the 6 yr old.. and it has to be something that you don't have to think hard about because when you're lost you'll start to panic. But also talking about it means that hopefully they'll realize they can't find anyone and follow the rule before they have time to panic.
And honestly I LOVE that boys, kids, are so willing to put all their stength into a hard job. I've laid sod in our rather large backyard with mainly kids under 11 for helpers. We figure out how much they can do and then I let them do it. My dh is a fire engine captain and most of his crew is the 18-20 year olds and I would tease him that I could get more done with my crew of 11 and unders than he can with his 18 yr olds.  The kids and I also laid a paving stone/brick patio. Just bricks laid on a sand base. And I was pregnant. I was setting the bricks in but the kids would haul those bricks.. sure they could only move one brick at a time unlike if you were working with adults who would move a whole stack at a time. But 3 kids bringing me one brick each meant I could set the bricks about as fast as I could. They want to do that sort of work and they're proud of being able to do it. So it takes 3 kids to do the work of one adult. Teamwork can make up for a lot. I've seen my kids and the kids of the family we were helping to move decide to move a large box.. they had 6 kids around that box and another child helping direct.. but they moved it.
Last year I needed to move dirt in the garden. I could have done it myself, I didn't have the bigger kids who could have done an adult job (like moving a wheelbarrow of dirt).. but I had two little boys that wanted to help. I sent them for their dumptrucks.. and I would put a shovelful of dirt into the dump truck and off the first boy would go, driving the truck to the other end of the garden and dumping it. And I'd fill the second boys truck and off he'd go. They had a great time. And that dirt got moved rather easily if not quite as fast as having adults to do the work. And those boys are so proud of their accomplishment. The old of the two offered to help grandma move dirt in her garden this year. I had to tell my mom how we'd moved the dirt because she was trying to figure out how he could do the job she was thinking of.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 06 2011 at 6:52pm | IP Logged
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ok I always get a bit when after I say a bunch of stuff.. no one posts
What did you think of the chapter on electronic stuff?
She mentions all sorts.. and music and mp3 files seperately. I know my son listens to audio books.. but I guess I never really thought of that as media.. but more like reading a book. He struggles with reading so he listens to the book while reading along, but he really learns very well by listening rather than reading so I really was thinking there was no harm in doing this for him.
And I still think the benefits outway the negatives at least for this form of media use.
But I'm not sure if I'm just shocked at what she was saying is out there that is drawing boys in.. or what. I mean my kids use the computer. But they're not in chat rooms or anything like that.. the computer is in the juncture of major rooms so almost the hub of the house so it's easy to keep an eye on.. and it's rare for someone to be able to do anything without someone else knowing.
How do you limit electronics? and what do you feel makes the trade off of using them acceptable?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Grace&Chaos
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The electronics question is hard for me because I can honestly say we are not a high tech family. I literally didn't have a cell phone 'till about four years ago and I only got one because I had a roadside emergency with four little ones. So I guess for us it translates to my little guys really not being exposed to much if anything at all. We own 3 Nintendo DS games (given as gifts by family) but they hardly get used. I've yet to discover books on audio so my boys haven't gotten into that.
The extent of media exposure is our television and DVD collection. I monitor what gets put on tv and we have really invested on good DVD's to have vast selection for them in order to bypass tv watching.
We own one computer and it sits in our bedroom. The kdis don't ever get on it. My oldest dd just received a hand me down laptop from my sister and it will serve the purpose of a learning tool, no internet access.
I think I fall into the very paranoid about media exposure and what is out there category . I'm not sure how to handle that trade off yet. I get on that or at least trust that the life learning atmosphere at home will give them good direction.
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Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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stellamaris
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JodieLyn wrote:
The kids and I also laid a paving stone/brick patio. Just bricks laid on a sand base. And I was pregnant. I was setting the bricks in but the kids would haul those bricks.. sure they could only move one brick at a time unlike if you were working with adults who would move a whole stack at a time. But 3 kids bringing me one brick each meant I could set the bricks about as fast as I could. They want to do that sort of work and they're proud of being able to do it. So it takes 3 kids to do the work of one adult. Teamwork can make up for a lot. I've seen my kids and the kids of the family we were helping to move decide to move a large box.. they had 6 kids around that box and another child helping direct.. but they moved it.
Last year I needed to move dirt in the garden. I could have done it myself, I didn't have the bigger kids who could have done an adult job (like moving a wheelbarrow of dirt).. but I had two little boys that wanted to help. I sent them for their dumptrucks.. and I would put a shovelful of dirt into the dump truck and off the first boy would go, driving the truck to the other end of the garden and dumping it. And I'd fill the second boys truck and off he'd go. |
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You are my hero!   Wow! I am truly impressed with your strength and perseverance and ability to delegate! You are inspiring me to get out there with my littler boys and do more. I think I got spoiled having big guys to help out around the house, but now they are all off in their own houses, I need to get to work training the next "work crew"! 
JodieLyn wrote:
| But I'm not sure if I'm just shocked at what she was saying is out there that is drawing boys in.. or what. I mean my kids use the computer. But they're not in chat rooms or anything like that.. the computer is in the juncture of major rooms so almost the hub of the house so it's easy to keep an eye on.. and it's rare for someone to be able to do anything without someone else knowing. |
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I can say from some of my own  experiences that computers are truly a dangerous source of temptation and sin for our children. There is so much really questionable stuff out there. Even when you think you have it locked up, kids are so tech-savvy that they can often get around your safeguards. It is wise to frequently check the history of your computer to make sure the sites they are visiting are OK. We keep our computer in a common room, too, but when our children are in the final years of high school they get their own computer which they can use in their rooms. This is beyond scary, if you ask me, but I realize they will soon be on their own and I hope and pray that have good judgment about where they go online. They do need to have some experience with the computer before college or they will really be at a disadvantage. And, yes, it is terrifying what is out there. Every day I question whether we ought to ditch the computers or not.
I read the story about the boys and the fort and the "parachute" escape to my dh. We laughed so hard...it is just like our boys! So I agree with Dr. Meeker that we need to allow our boys to do "boy" things. At our Virginia house, we have some woods behind the house. The children feel like they are in a deep forest, but I can see them from the kitchen window! They go out there and play house and Indian and pioneer and it is a great experience. I wonder what could be a similar experience for city dwellers or those on small lots with no outdoor spaces?
One thing I find about Dr. Meeker's book is that it goes a bit far in the direction of lauding all boyishness. I do think she is trying to make an important point, but when she commented in one of the earlier chapters that
Dr. Meeker wrote:
| Fourth-grade boys blow up two-liter pop bottles with Drano and aluminum foil.....But today natural, healthy boyhood is under attack (a little further down on the page) |
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I couldn't agree that Drano bombs fall under "natural, healthy boyhood"...I wouldn't allow my boys to play with such dangerous substances, frankly. I appreciate her comments on risk-taking, but there are positive risk-taking behaviors (like camping and hiking and rock-climbing with a Scout troop) and negative risk-taking. You don't want the consequences to be too severe for a young boy.
Finally, Dr. Meeker makes a good point when she says:
Dr. Meeker wrote:
| It isn't primarily peer pressure that's driving boys toward drugs, drinking, or depression, or that is causing them to fall behind academically or drop out of school...The real reason is that we have lowered our expectations about teenage boys. |
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I agree that we, as a society, have completely and tragically lowered our standards for all of our young people, and for ourselves, too. This is not just a parental problem. It pervades the entire culture, so I do still think the "peer pressure" issue is there as well, and not just their age peers, but all the people who are so secularized in our culture. It is very tough for young people today; there is constant pressure on them to indulge in so many of the world's depraved activities. I am so proud of my children who have been strong under this kind of pressure, but we also need to realize that those who fall need our prayers, our counsel, and our love to bring them back to Faith and repentance.
OK, Jodie, feel better? 
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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MWeber
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| Posted: April 06 2011 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
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I really appreciate your comments on safety. My dh is big on educating my son on gun safety. But instead of simply saying "don't you dare ever go near those", he sits down with him, shows him all the different parts, shows him how to clean it, etc. Then he lays down the rules, tells him to never go near them w/o Dad around, and locks them up. A boy is going to be curious - there is no way around it. So, you might as well show him what it's all about, educate him, and then make sure he understands there will be serious consequences if the rules are broken.
I love the chapter about playing in the woods. I pray I am able to give my kids the freedom to just be kids. I have fond memories of swinging on the vines in the woods behind my house. Catching crayfish, and just getting plain dirty. (I was a tomboy. ) My biggest concern - and I hope some of you can give me some insight on this - is the influence of other boys, particularly those in the neighborhood. DH and I can lay down the moral foundation for our kids. We can surround them with strong Catholic friends through homeschool groups and Church. But it is really hard to control who your neighbors are. We *adore* our neighbors. The kids all get along so well, and we love all hanging out outside while they ride their bikes and play ball. But none of them are Christian (good people, but more flexible in terms of what they are exposed to, what they can get away with, etc.). And it's one thing for my almost-5 yo to be around 5-8 yo kids who talk back to their parents, whine, and disobey. It's an entirely different ballgame when these boys grow up and start sneaking into the woods to drink. How do you control that? Or do you at all? Do you relinquish control over these sorts of things and just pray your child will stay on track? I have a friend who lives 15 min away and her entire cul de sac is homeschooled . I so wish my children can be surrounded by good Christian families who have the same morals and beliefs that we have. I want my kids to take their faith for granted...not in a bad way. But I want them to be comfortable in their faith. To not have to constantly question why their best friends don't have any relationship with God.
There is a good chance we'll be moving in the next couple of years, but it's still going to be an issue no matter where we live...well, unless we live on a farm or on my friend's cul-de-sac. 
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Michele
Mom to ds (2006), dd (^2007^), dd (2009), & dd (Dec 2010)
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stellamaris
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I keep looking for out-of-the-way places to live!
But, seriously, I do not allow my children to go into the homes of people I am not completely familiar and comfortable with. Certainly, I would not allow them to hang out in the woods with older boys without an adult around (as in a Scouting situation). When my older children (even 16+) go down to the coffee shop in town or over to our local park, I insist they go with a friend whom I know and feel is pretty trustworthy. I would not advise "relinquishing control" until they are young adults (sometimes between 18 and 22). As long as my children live under my roof, I have some say over what goes on in their lives. I regret more NOT having been firm than having been too firm. At some point, of course, they will begin to make the transition to being on their own, but later teen years is plenty early enough to have to begin to deal with that. And even then, as I said, they are in your home and you can set some rules--which I certainly would. Parents don't need to hover, but they do need to set guidelines and rules that they feel are going to protect their children from, especially, spiritually negative influences.
Drano bombs are nothing compared to sin.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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JodieLyn
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well they don't explode but water rockets from 2 liter bottles are fun
I have to keep reminding myself that what's ok for a certain age in a certain place.. may not be ok in another place.. I'm much more lax than Caroline I think.. but I'm one of the strictest in our area.. and Caroline might seem lax to someone in a place where you need to be even more careful.
What I'm finding.. of course my kids aren't older teens yet is that.. my kids just aren't "cool" enough to be included in the more worldly teens' activities.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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JodieLyn
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Oh and Caroline, I was under some serious deadlines on those projects, with dh at work and/or out of town.. except the moving dirt one.. and that one was actually easier on me to do with the help of the little guys.. I didn't feel compelled to shovel dirt faster or move dirt faster.. I could go at a nice leisurely pace that was good for me and the boys had so much fun and they were hilarious to watch.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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MWeber
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stellamaris wrote:
But, seriously, I do not allow my children to go into the homes of people I am not completely familiar and comfortable with. Certainly, I would not allow them to hang out in the woods with older boys without an adult around (as in a Scouting situation). |
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What I meant when I mentioned my son hanging out with 12-15 yr olds was when they all grow up (my son included), like in 8 years. I have no idea what it's like to mother children that old, and it terrifies me. But when I was that age, my parents let me ride my bike all over the neighborhood, walk to the convenience store with my friends, and take hikes in the woods. I was a pretty cautious person, but I'm not so sure it was wise for them to give me such freedom.
And regarding going into friends' homes...that's just it! I trust my neighbors and they have watched my kids in emergencies several times. I trust that they are watching out for them. But I don't know what to expect when their kids get a bit older...without that strong moral foundation, what is going to happen? My son hears these kids give their parents attitude all the time. If he tries it with us, we immediately set him straight. I guess we just need to keep reminding him that what other parents allow their kids to do doesn't necessarily mean it's acceptable in our home.
And most importantly, we need to continue to deepen our relationships with our Catholic friends. This will help him see that he is not alone among his peers in his personal journey of faith.
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Michele
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SeaStar
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Jodie-
I also wondered about listening to books on tape. Surely listening to
Farmer Boy on cd could not be compared to listening to Rap music on the radio?
Radio brings with it so many lovely things... obnoxious commercials, scary music, sarcastic Djs, etc. That is why in the car we *only* listen to books on tape or music cds. I'm thinking Dr. Meeker was meaning radio.... or maybe she meant that some kids are plugging in their ipods and tuning out the rest of the world. Hmm... I wonder if I should wrote to her and ask?
Video games 
We don't have any, but I feel like I have to be Martin the Warrior to keep them out of my house! The issue came up at Christmas again this year with relatives wanting to give us one as a gift. And the neighbors all have them and invite ds in to play, and then he gets upset when I say no. So- we don't even have any and still they cause tumult in my family. 
My ds keeps asking when we'll get one... and I keep saying when I'm dead on the living room floor you can plug one into the TV. I just can't see anything at all worthwhile in them. And I can't understand why, when all the doctors and all the researchers and all the teachers and all the articles agree that they are harmful parents in America still buy them. It's sort of like cigarettes.... everyone knows they can kill you, but so many people still smoke.
I especially appreciated Dr. Meeker's point that life is not a video game, and kids need to learn that you can't just push the restart button.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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stellamaris
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I realized in reading over my post that it sounded as if I was saying I wouldn't let my boys go camping with the Scouts...what I meant was I wouldn't let them just hang out in the woods UNLESS it was with an adult, as in Scouting! We have had all of our boys in Scouting and we think it is a great program! Just wanted to clarify that.
Also, not sure I'm so strict. Unfortunately, some of my kids have been "cool" and it is a real challenge to guide them and keep them on the right track. As I say, some have been easy, some more difficult.
MWeber wrote:
| I have no idea what it's like to mother children that old, and it terrifies me. |
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I've been through it 4 times already, and it is both wonderful (because they can be so much fun and so great during those teen years) and TOTALLY terrifying. I tend to worry--not a good trait for the mom of teens. I have grown in trust in the Lord, I must say, during these years. Some of my more "strict" approaches are the result of problems either my own older children have had or that I have seen their friends have. I have an appreciation for both the wonderful opportunities teens have today and the dangers.
SeaStar wrote:
I also wondered about listening to books on tape. Surely listening to
Farmer Boy on cd could not be compared to listening to Rap music on the radio? |
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I can't see how books on audio could be a negative. As homeschooling parents, we spend a TON of time with our kids, so we cover the relationship basis pretty well in most cases. We have to remember that Dr. Meeker is speaking to all parents in this book, most of whom have all of their children in school full-time.
SeaStar wrote:
| I just can't see anything at all worthwhile in them. And I can't understand why, when all the doctors and all the researchers and all the teachers and all the articles agree that they are harmful parents in America still buy them. |
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Generally, I agree with you on this. But, I have to say we have some Wii games and enjoy them. Also, I do let my special needs son play some games because they have been shown to help develop hand-eye coordination (which is a huge problem for him). They also are used with Alzheimer's patients to improve concentration and memory. So there are a few good uses. However, Melinda, I know you will be happier if you stick to your guns. I'm really ambivalent about letting them play these games.
Gotta' say, I got a good out of the image of your son stepping over your dead body to play a video game! Loved it!
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Marcia
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I would disagree that audio books are "media"....I think it's been a great alternative for my boy when I just can't read one more book aloud to him. We tend to have these while in the car. Esp since there is no DVD player in the car.
I think Meekers response to TV comes back to me over and over. It's like my son needs TWICE as much outdoor play to compensate for the time he has been in front of the TV being still. I keep that in the back of my mind when he asks and asks and asks to watch something. (Yes I find that persistence here in this house).
I'd like to distill the work ethic I can get from my 6.5 year old boy and put it into my 9 year old girl. I can get so much work from him as I ask him to come along side me on a project. He is so able to focus on labor. I really love this about boys. I think their single mindedness makes a big difference. I've got a zillion things shooting around in my brain-perhaps that is what is happening in my daughters mind too. :)
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
Homeschooling 10th, 7th, 5th, 2nd, PreK and a toddler in tow.
I wonder why
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SeaStar
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| Posted: April 07 2011 at 6:54am | IP Logged
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Another interesting thought to ponder that has been on my mind is Dr.Meeker's comment that boys usually act worse with their mothers because they feel more secure in their mother's affection. They feel they can "let it all hang out" and still be loved.
Ah- is that why when I'm gone to the grocery store and come home everything falls apart and dh says, scratching his head, "Everyone was fine while you were gone. Now everyone is needy..."?
And I've had so many people tell me that kids are always worse with their mothers as far as behavior, but always there the implication has been that mothers have a higher tolerance for nonsense and let things slide.
I feel that I am the opposite of that-probably not letting enough slide- so it was a huge relief and comfort for me to read Dr. Meeker's explanation.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Grace&Chaos
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Melinda, I really think that perception comes back to how male and females are different. We function differently and require different things for our emotional well beings. Children, at least mine, know that mom and dad sometimes don't do things the same. They read us like books . I've made an effort to not allow myself to divert to much from how my dh and I parent. Sometimes my nature just makes me softer although by some of my friends and family standards, I am just to strict/conservative . The reality is that I grew up in a household where my mom and dad were polar opposites and we knew it. I don't want that environment for them.
I think Caroline touched on it last week. The key is to not undermine each other especially in front of the children. My dh and I have had moments where we let the other "parent" at the moment and then come back and tell each other how we didn't agree or how it should have been handled differently. We both have even apologized to our children for misunderstandings, but try to avoid correcting each other at the moment (extreme situations excluded here).
All this said, yes I think my kids "act worse" around me ... sometimes .
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Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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JodieLyn
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Melinda, that explaination on why kids act out more around mom is the one that I learned in college too (I was taking child development classes). It's only when you're *safe* that you can fall apart/meltdown.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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lovebeingamom
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JennGM wrote:
I enjoyed the stories about the boys and nature and strength, pushing the limits.
Is it just my experience with boys, or do you find it generally the case of
a) They want to test the limits of everything.
b) Most warnings fall on deaf ears unless they have seen or experienced (even if a small way) the possible dangers.
It seems unless they test it themselves, the healthy fear or caution doesn't happen. Intellectually they know of the dangers, but it isn't until it's actual reality that they will slow down.
One of the examples that come to mind is with fire. The joke is most boys are pyromaniacs. We talk about using caution, about fire out of control or singed fingers, but my son wasn't as careful until he actually experienced some slightly burnt fingers. And then he was embarrassed that he didn't have more control over the situation. |
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I am so glad to have read this!!! Thank you for posting your thoughts .... I see it is so true with my DS who is only 2.5 yo.
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4Real Forums : Book Club
Topic: BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS - WEEK 2
